Joe Biden's inauguration did not look like a typical one.
Partly because of the pandemic,
partly because the National Guard was protecting him
from the previous president.
But what does a typical Inauguration Day look like?
Well, actually, there really isn't one.
To find out why, it's time for another episode of
"If You Don't Know, Now You Know."
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The first thing to understand about Inauguration Day is
that there's no reason it has to be a full day.
There's only one thing that really has to happen,
and it takes about two minutes as long as nothing goes wrong.
NEWSWOMAN: There are speeches...
...what your country must do...
-NEWSOMAN: ...parades and balls. -? Yesterday's gone ?
? Yesterday's gone..."
But according to the U.S Constitution,
the only requirement is for the president to take the oath.
An entire government hands over baton to the next government.
It does not happen until the words of the oath are uttered.
And the words matter.
You have to say the words correctly.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Barack Obama had to take
the oath of office twice in 2009.
That's because Chief Justice John Roberts misspoke,
and one word was out of sequence.
That I will execute the office
of president to the United States faithfully.
That I will execute...
...the off... Faithfully, the pres...
the office of president of the United States.
...the office of president of United States faithfully.
NEWSMAN 2: Immediately, people called it a botched oath.
Some people even questioned,
is President Obama a real president?
Oh, man. Did you see Obama's face?
He was so pissed, and I would be, too.
Imagine spending two years campaigning
all over the country, and then,
the guy giving you the oath is like,
"Do you swear to uphold the dong-stitution?
"I mean the Constitution? Whoops.
"(laughing): Oh, man. Well, sorry.
Let's try it again in four years."
You can see Obama's eyes.
You can see in his eyes, he's thinking,
"Really, asshole, I didn't move
all the way from Kenya to have you screw this up now."
And honestly, I kind of agree.
I mean, damn, I know it's an oath,
but you're not allowed to say one word wrong?
You're becoming a president, not summoning a dragon.
I bet Trump didn't know about this one, because if he had,
he definitely would have gone to Biden's inauguration
just so he could mess things up.
"I, Joseph R. Biden..." "Fart."
"...do solemnly... swear to..." "Fart! Fart."
"Fart, Fart, Fart." "Come on, man."
Now because the oath is required,
it's the same for every president.
But the inaugural speech is where
each individual president gets to tell you who they are.
DAN RATHER: Presidents use their inaugural addresses
to try and set the tone
and lay out the themes for the next four years.
ALLAN LICHTMAN: It's a great opportunity
to make a great speech and encapsulate his vision
in a few telling lines.
The only thing we have to fear is... fear itself.
Ask not what your country can do for you.
Ask what you can do for your country.
NEWSMAN: The shortest inaugural speech, a mere 135 words,
was delivered by George Washington
at his second swearing in.
The longest, William Henry Harrison's,
which ran on for two hours on a cold March day.
NEWSMAN 2: Harrison died of pneumonia 31 days later.
Now Harrison didn't get pneumonia
because he gave a speech in the cold three weeks earlier,
but it was still a huge mistake
because he was only president for 31 days,
and he wasted the first two hours.
I mean, he could have been like, "No speech.
I got to enjoy this while it lasts,"
and then went and spent the whole day
just running around the White House in his underwear,
because with a two-hour speech, you know he had a ton of plans.
And then in year two, we're gonna fix the railways
and add some more states.
And then, year three. Oh, boy.
Year three is gonna be my favorite year yet!
But you know what surprises me is George Washington.
135 words is not the length of a presidential speech.
That's more like a college student that forgot
that he had an essay due that day.
On the other hand, 135 words is a lot
when you have wooden teeth.
Ladies and gentlemen, I shall-- aw, shit, a splinter.
All right, I'm out, I'm out, I'm out. Aw.
Now, once the speech is out of the way,
the fun parts of Inauguration Day begin.
The balls, the concerts, the parades.
It's basically My Super Sweet 16 for men in their 70s.
But like any big party, there's always the chance
that something will go horribly wrong.
NEWSWOMAN: Inaugurations follow a very prescribed order,
and while most inaugurations have been conducted
with decorum, some have had their mishaps.
Vice President Andrew Johnson had too much to drink
the night before Abraham Lincoln's second inauguration.
Johnson delivered a speech the next day,
still drunk, embarrassing the president.
An electrical short caused John F. Kennedy's podium
to catch fire, as Cardinal Richard Cushing
gave the invocation at his inauguration.
NEWSMAN: In 1873, Ulysses S. Grant
was being inaugurated, and it was very cold.
