- R. Kelly should have been canceled.
- Wasn't he in like Korea where he was like,
who wants to come back to the states with Kelly?
- No that was Ethiopia, yes.
- Ethiopia, he's literally singing
about getting them passports and visas.
♪ Who filled out their paper work ♪
(laughing)
♪ Meet me backstage ♪
♪ I was born on the South Side, South Side ♪
♪ I was raised on the South Side, South Side ♪
♪ Everybody stood together like we in the life ♪
♪ Cause there ain't no side like South Side ♪
- All right, welcome to another episode
of Cooler By the Lake.
- Yeah!
- Yeah. (clapping)
The show where we talk all things South Side
and we ask important questions,
like if R. Kelly could fly, would he start kidnapping birds?
I say yes. (laughing)
- Definitely the baby birds. (laughing)
- Bring all the vultures to me.
(laughing)
- He might get them in the egg.
(laughing)
I am Will Miles, one of your hosts.
- And I'm Langston Kerman, and today we are joined
by two very special guests, writers, stars
of the show "South Side", Chandra and Sultan.
Give it up for them.
- Yeah!
(clapping) - Thank you.
Thank you guys for having us.
- Thank you for joining us.
And in tonight's very special episode of "South Side"
you just saw it, we know you saw it.
We see what happens when a little girl goes missing
and the whole city goes in panic.
- Man they're out here snatching kids everyday.
Left and right, up and down, in and out.
They snatching them up off school buses.
Look! There go one right there-
we don't even know if that's his baby. Hey!
- Question we want to ask you guys,
the big important question-
- Very important question.
- Is do you answer those Amber Alerts?
- Well, when you say answer, you mean like do I call back
and say "Hey, I just seen the dude?"
or "I ain't seen him?" Like-
- Do you even acknowledge it? - Do you go looking for?
- I look.
I look, I look at what type of car it is, but I mean,
I'm not about to memorize that license plate.
- Sure.
- Yeah.
- Cause my memory does not set up like that.
(laughing)
- I look, you know.
And if I see something suspect, I will-
- Yeah.
- You know, address it.
- I like that you're blaming education on why you-
(laughing)
- I'm a public school graduate.
- Yes.
- There it is schools, there we go (laughing)
- I was going to say I look as well
but I quickly go back to my music.
- Yeah - Yeah
- The olds of me solving that crime
or saving someone's life are like zilch to nothing so...
- Yeah - Yeah
- Good luck to you Amber Alert person
- This is so sad (laughing)
- Some of them are like eighty.
- Wait there's eighty year olds that get.
- There's older Amber Alerts
- My grandfather's missing! Oh wow.
- Yeah.
- I thought it was specific to children
- I thought so too
- I assumed it was.
- Is Amber not a child?
- I think Amber was the first child that went missing
and now we got to call it Amber Alert
'cause it's like they...
- The first one to use that system
- Oh I'm not looking out for no eighty year old.
(laughing)
- I'm just say, I got one.
- I'm just saying, if you get kidnapped
and you eighty you just kidnapped.
(laughing)
- Langston's hatred for the elderly is
- Clear - Strong
- I got a passion.
Do you guys think that heartfelt stories,
we're talking about the sad stories
and beatings and shit.
Do you think heartfelt stories have the potential
to go viral any more?
- Oh my God, yes.
- Okay - What (laughing)
- Yes - So excited
- It's my favorite thing that went viral.
It's this little boy
and I really don't know what town he is in
and I wish I did, but like,
his mom was driving to work
and she hit a pot hole, like,
and her tire blew out.
And so and then this little boy,
he's so cute, he just starting taking dirt
and filling up all the pot holes
in his area on his one because
he didn't want that to happen to anybody else.
I was like, some people are just born good, like,
most of us are born assholes
but there are just some people...
- Wouldn't have been me
(laughing) - I know
- Ida been like, guess we ain't taking that street.
(laughing)
- You better call Domino's, they fixing streets now
(laughing)
- Let me talk to you son, let me tell you about life.
We don't do that
- Let's drive down that way and get two pizzas
(laughing)
- I think heartfelt stories,
making through becoming viral, uh,
I see stupidity becoming viral all the time,
I just don't think...
- Sure
- I mean, unless it's something extreme, like,
there's a guy who's just like,
in a middle of a river, saving small animals, and just
chucking them. You know, just throwing them to the side,
other than that, or maybe a baby.
But other than that, um,
I just see nothing but shear stupidity
and it's funny and I enjoy it.
- Why do you think that is?
Is it just too much stuff now for us to care?
What's the problem here?
- I don't know, maybe people just don't want to feel good,
I don't know. I don't know what you all be...
(laughing)
- I think it's easier to laugh at someone else's misfortune.
And make you feel better about yourself
then it is to feel bad about yourself
because someone else is better than you.
So it's easier to look at the negative
and be like, ahhh, you're life's shitty.
- I do pass shit like that to like, look up like,
little white kid that goes "See I got time (beep)."
(laughing)
- Thank you, thank you
- I think it's preference, I think it's preference,
you know, for how you cultivate your feed
because my shit is cute, you know...
- Is it?
- Yes! It's people saving animals and you know,
I like to keep it positive.
- I will say my Instagram is mostly just, uh,
thick ladies and whale videos.
- That's why I don't look at men's phones,
I don't play men's feed
because that's too many ass and titties.
It's exhausting.
- I like whales, I like thick ladies.
- But what happened to all those kids on milk carton,
ya know?
- They grew up, they grew up to be adults
who put other kids on milk cartons.
(laughing)
- Meaning, they're the reasons new kids are, ah, I get it.
- Trauma creates trauma. They say it in therapy.
- Hurt people hurt people.
- Hurt people hurt people. Yeah.
- I feel like there was like,
a kid in my neighborhood who was on the milk carton
but the fact that I don't remember is bad.
- Yeah. - Problematic.
- Yeah it's not good. It's not a good reflection of...
- They left the milk cartons and now they're on Amber Alert.
See that's the problem. - Yeah, sure.
- We can no longer and who drinks milk anyway?
- Nobody drinks like, regular milk no more
- On almond milk, coconut milk, oat milks.
- Some of those minute maids.
Put it on, uh, Simply Orange.
- Yeah
- Put it on a Simply Orange and I'll find kid
- Put a sad baby on a Simply Orange.
- Put it on a pack of Now and Laters
We'll find them. (laughing)
Boston Bake Bean pictures and shit.
- They didn't figure this out earlier
but if you put kids on Flaming Hot Cheetos bags...
- Oh my God! They're inside the bag.
(laughing)
- But then you get the red on their faces
- Crying blood. - Looks like they got murdered
(laughing)
- You don't want that.
(laughing) - That's dark.
- Pain from the little baby's face.
- That's how we're going to end this one.
Thank you guys for coming.
- We did it. One more time for Chandra and Sultan.
- Thank you guys for having us.
(clapping)
- I've been Will Miles
- I've been Langston Kerman
- Good night
- Good-bye my loves
(laughing)
Forever and always, we'll be with you. See you next week.
♪ I was born on the South Side, South Side ♪
♪ I was raised on the South Side, South Side ♪
♪ Everybody stood together like we in the life ♪
♪ Cause there ain't no side like South Side. ♪