- Diamonds can cut glass.
Just think about that for a second,
and where you gotta put that in.
Today, we're gonna laugh,
because someone told me that SNL has done
a lot of comedy sketches about direct-to-consumer
pharmaceutical advertising.
If you don't know what DTCPA is,
it's something that absolutely drives me crazy,
because there's only two countries in the world,
the U.S. and New Zealand,
that allow direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical advertising.
Patients come in asking, requesting for these medications
at times when they don't need them.
And sometimes they get quite upset
cause they think they need them.
Anyways, let's have a good laugh
and check out some of these sketches.
Pew!
- [Deep Voice] When you get older,
your body produces a lot less testosterone,
and that affects everything that makes you feel like a man.
And you know she can tell.
But before you face a full on vitality crisis,
you find a testosterone boosting supplement on TV.
- But wait, there's more,
we have a testosterone supplement that will
solve everything that ails you.
I feel like these commercials all take the same exact route
and SNL is already nailing it from the start.
- [Deep Voice] You know it's effective
because it's in a giant black canister,
and endorsed by the strongest retired athlete money can buy.
And before you know it,
you're a brand new man.
- You know what's funny?
They always do that.
First of all, there's a celebrity endorser,
not so quite out of their prime, but still looking decent.
They're like, "Look, they're taking it."
They're obviously not. And second,
they always show the better version of you.
They take a person and they make them look tired.
You put makeup on them.
And then they come in with Oakley shades
and a tight t-shirt.
And it's like, your testosterone is back.
By the way too much testosterone is a problem too.
- You did it Haas. You're a man again.
Only one problem.
You've turned into a full psycho.
Look at yourself, man.
You're wearing skin tight muscle shirts to work now?
You're in your mid fifties with a jet black goatee.
- What's hilarious about this is
one of the biggest issues with people taking
Bioidentical Hormone Replacement, testosterone,
men who are over the age of 50 start getting testosterone
levels back from when they were 30,
they all of a sudden think that they can push harder--
- [Man] Step aside, string bean.
- And they end up tearing their biceps, their pecs,
cause their muscles just aren't quite ready
to handle all that weight.
- [Deep Voice] All that extra testosterone
has made you an aggressive, alpha nightmare.
That's why you need Beta Force,
the only supplement that can counteract and undo
all that other junk you've been taking.
So you can be a regular middle aged man again.
- The claims, the celebrity endorser,
feeling like a macho man alpha male,
and then getting a little beta in there.
It's like exactly everything you knew
that was wrong with these commercials,
SNL was like Salt Bae.
- [Woman's Voice] What if you could have your period
just once a year?
- My period, once a year?
- Once a year? I'd like that.
- [Woman's Voice] New Annuale extends the time
between your period by 11 months.
Each Annuale pack has 44 weeks of active pills,
instead of the usual three,
keeping you on a constant stream of hormones,
so your time of the month can be just once a year.
And when it is time for your period, hold on to your cat.
(screaming and crashing)
(audience laughs)
- Oh I love Tina Fey.
(moaning and screaming continue)
- Hey, I do that with Bear.
Oh, not that.
- [Woman's Voice] Do not take
if you are using MAOI inhibitors
or if your occupation requires you
to operate heavy machinery.
Do not take Annuale if you plan to ever become pregnant,
as it may turn your baby into a fire monster.
In the days of around your period,
you may develop a leathery tail.
Annuale may cause you to develop a second vagina.
(audience laughs)
- [Woman's Voice] --when your period is imminent,
as they may want to incarcerate you preemptively
like a movement.
- All pharma commercials have to give this
intense list of things that can go wrong with you.
And it's always like,
"How in the world am I supposed to read all that fine print
and hear it and comprehend what I'm saying?"
It literally says like, "Are you tired?
Are you doing this?
But also you could turn into a wolf-man, and a monster
and a baby, and a--"
And it's like, Whoa, what just happened?
- [Woman] For years, I suffered from vertigo.
- Out of nowhere I'd feel dizzy, disoriented,
even nauseous.
- Dramamine helped my flashes subside.
And I hadn't had a flare up in years.
- Years.
- They're talking about symptoms,
and it could be for any illness ever.
So you listen, you're like,
"Ooh, I've had that."
Just so that you relate to it.
And you're like, "I want it."
- [Woman] And I heard this new song that I loved.
- [Man] I loved.
- I looked to see who it was,
and that's when the vertigo hit.
- [Woman] It was Taylor Swift.
- [Man 2] Taylor Swift.
- [Man] Taylor Swift.
The whole room started spinning.
- [Man 2] I felt nauseous.
I don't like Taylor Swift.
I know I don't.
- Yes you do. You frigging love her.
Hi, I'm neurologist, Dr. David Doctor.