So, what happened is that the champagne turned into slushies,
and they had all these canaries brought in to sing
as background noise, and they all froze to death.
Andrew Jackson's 1829 bash was the rowdiest.
20,000 Jackson supporters stormed the White House,
pulling down the curtains, walking on the furniture,
causing massive damage.
The new president reportedly escaped the crush
through a window.
Goddamn! People think Trump caused chaos--
imagine if his presidency started with a riot.
But hey, man, say what you want about Andrew Jackson,
that dude could throw a party.
I mean, you know a party's hard-core
when the host is like, "If I don't get out of here,
I'm gonna die."
It's funny, because we think of all these historical figures
as being so proper and respectable,
but damn, those parties were baller.
I mean, I've been to some crazy parties,
but I've never been to a party that got "frozen canary" crazy.
Although, I think frozen canaries on the floor
can really kill the mood at any party.
Hey, what's up, girl?
I couldn't help but notice you standing here by yourself,
-(crunching) -and I just-- Oh, God.
Shit, I just stepped on... Oh, I stepped on...
(sobbing): Oh, man... oh, no...
I felt its bones!
(sobbing)
So, you got a man? Or what?
Now, a lot of the talk this year is about how President Trump
broke tradition by refusing to show up
for Joe Biden's big day.
Which clearly was a sign of respect.
I mean, if there's one thing Donald Trump
would never want to do, is draw attention to himself
at somebody else's party.
But the truth is that 2021 isn't the first Inauguration Day
to feature tension between the new president
and the outgoing one.
NEWSWOMAN: Since Martin Van Buren and Andrew Jackson
traveled by carriage in 1837,
it's become tradition for the president
to escort the president-elect from the White House
to the Capitol for the swearing-in ceremony.
Historically, some transitions have been, well, ugly.
NEWSMAN: Ulysses S. Grant declined
to give Andrew Johnson the ride to the Capitol,
and so Johnson declined to attend the inauguration.
1953, Dwight Eisenhower rolled up at the White House
to pick up Harry Truman.
The Trumans were inside with coffee ready.
Someone came in and said to Truman,
"Eisenhower won't get out of his car.
He won't come in and have coffee with you."
The 1933 inauguration of FDR,
Hoover wouldn't look at or even speak to Roosevelt
on the car ride over to the swearing-in.
Ooh...
That looked so awkward.
Hoover was acting like he was in an Uber pool.
Look, man, I'm just trying to save three bucks.
I'm not here to make a friend.
And to be honest,
I actually understand where they're coming from.
'Cause look, I get that it's important
to concede when you lose, but it does feel a little bit
like it's rubbing it in to make you give the guy who beat you
a ride to the inauguration.
That never happens in any other situation.
When you get divorced, you're not expected
to drive your ex to their next wedding.
So I can see why some presidents get a little petty.
And honestly, I think they could have done worse.
I mean, if Trump wanted to be really petty,
he wouldn't have skipped town,
he would have offered to drive Biden
and then show up on a motorcycle.
Sorry, Biden, you got to ride bitch...
bitch.
So, that's the big public event of Inauguration Day.
But there is one final tradition that takes place in private,
when the new president sits down in the Oval Office
for the first time and finds a special note on their desk.
NEWSWOMAN: There is a tradition where the president
leaves a letter for the incoming president,
and he leaves it in the desk,
and it is that private connection
between the two of them who are now both officially
in what is known as "The Presidents Club."
NEWSMAN: That's another very new tradition,
goes back to Ronald Reagan, who left a letter
for his vice president, George H.W. Bush,
that said at the top: "Don't let the turkeys get you down."
After George H.W. Bush lost his reelection fight
to Bill Clinton, the sitting president penned a letter
to his opponent saying, in part...
NEWSWOMAN: The letter former president, Obama,
left for President Trump-- in part, President Obama wrote...
(laughs)
Wow, guys. Trump really changed the game on everything.
Because before him, all the presidents would leave
little encouraging notes, you know? "You got this, champ."
"All of America's rooting for you."
But Obama's letter to Trump was trying to teach Trump
about America.
(like Obama): Okay, real quick.
There's a thing called democracy.
Uh, you've got the rule of law...
But this is actually one tradition that Donald Trump
did continue.
And, in fact, we actually got our hands
on Trump's actual outgoing letter to Joe Biden
from our White House insiders.
Oh, man, I'm gonna miss that guy.
So there you have it--
the American presidential inauguration.
Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's awkward,
but even after a month like this one,
it always happens.
And if you don't know, now you know.