- Cameras are rolling.
Here we go.
I'm Coyote Peterson and I'm about to enter the bite zone
with the German Shepherd, Doberman Pinscher,
and the Belgian Malinois.
All right, Jay, release the beast!
Never gets any easier guys.
(dramatic music)
(dog barking)
Ahh, ahh, God, get him, get him, get him.
(dramatic music) (film projector buzzing)
(big cat roaring) (dramatic music continues)
(flames crackling)
(stately orchestral music)
- [Wolf] It's a beautiful sunny morning here
in West Virginia and welcome to Glade Springs.
Today's event promises to be painfully entertaining,
as self-proclaimed beast of bites, Coyote Peterson,
is going to be strategically taken down
and of course bitten by three truly terrifying,
yet professionally trained canines.
(dog barks)
Peterson will be wearing a Kevlar bite suit,
and while it will protect him
from lacerations and punctures, it does not have padding,
and he will feel every bit of pressure in these bites.
The playing field measures 60 feet,
so once the canines are released off the leash,
Peterson will only have seconds to prepare for impact,
and running is not an option.
Each dog will be ranked on a scale of one through five
across three categories:
intimidation, impact,
and bite force.
I gotta tell ya, I seen some dumb, ridiculous dog shows,
but nothin' tops the insanity that is the "Best in Bites".
- Ahhhh!
- [Wolf] Now, before we get eyes
on the lineup of pooches,
first a big thanks to our Marquet sponsor,
Makor K9 of West Virginia.
If you are in the market for a tactically trained,
law enforcement or home security companion,
give 'em a call.
Not only do their dogs have the bark,
you're about to see that they definitely have the bite.
Oo, first up will be a German Shepherd named Mezzi.
Weighing in at around 70 pounds
and armed with an estimated bite force of over 220 pounds,
it's fair to say that this is not
going to be a pretty scene.
Peterson's second hit, if he lasts that long,
will come in the form of a Doberman Pinscher named Moushka.
Tippin' the scales at 95 pounds,
his intimidation level should be off the chart,
and he proudly boasts being a fully trained
home security dog.
Now, if players is still standin' after the first two dogs,
his final feat will be goin' up against
a tactically trained Belgian Malinois named Casia.
Woo hoo hoo, 75 pounds of pure muscle,
backed up by a bone crushing bite force,
this dog is designed to enforce a fast surrender.
My goodness.
Okay, Mr. Beast of Bites,
no guts, no glory.
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to "Best in Bites".
(stately orchestral music)
- Okay guys, I'm getting ready for the first dog.
I've decided to go with the German Shepherd because,
I mean, it's intimidating based on its coloration.
But hasn't been snapping, hasn't been snarling yet.
I'd say it's medium size when it comes to its weight.
And this is again, remember, training for the dog.
This is actually really fun for these dogs to be doing this.
It's almost like playing a game of fetch.
The only difference is that I'm the toy
at the end of the run.
So cameras are rolling.
Here we go.
I'm Coyote Peterson and I'm about to enter the bite zone
with the German Shepherd.
Here we go.
(dramatic music)
Hey boy, here I am.
Here we go, here we go.
Here I am, right here, right here, right here.
(dramatic music)
Oh, oh, ah!
Ah, ah, ah!
Ow, ow, ow!
Oh, oh, oh
Ah, ah, he's gettin' close my hand!
Surrender, surrender, surrender!
Surrender!
Ouch!
- [Jay] Auf!
Good boy!
Auf!
(Coyote breathing heavily)
(dog barks)
- [Wolf] Wow!
Did you see the speed at which Mezzi covered the field?
I gotta say Peterson held up and danced well
in the presence of that 220 pound bite force.
I woulda been cryin' for mercy
before the dog even hit me.
Okay, let's head back to the field and get
an official tally.
- Holy bone-crushing bite force!
I would say that on a scale of one to five,
this being the first dog, that was probably a three.
I wanna say a three, maybe more.
Oh, definitely more powerful than Maya,
the Belgian Malinois that we worked with a few years ago.
And I called surrender at one point
because my hand started slipping out of the bite jacket
and was becoming exposed.
What I didn't want to happen was for the dog to take
one chomp further and actually get teeth into my flesh.
Phew!
Intimidation level, I would say probably a two.
Not too much snapping to start off.
Impact probably about a two as well.
But the bite, definitely without question, a three.
Ahh!
Oh my gosh.
Oh, my heart is racing.
(dramatic music)
Okay, okay.
We're good.
I'm ready to go to the next dog.
Aw, phew!
(dramatic music)
(Coyote breathing heavily)
Never gets any easier, guys.
Never gets any easier.
I'm Coyote Peterson,
and I'm about to be bitten by the Doberman Pinscher.
Here we go.
All right, Jay, release the beast.
Over here, buddy.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Ah!
Right here.
Ah, ah, ah, ugh, ugh!
Ah, ah.
Ah ah, ohhh!
Ah!
Oh, and the dog's so big his teeth get all the way
up on top of me.
Ah!
Yah, ugh!
Ahh!
Ooo, ooo, oo!
Ah, ah, ah.
Okay, I surrender, I surrender.
I surrender.
Ah, ahh!
(dog barks) (Coyote breathing heavily)
Ahh, mmm!
