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- [Narrator] Hey psych2goers,
and welcome back to another video.
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to make psychology and mental health
more accessible to everyone possible
and we want to thank you for that.
Now back to the video.
Has anyone ever told you that you're too nice
or that you're kind and generous to a fault?
Well, being an inherently nice person isn't a bad thing,
there can be a problem when you're too nice
for your own good.
You can be a little too selfless
or too trusting or too self-sacrificing.
If you're not careful, you can be easily fooled
and manipulated, blinded by your own good nature.
Being too nice can hurt you in a lot of ways
you may not have realized.
Here are eight common struggles of people
who are too nice for their own good.
One, you don't know how to say no.
Do you have a hard time turning your friends and family down
no matter how tired or busy you are?
When your friends ask for your help,
you rush to their side without a second thought.
Or when a family member ask you
to run some errands for them,
you jump at the chance to lend a helping hand.
If you're sure you can find a way to fit all this
into your already jam packed schedule somehow,
you're too embarrassed to say no
to anyone who asks you nicely.
Two, you attract the wrong kinds of people.
Do you find it difficult to know for sure who you can trust?
Have people manipulated you
or exploited your kindness in the past?
You may find yourself surrounded
by lots of fair weathered friends who only stick around
as long as they need something from you,
because the matter of the fact is, you can never really know
if someone truly cares about you
until you have nothing more to give to them.
Three, everyone keeps asking you for favors.
Do your loved ones often turn to you
for help, comfort or advice?
Do you find yourself always trying to fix their problems
or doing unwanted favors for them?
When you're a nice person, people feel comfortable
asking for your help or telling you about their problems.
And while it's certainly nice to be seen
as supportive and dependable, it can quickly get tiring
when everyone seems to want something from you,
even people you barely know,
or you're not even close to.
Four, some people are suspicious of you.
Have others asked you,
why are you being so nice or what's in it for you?
Some people might be suspicious of you
and misjudge your kind gestures
as having ulterior motives behind them.
They think you're just too nice to be true
and can find it hard to believe
that someone else would be so polite, selfless
and good-natured for no reason.
Five, you're afraid to speak your mind.
Because you're usually so patient
and easygoing with everyone,
you're afraid to get upset, cry, or yell
even when you have every right to.
You don't want others' perception of you to change
and you feel pressured to do what's expected of you.
You hold back on your emotions,
are hesitant to assert yourself or share your opinions
because you want to stay at the nice person
everyone feels so fondly about.
Six, you forgive people too easily.
When you're more softhearted,
you tend to be too forgiving of others.
You trust people too easily,
and you give second chances to those whom you shouldn't.
Even if they've hurt you or betrayed you in the past,
you still can't help, but show them forgiveness
because of how difficult it is
for you to bear a grudge against them.
And while you know deep down inside that your kindness
is better spent on more deserving people,
you're still willing to see the good in others
and give them the benefit of the doubt when they need it.
Seven, you feel guilty putting yourself first.
Do you struggle with feelings of guilt
when you try to put yourself first?
There's so many things you want to do for yourself,
but you just can't, unless you've taken care
of the people you love first, even if it's something simple
like turning down an invitation to go out
in favor of getting much needed rest and relaxation.
It can be hard for an overly nice person
to think of themselves for a change
without feeling like they're doing something wrong.
Eight, you forget to be nice to yourself.
Do you find that you routinely
put other's wants and needs before your own?
It's important to remember to take good care of yourself
just as you care for others.
And while it can be challenging to balance your time,
energy, and attention between the ones
you care about and yourself, you need to remember
that you owe yourself the love you so freely give to others.
If you're not careful, you may end up sacrificing
all your effort, attention, and emotional wellbeing
into relationships that aren't good for you
or people who aren't worth it.
Set healthy boundaries for yourself.
and don't be afraid to say no, every once in a while.
You deserve love and happiness too, just like everyone else.
Please like, and share this video if it helped you,
and you think it could help someone else too.
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Thank you for watching, and we'll see you next time.