If you're as neurotic as I am, you've probably pondered at least once; "can I found a sovereign
nation and declare myself head of state, thereby exempting myself from the duties and responsibilities
demanded of me by my current government - such as paying taxes?"
Well, actually you can, but as you can imagine, there's some work involved. Firstly, international
law specifies some minimum requirements for you to be eligible - one of which is that
you must have a defined territory. Sadly, this is where our plan falls apart - at the
very first hurdle, like most of my other plans. Chances are you were thinking your sovereign
nation would exist entirely on your property - after all; you bought the land, it's yours.
You can turn it into a sovereign nation if you want to. Well, your government would probably
disagree, and if you intend to tell them that your land is no longer part of their territory,
well, good luck. If you're lucky enough to live in a part of
the world where the government will simply ignore this - I wouldn't push your luck. They
won't care about your kingdom or empire or whatever until you and your citizens actually
start living under your own law and ignore theirs. This will get you in trouble.
If you decide to forcibly assert your independence and resist their law enforcement, expect to
be refered to not as the head of state, but as the head of a cult. Enjoy that while it
lasts. So to summarise you've basically got two choices
for your dreams of statehood - have them completely ignored in every official capacity or go down
in a bloody blaze of glory in resistance to the government. Both these options have been
tried and tested by many before us, and today we'll be taking a look at one such story,
what happened to the self-declared Emperor of the United States?
Joshua Norton was born in 1818 in England. Two years after his birth, he and his family
moved to South Africa. As merchants they enjoyed a degree of wealth, and when Joshua left for
the United States in 1849 he brought with him a personal fortune.
Arriving in San Francisco, California, Joshua Norton quickly got involved in real estate
and commodities trading, multiplying his wealth. He became one of San Francisco's more prosperous
and respected citizens, enjoying the high-life as a member of exclusive clubs and committees,
rubbing elbows with the upper class at expensive parties and fancy establishments.
As an eternal begrudger, it sounds to me like this guy needed to be taken down a peg or
two. Unfortunately for Norton, the divine peg movers erroneously dropped his peg to
the floor, where it fell in dog shit and no one wanted to pick it back up again.
For you see, in 1852, a famine in China created a shortage of rice in San Francisco, driving
the prices up nearly tenfold. Seeing an opportunity and thinking the price of rice is nice, Norton
located a ship returning from Peru with rice, and bought the entire shipment. It was a license
to print money, until very shortly after when a bunch of other ships arrived also carrying
rice, and of better quality. With the supply restored, the prices plummeted,
leaving Norton in a spot of bother. He tried to void his rice contract, stating the quality
was not up to snuff, and this led to a lengthy legal battle. After three years, the courts
ruled against Norton, and he was financially ruined. He was soon living in a boarding house.
Norton grew disillusioned with the state and the law, which means he's back in my good
books. Now a downtrodden outcast with nothing to his name but a rebellious attitude towards
"the man", Norton decided there was only one course of action - he had to take matters
into his own hands. In 1859, he had a letter published in a San Francisco newspaper that
read; "At the peremptory request and desire of a
large majority of the citizens of these United States, I, Joshua Norton, formerly of Algoa
Bay, Cape of Good Hope, and now for the last 9 years and 10 months past of San Francisco,
California, declare and proclaim myself Emperor of these United States; and in virtue of the
authority thereby in me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the
different States of the Union to assemble in Musical Hall, of this city, on the 1st
day of February next, then and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the
Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is laboring, and thereby cause
confidence to exist, both at home and abroad, in our stability and integrity.
— NORTON I., Emperor of the United States." For the next 20 years Norton acted as emperor,
although in reality he was a pauper. Whether it was all in good humour or his fall from
the top to the bottom had driven him mad is not quite known, but most seem to agree he
was an eccentric character. Through the newspapers, he issued many decrees
on matters of state; abolishing Congress, dissolving the two-party system, he even called
for the construction of a suspension bridge from Oakland to San Francisco in 1872. In
this he was somewhat of a visionary, as the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge began construction
in 1933. Coincedence? Well, yes actually, the government
totally ignored Emperor Norton, but despite his increasing frustration at this, other
than commanding the army to arrest politicians in further decrees, he didn't take it any
further than that and lived under the law like most other citizens.
So how did the other citizens view him? He was actually well liked. He had been a respected
member of society beforehand and was always described as friendly and kind. Many of his
decrees had the wellbeing of everyday citizens in mind, focusing on things like taxes and
the upkeep of the streets, and he spent his days wandering around the city listening to
people's problems, attending public lectures and debates and even state legislature proceedings,
ensuring he was well-versed in the troubles of his city.
Because of this, many humoured him in his stylings as emperor. He lived off people's
donations, that he called tax. He issued his own imperial money and some businesses even
accepted this even though it was completely worthless. As an aside some of these notes
survived to today and they're worth quite a lot of money now.
A nearby army base donated old uniforms for his regal outfit and when the people of San
Francisco noted his appearance was starting to look shabby the city's government bought
him new uniforms. In a local directory his occupation was even listed as "emperor", although
it also stated he was insane.
This was a notion shared by some others, including a special officer in the auxiliary police
force, which was little more than a private security force that operated under the actual
police force. This officer arrested Norton in 1867 and tried to have him committed to
an asylum. This outraged Norton's loyal subjects, who pointed out that he was a harmless eccentric
who had committed no crime. The police chief ordered the release of Norton and issued an
apology. Norton responded by granting an Imperial Pardon to the special officer that arrested
him. From then on, the police saluted Emperor Norton as he passed in the street.
He had captured the hearts of the people, but his empire was largely powerless without
official recognition. To this end, Norton attempted to establish diplomatic relations
with various foreign leaders. These attempts often went ignored, such as his proposals
to marry Queen Victoria, but hilariously, the king of Hawaii refused to recognize the
US government near the end of his reign, instead acknowledging Emperor Norton as the sole leader
of the United States. As his fame grew, so too did rumours surrounding
his legend. Some claimed Norton was the son of French Emperor Napoleon III. Some claimed
he was massively wealthy. It's thought a lot of the rumours surrounding Norton's life come
from newspapers inventing decrees and publishing them under his name.
On January 8th 1880, Emperor Joshua Norton collapsed in the street while on his way to
a lecture at the California Academy of Sciences and died at the age of 61. His reign lasted
twenty years. After his death it was found the rumours of
Norton's secret wealth were erroneous. In a search of his room at the boarding house
it was found his possessions amounted to a few dollars, his uniforms, a battered saber
and some imperial documents, hilariously including forged responses to his diplomatic efforts.
Norton was to receive a pauper's funeral, however, when local businesses learned of
this, they contributed funds to ensure he had a nicely constructed casket and a dignified
funeral. Reportedly over 10,000 people showed up to pay their respects - from the wealthiest
businessman to the poorest labourer.
Today, there are efforts to rename the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge to the Emperor
Norton Bridge, meaning he is still a somewhat relevant figure in San Francisco's politics
well over a hundred years after his death. So, I guess if you wanted to declare yourself
a ruler, Emperor Norton's example is probably a good one to follow.
Of course you'll still have to pay taxes and obey the law but that's your problem, not
mine. As the high king of Ireland, I am of course above such matters. As always, my subjects
are commanded to like and subscribe, and I'm sure you've heard this one before, kiss my
royal Irish ass.