Let's start off being honest right off the bat:
I have no idea what this video is.
I just had a random idea in my head
"What if I tried to make a video that has literally no point to it?"
So here we are.
Over the course of, like a month or two
I started jotting down some of the random things that have crossed my brain and stuff along that line
Not the kind that are philosophical or have a deeper meaning,
Just the stupid ones.
I, this video might change the way you view me as a person.
Whatever, I don't care. Let's get started.
I was going through my phone contacts the other week and I was like
"You know what? I want to get rid of the people I don't really need to have in here."
Some contact spring cleaning.
So I started deleting people I've never talked to
and the further in I got, the more I was thinking
"Who are these people?!"
"Where did they even come from?!"
"Jacob Acorn? I've never a Jacob Acorn before, the frick?"
And then there would be people where I only added their first name:
"Ashley? Ashley... I'm assuming Newberry? Uh... yeah, delete."
"I don't talk to her. Oh, wait, wrong Ashley! Welp, I accidentally just permanently erased some other Ashley from my life."
Also, that whole process made me realize I have way less friends than I thought I did.
Like, I didn't have too many to begin with, but I deleted a lot more people than I thought I would
And my contact list is far smaller than it was before.
What if dogs were the humans of the earth?
Like, instead of a human society, it was dogs?
What would they create, would they build a government?
What would their education system be?
Would they create dog hobbies and dog sports?
I'm not talking about the typical throwing Frisbees and tennis balls.
Maybe they'd create a game where they wear face harnesses with a scoop
That can hold a ball and they have to toss the ball into a hole in opposite sides of the court, each hole providing a different amount of
points depending on its difficulty.
Like, kinda like soccer or football combined with basketball,
and there's teams so they need to strategize
and work together to win against the other dogs?
Would they create art and music, and invent things?
Do they have passions that we couldn't think of?
Like, if humans were just a wild animal, it would be much harder for us to realize that,
Say, "playing a saxophone was your passion!"
Because, HAH, wild animals can't invent saxophones, silly.
So you'd never discover that side of yourself
But, what if dogs could discover their passions and creative sides
Like, humans? I'd wanna go to a dog art museum and see what kind of art they'd make.
Aren't you curious?
If dogs had the intelligence and creativity of humans, what would they do with it?
Could they run earth better than we are?
In a weird way, I kinda hope so.
In horror movies, why is it always the piano that's the haunted, pretentious, scary instrument?
I've seen the scenarios where pianos play themselves the keys are smashed down to
make a really ugly sound maybe the occasional lid will slam down and kill
someone is it because people see them as elegant yet ominous at the same time
setting up a good atmosphere
I want to watch a horror movie where instead of
walking into a big empty room with a "haunted" grand piano in the center a
character walks into a big empty room and sees a ghost playing
OTAMATONEEEEEE (beautiful singing)
I'd be much more engaged in a movie like that, just saying. Why does nobody talk
about half popped popcorn kernels. They're just as good as the full popped
ones. After you've consumed 97 percent of your popcorn you get to the kernels at
the bottom, and instead of throwing them all away
you should crunch on the ones that are semi popped.
hMM heck!
if you don't eat
the half popped kernels, you're missing out on some of the best things in life. One
time I was at the grocery store getting groceries.
"Yeah great scriptwriting there Jaiden. That was poetic," and at the checkout I
could tell the cashier was new at her job not like she was doing everything
wrong, but you could see she didn't have the fluid motion down of a professional
grocery store scanner. Those people have it down like it's an art form!
It's beautiful in a strange way. So she was scanning the things and she got to
the cilantro. You probably know this but you can't just put a barcode sticker on
cilantro. I think some stores will wrap a tag around it but the place I was at
just had a serial code that the cashier had to manually punch in. So the girl was
flipping through the book that had all the serial codes in it and she couldn't
find the cilantro code. I've never mentally connected so much
with a stranger before, because I knew exactly what was going on in her head.
