- [Interviewer] Cameron.
- Yes.
- [Interviewer] We're here in Fort McMurray
and you're homeless, tell me about it.
- Hmm, I've been homeless off and on for about
six or seven years, up here I've been homeless off and on
for approximately 15 years.
I started my journey of homelessness and social retardation
in Vancouver and brought it up to Fort McMurray,
and I've been struggling with
drug addiction and homelessness, for about, six, seven years
in Fort McMurray and I've had periodic jobs here and there,
off and on, nothing steady, as addiction goes,
your jobs go and everything goes,
and it's just the way it goes, you get stuck in a rut.
And in Fort McMurray there's not a lot of ways
or resources to get out of that hole
or rut you get stuck in.
There's just not the services, they don't offer it.
Whether it's treatment or whether it's anything,
accommodations, you know, they have one homeless shelter,
year-round homeless shelter for people to stay at,
and, you know, social services or anything does not
help you in any way for anything, you know,
that most provinces or places would help you with.
So I mean this town is extra hard to get out of a rut
when you get stuck in it.
- [Interviewer] Oh my gosh.
- Yeah, so I mean, it's not a town, it's a great town
if you're making money and doing the right thing
and you, you know, you've got the trade
but if you have any sort of struggle or any sort
of downside or anything going on in your life,
it's the worst town to be in.
I've never seen a town so, you know.
- [Interviewer] And you just told me that, you know,
we're actually next to an area where your girlfriend,
a dumpster, she fell asleep in it,
and they took it to the dump.
- Yeah, last year they came in the morning and dumped it
and I dunno whether they didn't hear her,
I know she didn't wake up 'cause she'd been up for a while
and she was on the nod, we'd done some Oxycontin
and proceeded to dump the body,
and they looked on the camera and you see me getting out,
but you don't see her getting out before
the garbage truck came and dumped her,
and as I said, once again, a show of the lack of whatever
that some people have towards homelessness
or drug addicts that they just didn't put
100% effort into finding the body
and giving her a place to rest, I mean,
that's no place for her to rest.
Her kids, there was no closure, there was no funeral,
there was nothing we could do, 'cause we didn't have
a body or anything to do it with, so I mean,
it leaves an open page where, you know,
you have no closure at all.
- [Interviewer] So you've been fighting drug abuse.
- Yeah, drug addiction, yeah.
- [Interviewer] Drug addiction.
And how, has healthcare helped you out at all or?
- Not really I mean, I have certain things
that I've acquired over the years of my addiction
that I can't get rid of, and once again,
that puts me in a different category
where there should be some sort of help in some way,
I mean I'm not asking for a hand out,
it's just the drugs I do are physically addicting
and unless I get off them or get on a maintenance program
which, that, once again, they don't offer up here,
then there's just, you know what I mean, there's no chance.
I need to get fixed up before I can do anything for the day,
otherwise I'll be sick and my day will last two hours
and I'll be so sick I won't even be able to move.
- [Interviewer] Sick.
People don't understand dope sick.
- No they don't they think, you know,
just pull up your socks and get through it.
That's fine if it's a mental addiction,
but what I do is physically addicting.
People say what's it like?
I say when you're dope sick, it's like the worst flu
you've ever had, multiplied times 10,
with diarrhea and vomiting, and that's the only way
they can come close to fathoming dope sickness,
and they don't understand, just pull up your socks,
grit your teeth and just do it,
well it's easier said than done, you know.
It's not mental, it's completely physical.
I'd love to stop doing it, but.
- [Interviewer] I always tell people, if I was dope sick
then I'm vulnerable and if I'm vulnerable and homeless
then I'm mugged.
- Yeah, exactly.
It's a vicious circle that, you know, there's no way
and once again you're in this town, I mean,
I'm from East Vancouver where 10 dollars will get you
feeling better and get you moving, up here,
80 dollars for a, they don't have, what I use, heroin,
in Vancouver, they have clinical heroin which is Oxycontin
and the cheapest you get one, it's 40,
it's a buck a milligram, so for me, even just to be able
to move and stop the sickness, it's 40 dollars,
and 80 dollars if I wanna get a buzz.
- [Interviewer] And people also don't understand
it takes over your life.
- No, exactly.
