After a rough breakup, it can feel like you missed your one chance at happiness. But the
truth is that oftentimes a breakup isn’t the end. In fact, studies show that upwards
of 60% of couples have broken up and got back together at one point or another. So let me
tell you’ll know that you and your ex are meant to be together.
Hi, I’m Brad Browning, world-renowned breakup coach and author of The Ex Factor Program.
I’m here to help you through one of the most difficult periods of your life and help
you get a second chance with your ex, if that’s what you want. So please subscribe to my channel
and while you’re at it, please like this video. That can be your good deed for today.
So, let’s get into it. Here are the ten signs that tell you that you and your ex are
meant to be, starting with number one...
1. Your family likes them and vice versa
Family is so important and it can have a huge impact on a long term relationship. So if
you get along with their family and they get along with yours, you should seriously consider
giving things another shot. Family can be a source of friction or it can be a source
of strength and connection for years to come. Not only that, but it’s a great indicator
of compatibility between the two of you. As we all know, we tend to get more similar to
our parents as we age so if you know you get along with that version of your partner, then
it’s not going to be a huge shock when you find they’ve become a little more like their
parents than they were when you first met.
2. You’re still connected even after the breakup
I often advise my clients to go No Contact with their exes. This means no phone calls,
text messages or in person meetups for at least 30 days following the breakup. If you
want your ex back, this is the way to go. The time apart helps you both process the
breakup, it stops further conflict between the two of you and it prevents you from sliding
into being just friends, which is a BIG mistake if you want them back.
All that said, if you didn’t happen to see my videos on this topic and you opted to stay
friends with your ex, this can actually be a good sign for your future together. As I’ve
said, being friends with your ex is a bad strategy if you’re hoping to get back together,
but the fact that you had a strong enough bond that you COULD be friends is a sign that
you two may have a future together down the line. The opposite are those relationships
that end suddenly and a week later you feel no connection to the other person and it’s
almost like the relationship never happened. I’m sure you can think of people from your
past that you can’t believe you even dated, much less were in a serious relationship with.
It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them and respect them, just that you two are SO
different now that it almost seems like another lifetime. The truth is, people change over
time and you can either grow together, or, more commonly, you can grow apart.
3. You haven’t given up hope
The truth is that a relationship doesn’t end when you break up, it ends when you stop
trying to make it work. Now this point can come years before you two call it quits for
good or it can happen months or years after you two have split. The important thing is
that if you can hold out hope that you two might have a future together then this is
a sign that the two of you may be meant to be. Obviously if neither of you hope for a
future where you’re back together then the chances of it happening spontaneously are
pretty slim.
This is just to say that confidence is key in this situation. I wouldn’t advise you
to disregard your ex’s wishes or to pester them into giving you a second chance. Just
hold on to that hope inside of you and use it to improve yourself and work towards a
future where you two can be together. Because the moment you give up hope for good, is the
moment you’ll know that you two have no future.
4. Your relationship had these FIVE things
Here’s something a little more concrete: a landmark study that was recently released
by The National Academy of Sciences. This study used machine learning to analyze 43
datasets from 29 different laboratories across the US. This is a little dense but it basically
boils down to this:
There are five different aspects of any relationship that predict success in the long run. Those
aspects are:
1. Perceived partner commitment: you felt like your partner was committed to you for
the long haul, and vice versa. 2. Appreciation: you and your partner both
felt and SHOWED appreciation for the other person.
3. Sexual satisfaction: You were able to maintain a happy and healthy sex life.
4. Perceived partner satisfaction: you knew your partner was happy and vice versa.
And 5. Conflict: you were able to handle conflict in a way that brought you closer together
rather than drove you apart.
Think about your relationship. How well did it do in these categories? Obviously perceived
partner commitment has taken a hit recently, since you broke up, but if your relationship
was otherwise healthy, then it seems to me that you two are meant to be. Because there
are plenty of long-lasting relationships that are lacking in EVERY one of these areas. Remember
these moving forward and, if you are lucky enough to get a second chance, make sure that
you put in the work to fulfill these five areas.
5. You scored a 70 or above on my Ex Back Quiz
Here’s one you can do right after watching this video. Go to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz and
fill out the simple questionnaire to find out in detail, what your chances are with
your ex. I’ve put all my experience as a breakup coach into creating this quiz. It’s
completely free, it only takes five minutes, and it’s 100% confidential. Try it now at
BreakupBrad.com/Quiz
6. You two have powerful physical attraction
One unfortunate fact of long term relationships is that attraction fades over time. This is
why we stop feeling butterflies when we see that other person once we’ve been together
for awhile. This is perfectly normal. As you get to know each other better, these feelings
turn into a deeper, more secure form of love. So the more powerful your attraction starting
out, the better your connection will be in the long run. Attraction is foundational to
any romantic relationship and if you’re not attracted to one another, I’m sorry
to say but things just aren’t meant to be.
There are plenty of ways to foster attraction between you and another person. Something
as simple as flirting can work wonders to create that spark that’s missing. And you
can always focus on losing weight, improving your body, and improving your appearance.
This will not only make you more attractive, but it will help you feel more confident which
will compound this effect.
And if you found that attraction was starting to fade in a relationship, the truth is that
a breakup can actually help light those fires all over again. Because the more time you
spend together, the more used to this other person you become. No matter how good looking
the two of you are, if you spend too much time together, they will eventually become
familiar, and unexciting. Now that you’re apart, you truly have a chance to miss one
another. This means when you meet again, you’ll feel that electric charge you felt when you
first saw one another. If this pull is strong enough, then it means that the two of you
really are meant to be.
7. The breakup was extremely tough
Sometimes it takes a breakup to make us realize what we had in the first place. If your breakup
has been really difficult to deal with, if you find that you can’t eat, you can’t
sleep, and you can’t get your mind off things, even weeks or months later, then this is a
sign that the two of you are meant to be. If you’re experiencing a huge sense of loss
and it feels like you can’t go on, this is your mind telling you that what you had
was really special and that it’s not really over, despite what may have happened between
you.
On the other hand, if you felt a huge sense of relief after your breakup and you realize
that you don’t miss them like you thought you would, then this is a sign that moving
on is going to be the best option for you.
8. They made you the best version of yourself
Some people say that your partner should push you to improve yourself and reach your goals.
Others say that your partner should bring you comfort and let you truly be yourself.
I think that both are true. Someone you’re meant to be with will allow you to be the
best version of yourself. So if your partner made you feel supported and comfortable but
also free to pursue your hopes and dreams, then you’ve found a keeper and someone you
should stay with for the long haul. If you’re not sure whether you feel this way, then chances
are you don’t. Because once you feel this feeling, you’ll know that it’s the real
deal and you’ll do anything to make it last forever.
That just about does it for this list. How about it? Do you think you and your ex are
meant to be or is it time to move on? If you’d like help figuring that out, I recommend you
try my one on one coaching over at BreakupBrad.com/Coaching. I’ve helped thousands of people rebuild
their relationships and I can do the same for you.
Thanks for watching and I’ll see you in my next video.