• From swimming on carpets, to throwing fish at walls, the Planet Dolan crew re-enact
some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the weirdest thing we’ve seen drunk
people do – I’m Doopie and today I’ll be your narrator
10 – Dat_fandom_girl Zaraganba When Zaraganba was 12, his parents hosted
a party and his uncle was the first one there.
His uncle brought some beer but promised not to drink any until the children went to bed,
and his parents let it slide.
Zaraganba went to his room, eating some candy which was shaped like little fishes.
He was sitting on a big blue rug on the floor when his uncle walked in and said, "Wait...
This isn’t the bathroom”.
He saw Zaraganba’s candy fish and thought they were real.
He then grabbed handfuls and threw them on the blue rug yelling, "Swim mother fuckers,
swim!"
He then proceeded to roll around on the carpet as if he was swimming, eating the fish off
the ground.
After about a minute he stopped and puked all over the floor.
Zaraganba just sat there, looking at his uncle in disbelief.
9 - Anonymouswag13 Emojie Emojie was at his friend’s birthday party
once, who was turning 12.
Emojie had never met his friend’s dad before and was excited to meet him, but he was running
very late.
His friend’s dad finally arrived 30 minutes late to the party, but something seemed off.
Soon Emojie - along with everyone else - realized that he was really, really drunk.
He started to sing happy birthday to a random kid and Emojie’s friend just watched in
horror.
He then pulled his pants down and walked into the next room.
Emojie watched as he waltzed straight into the kitchen and started pissing in the sink.
Emojie’s friend stood there facepalming, pretending it wasn’t happening.
8 – hoperulez2016 Melissa Once when Melissa was at school, she was sitting
in the playground when out of nowhere, a random drunk guy appeared.
He was holding a guitar case and it looked like he was going to get something out of
the case when all of a sudden his pants fell down, exposing his naked shlong.
The bell rang and Melissa went back to class laughing.
The next day, the man appeared on the front page of the local newspaper.
He had passed out on the school lawn and his guitar case contained a machete, and a gun.
Who knows what could’ve happened to Melissa and her friends if his pants hadn't fallen
down.
7 – robbie10yt Cidius Cidius had to stay with his uncle once who
occasionally likes to have a drink.
So that night when he got drunk he went outside to have a cigarette.
Apart from being slightly louder than usual, his uncle was being well behaved until suddenly
he stripped all of his clothes off and ran into the street.
He started humping the nearest street pole and making loud erotic noises.
His neighbour yelled out for his uncle to stop smoking, but somehow luckily failed to
notice he was naked and grinding a pole.
Cidius demanded he come back inside, where he passed out.
He was so drunk he had no memory of it the next day.
6 – LucyIsTrash Andiemations Andiemations lived with her mother when she
was younger and one thanksgiving they decided to have a quiet dinner together.
Her mother spent the entire day cooking a big feast for the two of them, but Andiemations
didn’t realise her mother was drinking the whole time she was cooking.
By dinner time her mother was absolutely drunk and trying to lay out plates at the table.
Andiemations was in her room when she heard a loud crashing noise.
She ran in to find her mother laying on a pile of wood on the floor.
Apparently she had passed out on the table and broken it into pieces.
They eventually replaced the table but it was definitely not the best Thanksgiving she
ever had.
5 – DutchyGamerS Nixxiom Nixxiom was walking home from a bar one night
when he saw a very drunk guy riding his bike in the opposite direction.
The guy could barely stay upright and swaying around, hit the curb going full speed and
launched himself head first into the back of a road sign.
Naturally, he laughed at the poor guy, but he wouldn't get up so Nixxiom tried to help
him.
The guy was completely drenched in his own blood.
He gave Nixxiom a thumbs up while saying: "I’m fine!"
He then proceeded to grab his bike and ride away, only to hit a taxi, smearing the white
cab with his blood, only to ride off again yelling, “I’M FINE”.
4 – DabalertYT Grgak In 7th grade, Grgak was walking down a quiet
street by himself when he spotted a man ahead.
As he got closer, he realised the man was super drunk.
He looked at Grgak and whispered, "Hey Duncan, Come here."
Grgak had no idea who Duncan is, so he started running away.
The man ran after him, wobbling every time he took a step.
Luckily a stranger saw Grgak running and yelled to the drunk man.
The drunk man took white powder out of his pocket and tried to give some to the stranger.
The stranger looked at him for a second and then punched the drunk man so hard he knocked
one of his teeth out.
Grgak ran home, pretending it never happened.
3 – Chloe1010 Princess Proton One time when Princess Proton’s parents
got drunk, her dad decided to take out the trash at 12am.
Her mom also being drunk followed him afterwards and shut the door, locking them out.
They both realized what happened and started banging and yelling at the back door.
Proton had headphones on and didn’t hear anything.
Suddenly there was a bang on Proton’s window, she opened it and her dad climbed in from
the roof.
Her Dad went to bed and the next morning he realized he forgot to let her mom back inside.
They went to the back door and found her mom asleep outside on the grass.
Lucky it was the summer.
2 – Kathrine_silver_3 Hellbent When Hellbent was younger, his uncle lived
with his family for a short time.
His uncle would occasionally get super drunk and one time he came home late at night, making
a lot of noise.
Hellbent went downstairs to ask his uncle to be quiet.
As he came downstairs, Hellbent found his uncle holding his pet gold fish in one hand
and standing, staring at the wall.
After a few seconds of swaying back and forth, he gripped the fish and threw it against the
wall screaming "I CHOOSE YOU, GOLDFISH".
He watched as his uncle then immediately passed out on the floor.
Luckily both the fish and his uncle made a full recovery.
1 – NARRATOR’S STORY
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have a question for you that we’d love more answers too: “What's the coolest thing
your sibling ever did for you?”
Let us know in the reddit page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown.