Haagen-Dazs ice-cream improved breakfast.
Let's talk about that.
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"Ear Biscuits,"
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- Yes. - Audio first.
Then next Saturday, video.
Now, on to today--
I'm going to be ranting about sports.
We'll be trying to get on the level of the guy
who said "Gucci Gang" a million times for charity.
Uh-huh, but before we get into all that,
we got one of those "not really a holiday,
but everybody needs to have some kind of holiday now"
kind of holidays coming up.
Right, I'm familiar with those.
That's right. This Saturday
- is Ice Cream For Breakfast Day? - Mm-hm.
- And you know what? We're not monsters. - No.
We can appreciate something as glorious
as ice cream for breakfast,
so to celebrate, we would like to ask...
Now, ice cream always has a knack for
for making me happy,
but what we're going to do
is we're going to be à la moding
a variety of dishes to see what the upper limit
of ice cream's power to make me happy, and you happy, is,
and we have at our disposal
the Neapolitan assortment of ice cream here
to add to our dishes.
We can choose each one as we see fit.
Okay, so, first, since it's Ice Cream For Breakfast Day,
we need to pay homage
with a morning food right up top.
Brunch is my favorite combo meal
besides "dessertner" and "snunch."
And the most classic brunch classic
is eggs Benedict.
Eggs Benedict.
Is this the most classic?
Not for me, it's not.
Never had this.
You've never had eggs Benedict?
Listen, because--
What are you afraid of?
The non-scrambled egg.
I don't know what kind of egg that is.
You've been missing out on so many egg varieties.
This is soft po-- it's a poached egg.
It's like a chicken just squatted down on it and ( makes pop sound ) an egg.
It's got the chicken juice in it.
And then I'm just supposed to eat it.
I want it to be prepared.
Oh, you want it a particular way?
Oh, surprise, surprise.
You want me to not want it a particular way?
Surprise squared.
Okay, I 'm going to put ice cream on this.
But, see, this is good for me.
'Cause that's what we're supposed to be doing.
When you love something,
it's going to be hard for ice cream to make it better.
For me, I might be turned on to this.
- You gotta get the yolk. - Not in a sexual way.
You gotta get the yolk juice.
Because otherwise you're not really doing a test.
I'm doing vanilla
because I feel like that is--
See, that's just alien to me.
You're going vanilla?
Just a less cooked egg.
It's not an alien egg.
I'm going to start with vanilla, too,
because...
Oh, gosh, I need a knife for this.
...it blends in with the egg,
and I don't wanna know where one starts and one ends.
We call this one "ice cream-adict."
What?
Sounds almost inappropriate,
but it's just ice cream and Benedict put together.
Sounds like ice cream addict.
Ice cream addict.
Okay, I'm getting every part of it.
I'm not being shy here.
Actually, that's not a very runny egg, man.
That's just a-- That's not even--
That's not going to be hard to deal with.
Dink it.
- Mm. - ( grunts )
I like all these flavors.
I don't know how the ham and the ice cream are mixing, though.
What? Wha--
I just need to talk, and I can't get it down.
Well, another way to do that is just to chew it and swallow it.
I cannot put my teeth on ice cream.
I have to gum it and tongue it,
and I can't teeth it.
Because my teeth are so sensitive.
It's going to be a long day.
So, ironically, the worst part of this dish was the ice cream
'cause I was trying to bite into it.
You're alone on this one. Did it make it better?
Uh, you know what?
It's actually surprisingly palatable,
and I feel like this could be something that could be served
in a hipster joint and people would be like,
"Have you had the ice cream-adict?"
And everybody would be excited about it,
but does it make it better than eggs Benedict?
I don't think so.
Before us we have pho.
And I typically think of this as a lunch or dinner thing,
but in Vietnam they do consider it a breakfast dish traditionally.
So we're still in breakfast mode.
Now, I absolutely love pho,
and enjoy it quite often,
but it just hit me when it pulled up here,
it has a little bit of a B.O. thing.
Sometimes you run into a person that smells like this.
- It smells good, but-- - You like that, huh?
- Yeah. It is a ripeness. - I do like it.
When I recognize it as a food,
I'm enticed.
When I recognize it as a person, I'm not enticed.
Now, I'm going with strawberry, and I have hope for this
because I'm going to melt the ice cream
so I don't have to bite it.
I'm going where the white ice cream... ( laughing )
( mutters )
Buddy system. I'm rubbing off on you.
Because I feel like it's not going to pollute it that much.
- This right here-- - Ooh, it makes it creamy.
This looks like something else.
It's like pho for kids.
It's also changing the temperature.
- Yes. - It's making it lukewarm.
Meeting in the middle. Again, for kids.
You know, if Lando burns his tongue...
They're always complaining about stuff.
...I hear about it for two days.
Yeah, they remind me of somebody.
I got high hopes for this one,
and I've got my chopsticks poised.
Shdink.
And then-- you see, I've got that strawberry right on there.
Now, pho is very good.
It's still really good.
Again, does ice cream make it better?
It makes it creamier.
It makes it creamier. It's like giving you a hint of dessert.
I don't know how strawberry's tasting,
but vanilla just tastes like you've added cream to it,
and it's just a different dish.
It's almost like when you get one of those dishes that's got coconut milk in it.
So, I think we're both saying this is pretty great, right?
Yeah, and it's not quite as hot, so I didn't burn my tongue.
Go to pho, and bring some ice cream, y'all.
Is it better with ice cream?
( together )
Time to move on from breakfast,
and, now, there ain't nothing
you wanna add some cold, surgery creaminess to more
than some hot, cured beef and sauerkraut, right?
Doesn't that sound appetizing?
Uh, we got a Reuben here.
Now, I will say, some of you may be like,
"Why are you eating so much lactose, man?
I thought you were lactose intolerant?"
I don't think I'm lactose intolerant.
I think I have a sensitivity,
and I think this show has caused me
to be less sensitive to it.
I think it affects my skin
if I keep doing it day after day.
So don't be alarmed.
I'm going with chocolate because--
I'm going with vanilla again.
Sorry, I'm being boring today.
I feel like it's the best test.
A Reuben is-- it's very rich.
And so you want to add to that richness with some chocolate.
I'm getting it right in there.
I'm not going to miss ice cream in a bite of this thing.
Oh, I got a lot too because I think I'ma be able to bite this
because of the bread sheath.
Bread sheath.
We call this one Reuben and Jerry's.
( mock laughter )
There's a lot of ice cream there.
Okay.
- Kiss it. - I don't wanna get your chocolate.
- Sorry. - Oh, you don't?
I'll go backsides.
Okay.
Do I have any on my face?
The chocolate went away very quick.
So it's like, ooh, gotta...
I got a runniness.
Um, did you taste the ice cream and then it went away
and then you're left with Reuben?
It's like having your dessert,
but then right before your sandwich.
How subtle ice cream is
as an additive.
- Mm-hm. - It's not like a peanut butter situation
that completely changes--
it doesn't even change the flavor profile.
And chocolate is a lot more overwhelming than vanilla,
but it still doesn't overwhelm
the cabbage and the meatiness,
whatever meat that is, pastrami?
Well, that's not really the test, right?
Is it better than a Reuben?
I want my Reuben to be hot.
But it's balanced, and it's different.
But when I go to a place,
and I go to places a lot--
You have a place problem.
...and I get a hot sandwich--
Hot pastrami! Hot Reuben!
And then, it's cold on the inside?
I could do the stare to the chef,
right through to the back
Never direct it at the waiter. Come on, guys.
The waiter's just the messenger.
Just look right into the kitchen.
But as a novelty, one in every five,
I like it.
- Really? - Yeah.
I'm saying it makes it just as good
and different, which isn't better.
It's still very good,
so I'm willing to go there.
Is it better with ice cream?
-
Ice cream sweet, jelly sweet, so far so good,
but what if we added eel to the party?