She was trying to quickly find the code because she didn't want to feel like she
was taking up time by being slow, but in the stress of trying to quickly find the
cilantro, her brain was getting frantic which made her gradually start
internally freaking out even more, because she felt like she was taking way
too much time trying to find the code. Repeat cycle getting more and more
intense every time and maybe after a minute of her trying to find the code,
she just silently put the cilantro in the bag. She gave me free cilantro out of
panic. It was a good day. Also, did you know there's a website dedicated to
hating cilantro. www.IHateCilantro.com they write haikus. Stressing about a
closed deadline is kind of relaxing in a sociopathic kind of way. We've all done
it, you procrastinated a bunch on a project and are in the phase of crap.
because it's due tomorrow and it's already 10:45 p.m. and you've only got
like zero percent done. But if you think about it, it's
kind of nice to see it as, well I'm totally stressed and panicked out of my
mind right now and would rather just self implode, but this feeling is only
going to last for a few more hours, since the deadline's so close. If you didn't wait
until the last minute it would have been a less intense but drawn-out feeling of
dread while working, versus this approach which even though is ten times more
mentally and emotionally draining and likely very bad for your health, only has
to last for like one day maybe even 12 hours if you really push it. So pick your
battles but don't say I told you which one to choose, I'm not responsible for
any crummy projects you haphazardly spit out, that's still you. My parent's house
had really big windows in the living room, and sometimes birds would fly into
them. Most often hummingbirds. When everyone did, I would go outside to where
it landed and if it didn't die from slamming headfirst into a window, I would
pick it up and help it calm down and recover from being stunned. A lot of
people would probably say not to do that, because it's a wild bird that can have
wild bird diseases, and they're probably right but imagine if you did that with
humans, some kid is outside running around they blindly run right into a
tree and collapse on the ground, you run over to help them and when you get to
them you go "uh... sorry kid you've got a cold, can't help you out buddy."
Also are you envious that I've gotten to hold a hummingbird before. One even
fluttered around me when it recovered I'm a bird master. Like I said in the
beginning, I was jotting all these down over a relatively long period of time so
I didn't just write all these in one go, and after I'm looking at the list I made
I realized I wrote half popped popcorn two separate times at different
occasions. I guess past Jaiden just felt extremely
compelled to talk about half popped popcorn.
It is really good though (OH YES). Why do
kids on the internet feel the need to tell their age so frequently? You see it
all the time. "I'm 13! I'm 6! I am 2!" Is there a reason they do it, do they think
it's vital information they need to convey. Whenever I see a comment that
starts with "I'm 9 and-" my brain kind of automatically writes off whatever
they're about to complain about. I'm not saying people these ages don't say
anything valuable to me I really enjoy seeing "I'm 6 and really
like your video! :)" because then it feels like that message was written with full
child pureness. You know the kind, there's still innocent beings that haven't
experienced the cruelness of reality yet. But any other time, it's just a detail
that adds nothing else to their statement. One time I got an email that said "I love
your vids, I'm seven." So I responded with "thanks! I'm 19 ;D"
Do they feel like they're obligated to express their age, do they think they're
asserting dominance, is it an accomplishment to them? More mysteries I
have yet to find out. I'm not going to lie, Ugh, I won't lie this is definitely, err, no.
This video was really fun to make, it was so different and experimental and all
over the place. I don't know, I just had so much fun making it. I was thinking
about doing a video like this for a while, just like little random topics
that aren't enough to make an entire video about on their own. I haven't seen
anyone else do this kind of thing before either, I could be wrong maybe there's
like hundreds of people who already made videos like this before and I'm not
being creative at all. If so then okay whatever. Again it was pretty
experimental, and just I don't know I kind of like the chaos and
unpredictability of it. If you liked this format, I am totally down to make another
one sometime, but if you're like wow Jaiden 'this was the suckiest video that ever
sucked' then, I probably won't make another. that wouldn't be a smart move on
my part. Well I had fun and that's all that matters. Also see you at VidCon