- [Interviewer] Cause you are not--
- I don't wanna do this, I'm 42 years old,
I want a life, there's still things I wanna do
that I haven't done, I mean, I don't enjoy this.
This is not enjoyable, I don't have one second,
I might have 15 minutes of enjoyment a day
and that's when I do my fix and I'm un-sick.
As pathetic and stupid as that sounds,
that's the only enjoyment I get out of life.
Sex doesn't excite me, nothing excites me
except getting money in my pocket and
getting my fix, that's the only thing that comes close
to happiness for me, you know,
as pathetic and hurting as it sounds, right?
- [Interviewer] So, what's your future like?
What are you trying to do to--
- Well, it's bleak if I don't get off it,
but once again, I'm going to, you know,
I'm going to have to go back to the west coast
where it's easier for you to get access services
that can get off because you can't,
even here, the detox will keep you for five to seven days,
and then they want you to hit the streets,
because treatment usually takes a month,
month and a half to get into,
and there's no safe place you can go
to stay off the dope for the six or eight weeks.
When you're in the mood that you want to get clean,
you want to keep it going,
you don't want to have these breaks,
and they want you to hit the streets for a month,
try and stay clean, until you get your treatment date,
and it's physically impossible,
and by the time your treatment date comes around,
you're already back into full-blown addiction
and the mindset of getting clean is gone.
You're right back to doing it,
so I mean, the only answer for me is
to go back to the west coast,
where social services and people will pay for you,
and you can stay in a safe place until
you've completed your treatment.
- [Interviewer] And then when you complete your treatment,
you just can't go back to homeless--
- Exactly, there's got to be resources after--
- [Interviewer] Because then you go back out
and drink and use, you know?
- Exactly, there's gotta be a safe place or resource
after the fact.
Before, in the middle, and after,
especially after, you need to be out of sight out of mind,
and you know, not be surrounded by people
where that's all they talk about.
Otherwise, once again, you'll be right back into it,
all that three months or 90 days
or 30 days or whatever your treatment program,
it defeats the purpose of doing it
because you're right back into the full swing,
so you need pre-care,
middle-care, and after-care.
Big time after-care.
You know, once you're clean, that's the easy part.
It's staying clean and, you know,
I can get off the drugs, it's staying off, you know?
I can stop using it, that's not the problem,
and once again, mine's physical.
I need some where I don't have to move or
be bothered for a week or two.
- [Interviewer] You gotta detox out.
- I don't need to get up at seven in the morning
and have to struggle and go somewhere,
and then I can't go anywhere else till five at night
when they open again, you know,
I need to just not move for two weeks,
and I can get rid of the sickness.
Even that, I'm not asking for drugs
or anything to help me get off,
I can grin and bear it.
And jail becomes an alternative.
A good alternative.
The last time I was clean was when I was in jail,
I was off everything, it took me a month
before I was sleeping right,
but that was the last time I was ever clean.
When jail sounds good and becomes a good alternative,
you know something's wrong with that picture.
- [Interviewer] But to society, jail is 250 dollars a day.
You know what I mean, that's the expensive alternative.
- Rather than put me through a treatment program
or help me, you know?
- [Interviewer] It's more cost effective,
business-wise, money-wise.
- Which is bullshit, because I'm a thief.
I'm out here draining resources by
stealing from stores, razing,
you know what I mean, it's a whole circle
that they don't understand,
the 250 or whatever it would cost
to put me through treatment would be a lot cheaper
than me out here stealing 500 dollars worth of stuff,
getting rid of it for a 100 dollars,
so I can get a fix.
And I do that every day.
And they don't understand that either.
- [Interviewer] If you had three wishes,
what would they be?
- Three wishes would be to be clean
and never have to use drugs again.
Become a brother, a son, an uncle.
And just stop taking.
Being able to give.
Just to stop being a taker
and being able to give, and being in a position
where I can give something
to people without expecting anything in return.
I really want to be clean,
I want to have a life.
I want to be regular.
I don't even want anything,
the dreams aren't even,
they're not huge.
I just want to have a place to rest my head,
I want to pay my bills,
I want to get angry because my phone bill's too high,
I want to be normal.
Whatever normal is, I want to be it.
As close to normal as I can get.
- [Interviewer] Thank you very much for talking to me.
- Yeah, no problem.
Thank you.