Of course.
This is called jellied eel.
What is going on?
There's a world that we live in
where people eat jellied eel,
blue river eel.
This is not the blue river eel, right?
Stevie:
Right, this is an ancestor of the blue river eel.
I can even say it, "bluh river ale."
It has natural jelly in its spine
that comes out when you cook it,
which sounds so appetizing.
I'm going to go with chocolate
'cause I just feel like it doesn't matter.
- It doesn't matter what the choice is. - Oh, it matters.
It definitely matters.
I'm going with chocolate and vanilla.
- and I'm just... - I would do this as a child.
I would just clean out the chocolate and the strawberry side,
and leave the vanilla for my brother.
I mean, again, it's like this may be the only way to enjoy jellied eel.
I don't know if we're gonna enjoy it.
She also said there's bones in them there eels.
Chocolate-vanilla jellied eel.
Gah.
I can see that bone. Look at that.
Uh, it's like a fin.
- There's so many bones. - It's not fish.
Eel is not a fish?
- Stevie:
You still got bones hanging out.
I know I'm going to just try to keep the bones with my fingers.
Oh, gosh!
Stevie:
I'm sorry.
How would you go about eating this?
Even if you wanted to?
It's so boney.
What in the world, eels?
Why you got so many bones?
Why you gotta have bones?
I'll tell you one thing right off the top.
Without doubt, ice cream makes it better.
- I mean... - ( gags )
Because it is horrible.
Anything else would make it-- oh, gosh.
Well, it's not that bad.
Uh, pretty great.
No, it's awful, but the ice cream part is really nice.
Yeah, the ice cream part was really good.
And then I got to the eel part...
Did it make it better?
( together )
And now we come to the round
where we're going to put ice cream on things that we don't like,
and because Link is so picky,
he's going to be eating something normal and delicious,
where I'm going to be eating something horrifying.
I've got olives,
which are not normal and delicious.
They're briny and an abomination to the mouth.
A large percentage of the world disagrees with you.
And I've got blood pudding,
and I realize there are people who like this,
but I'm not one of them.
I do think that just making it into a sausage form
is going to take the edge off a little bit.
What is that?
But I think I'm going to put--
It doesn't smell horrible.
It looks like some kind of currency.
- Blood coin. - Yeah.
Invest in it today.
I'm going to just put chocolate in there
'cause it's close to the color already.
Maybe I won't notice them.
It'll just look like chocolate ice cream
with big chocolate chips in it.
I'm going all the way-- Neapolitan.
I just wanna...
You making a tapenade?
I don't know if I wanna put a whole olive in my mouth,
so I'd rather just mix it up.
I don't wanna put a whole olive in my mouth.
That could be real bad.
I call this one "Sundae, Bloody Sundae."
I call this one "The Briny Queen."
- Like Dairy Queen with... - Oh, okay.
♪ Sundae, Bloody Sundae ♪
All right, I can't dink these because I don't wanna--
I don't wanna pollute your olives with my blood sausage.
Oh, gosh.
I'm doing it.
I'm gonna get two olives on here.
( gags )
( garbled ) What, I'm sorry, man. It's horrible.
I'm eating blood sausage right now.
I need more ice cream.
I'm still tasting chocolate.
Okay, now I'm starting to get something else.
Gotta say...
this is more than tolerable.
No, this is tolerable.
I don't want to get out of hand.
What is it about the beautiful olive that's such a problem?
Oh, God... ( garbled )
I can't enjoy it.
I'll take one.
If I can get these olives down,
that definitely means ice cream makes it better.
It's beautiful in every way. I don't understand not liking it.
I can understand not having a preference for it,
but hating it?
Reacting like this?
There's no good explanation for that.
Okay, I got it down.
Thanks for being here for me, Rhett.
And supporting me.
I gotta say, without a doubt,
ice cream made blood sausage better.
Link:
- Rhett:
Click on through because there's a lot
I need to get off my chest about sports.
Link:
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