Over the last one month, realizing you love Taylor Swift
has become the leading cause of vertigo in adults.
That's why now there's Swiftamine.
- That's a play on Dramamine.
It's an antihistamine medication
that also helps with motion sickness.
I know people who've gotten dizzy
off listening to Taylor Swift.
- [Man] You know, when I hit 50,
my body went through a big change and not for the better.
Severe erectile dysfunction shattered my confidence,
sent me into a depression and almost ruined my marriage.
And believe me, I tried everything.
But then a friend told me about Xentrex.
So I tried it, and it worked.
- [Woman's Voice] Xentrex is the strongest
male enhancement drug on the market.
It increases blood flow, boosts testosterone,
and ends erectile dysfunction instantly.
- So I asked my doctor about Xentrex,
and he said, "Xentrex? what the hell is Xentrex?"
And I said "Xentrex. It's the strongest
male enhancement drug in the world, and it works."
And he said he'd never heard of it.
So I pulled up the Xentrex website and showed it to him.
He started laughing. He said, "Are you insane, man?
You can't put that junk into your body. It'll kill you.
Your heart will stop. Rhino horn.
Ammonia hydroxide? that's what's in meth, right?"
"Just write me a script for Xentrex
and I'll be on my way."
My doctor said, "Are you deaf, man?
No! I could lose my license. You could die."
I said, "Yeah, I think I still want it though,
so give it to me. Write the prescription."
- Patients do come in asking for pharmaceuticals
by brand name because of commercials like this.
In fact, one of the biggest problems is doctors are afraid
that if they don't write the prescription,
the patient will leave them a bad review,
and hurt their business.
That's like the huge problem with medical review websites.
Guess what? If a patient writes a negative one,
a doctor can't comment on it because of patient privacy.
Even if it's a complete lie.
- [Woman's Voice] Chantix presents,
Real stories, real people.
- I'm Kelly and I quit smoking with Chantix.
- [Woman's Voice] Kelly is a real Chantix user.
She is not an actress.
- Well, actually it's funny you say that
because you know, I, I used to be an actress.
- [Woman's Voice] But she's not anymore.
She's just here to give a testimonial.
- All ri-- All right.
- I really wonder, every time I see a pharma ad now,
are these true actors and actresses,
or is this a complete scam in front of my eyes?
They're saying it's a patient testimonial,
and it's exactly this.
Chantix is actually a legit medication we use
in our everyday practice to help people quit smoking.
When you come in, I say, "Are you smoking?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to quit? Let's talk about it."
And we can have that discussion.
And Chantix could be something that we may use.
It's not necessarily something you have to take
to quit smoking.
- I needed a birth control that could keep up
with my lifestyle.
- I wanted a birth control that takes a limo,
not the city bus.
- Cause I could deal with cramps,
but not something cramping my style.
- That's why we chose NuvaBling.
- That would be so painful and uncomfortable. Oh my God.
There's actually a birth control known as NuvaRing,
but it's smooth. It inserts easily, not rough diamonds.
Do you know that diamonds, I think,
are the sharpest known element.
Diamonds can cut glass. Just think about that for a second,
and where you gotta put that in.
- [Woman's Voice] NuvaBling is 70% effective
at preventing pregnancy and 100% effective
at getting dat swag on.
Plus, you can customize NuvaBling.
(laughs loudly)
- Oh my God.
The insertion process hurts me
and I'm not even the one gonna be using it.
- [Woman's Voice] Instead of throwing NuvaBling away
each month, you can reuse it as jewelry.
- Did you get those earrings at Tiffany's?
- Close. I got them from my vagina.
(audience laughs)
- [Man's Voice] Hold it.
Is that what you're having for breakfast?
- Sure. Haven't you heard?
Fiber is really good for you.
- [Man's Voice] Well, there's fiber
and then there's high fiber.
Try this.
- Hmm. Colon Blow.
Sounds delicious.
- Does it sound delicious?
Cause it sounds absolutely disgusting.
- [Man's Voice] Colon Blow and new Super Colon Blow.
Warning. May cause abdominal distension.
- That much fiber is not good for you.
It hurts my colon just thinking about it.
I'm not even the one gonna be using it.
Oh my God. In general, fiber is good to eat,
and that's why we like high fiber breakfast.
Cause it controls the absorption of sugar
in your bloodstream.
It helps you have better bowel movements.
And abdominal distension sounds like a minor issue
compared to what Colon Blow is actually doing.
Cause abdominal distension just means
you feel a little bit full and bloated.
You're gonna have a bigger problem with Colon Blow.
I have two videos for you to choose from.
Click here if you want to see
a hilarious medical meme review
or click here if you want to see me
laughing at onion headlines,
that are obviously medical related.
Which one you clicking on?
Stay happy and healthy.
(light music)