Captain's log Stardate 4307.1. First officer Spock
seems to be going to be going through Pon Far. Which is a period every 7 years where Vulcans
go into heat. It seems if they don't find a suitable mate during this
Pon Far! They can go mad or even die.
I'm going to have to start using that excuse on my dates.
Good one Jim!
Thank you Bones
Needless to say Spock is hornier than a three pecker Tribble on Prom Night.
and has requested R&R. Permission granted Spock.
Find a cave for that trouser snake before it's too late.
Ahhhh-firmitive girl, it's clear to me our bodies were made for reproduction.
so let me know begin with the act of sweet seduction
we are subject to extinction if we do not reproduce so sip on this earth potion
known as gin and juice
Did you know or nerves were stimulated by basic touch?
Yes, your hand is on my thigh and I enjoy that very much.
Allow me to apply the Vulcan grip of plessure
You know, they say Vulcans have little to no blood pressure
But my pulse is racing at approximately warp 4, in response to the knowledge
that I most likely will score.
you are clearly getting wild ready and ready for action in that regard you are not unlike
the captain. Just relax for tonight you are not my subordinate.
Mr Scott, beam some fine champagne to our coordinates
with every sip you take, your desire grows stronger. Like Mr. Scott says
I don't think she can TAKE it much longer!!
Together we will copulate so our species
can repopulate. Tonight I got my
phasers set for love
after that exceptional and technical night it is logical that you and I will be
mates for life.
oooh. this talk of forever comes as quite a surprise and they do not allow
girlfriends aboard the Enterprise
Like a Klingon after a meal I'm afraid I must depart.
While your at it reach through my side and rip out my heart.
that was a irrational I'm sorry that I yelled.
Let us forgo the talking and perform the mind meld.
your feelings are valid and I appreciate that
Oh 9:00 already? I must be getting back.
I have given you all that I can currently offer. So take care of
that life form. Live long and prosper.
He already forgot my name.
Now I must do the beam of shame.
First I'll shower then I'll get revenge.
Spock!
Spock, you've returned! You look calm and relaxed.
Don't keep us in suspense man, did you hit that?
Affirmative Captain, but it ended quite badly.
So often is the case with space relationships sadly. Women are a puzzle. Like the ancient Rubic Cube!
Not entirely dissimilar to the Kobayashi Maru
Yes! An unwinnable test! An impossible course!
That is why 40% of Vulcan marriages end in divorce
Is that a fact?
Affirmative captain.
That's a fat groove. Turn that up, Bones!
Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a DJ!
Bones is such a dick.
Spock I'm coming for you.
I'll be back in Part 2...