- [Wolf] Only a true bonehead would sneak into a yard
or a house with that pooch on the prowl.
I mean, look at this replay.
When it's up on its back legs,
I think the dog is taller than Peterson himself!
Coyote's still rollin' around on the ground.
Come on, Mr. Bites, get up.
We need an official tally.
- Oh man.
Oh!
Let me catch my breath.
(Coyote breathing heavily)
Ugh, oh.
Ughhh!
Ahhh!
Unnh!
Holy mackerel.
Oh my heart.
My heart is going so fast and I can hardly breathe.
Oh my gosh.
When you see a dog of that size
barreling straight towards you,
when he gets up on his back legs, he's as tall as I am.
I was looking his mouth right in my face.
As I got my arm up, he got me low on the wrist,
which immediately was like, oh my gosh,
he's gonna get my hand.
He ended up working up towards my elbow,
because I turned my arm.
I was able to actually stay up on my feet a little easier
than I was the German Shepherd, believe it or not.
I think that's because of the height of the dog itself.
Now, my arm was deep back into those teeth, too.
The size of that dog's head is absolutely massive.
And even through this bite suit,
man, I could feel a lot of pressure.
once it really realized what it was biting down onto,
those bites increased.
I mean, they got more and more powerful
as the dog amped itself up.
And oh my gosh, by the end of it,
when I had to call surrender, it was, it was painful.
More painful than the German Shepherd.
I would say on a scale of one to five,
the bite force ranks as a four.
I would say intimidation factor is without question a four.
When it comes to impact, there was intimidation today.
It didn't hit as hard as the German shepherd did.
So I'd say I'm going to give it only a two on the impact.
But man,
a dog of that size is not something you ever want to be
latched onto your arm.
Oh, I need a breather before we go Malinois.
Ugh!
Oh my goodness, I am a true human chew toy.
Whoo!
Okay, this is it.
Last dog of the day.
Without question the intimidation factor
is on the next level.
When this dog is on the leash,
it his snapping, snarling, spit and slobber.
This is a fully trained tactical Belgian Malinois.
This is ah, this is it.
This is gonna be the bad one.
Oh man.
(Coyote chuckles nervously)
Okay, here we go.
I'm Coyote Peterson.
And I'm about to be bitten by the Belgian Malinois.
All right, here we go.
Come on buddy, come and get me!
Wah!
Wahhh, ahh, ahh, ah, ah, ahhhh!
God, get him, get him, get him, get him.
Gah!
(dog snarling)
Wah, ah, ah, ah, ahhh, ah, ah.
I surrender, I surrender, I surrender.
Ahh, ah, ah, ah, ahhhh!
Ahh, ahh, ahh.
Ah!
Ahhh!
Ohh!
(Coyote panting heavily)
Clear dog, clear dog.
Oh, ah, ahhhh!
Okay.
(Coyote groaning) (dramatic music)
(Coyote groaning)
Oh, oh.
(Coyote breathing heavily)
There is no question about it.
The Belgian Malinois' bite is next level
compared to the German Shepherd
and to the Doberman Pinscher.
Oh my gosh.
That was insanely painful.
I can't move my arm right now.
Oh my gosh.
I mean the impact, the dog actually slammed into me,
threw me backwards, then found me again and latched on.
And I mean, we're talking bites up and down my arm.
And when he finally got down to a narrow spot by my wrist
where he could get his entire mouth over
and locked in place, I mean just crushing power.
I can feel the teeth grinding up against my bone.
I can't even explain to you guys how painful that effect is.
Remember the bite suit is preventing the teeth
from actually penetrating skin,
but I am feeling all of that impact.
Intimidation factor five,
impact four,
pressure of bite, five.
No question about it.
Oh my gosh, okay.
I gotta get the bite suit off and take a look at my arm.
Ah, give me a minute.
Ohhh!
- [Wolf] I gotta be honest, okay.
That dog was like a laser beam off the leash.
It had take-down burning in his eyes.
And I can only imagine what Peterson must've been thinkin'.
I honestly, I wouldn't be surprised
if he soiled his bite suit.
Seriously.
(dramatic music)
- Oh man, my arm is sore.
The swelling is beginning to set in.
Without question, I'm gonna have bruises.
And to be honest, it's hard to squeeze my hand into a fist.
Now, when you break it all down,
the German Shepherd versus the Doberman Pinscher
versus the Malinois,
without question the Malinois takes the title
in the "Best in Bites" show.
And I'm gonna give a big thanks to Makor K9 of West Virginia
for allowing us to be a part of their training procedures.
Remember, while these dogs may look fierce and ferocious,
turning me into human chew toy
is all a part of their daily training.
I'm Coyote Peterson, be brave, stay wild.
We'll see ya on the next adventure.
Time to get some ice for my arm.
- [Wolf] Well folks,
that brings us to the end of our show.
It was a thrilling journey,
and I think we can all walk away with a new appreciation
for the talents possessed by these incredible canines.
Signing off, I'm your host, Wolf Masterson,
saying goodbye and good night.
- Ahh, ah, uh, uh, ahh.
Ungh, ah, ah, ahhh!
- [Wolf] Hey Coyote Pack,
if you love bites and you love Coyote,
and you love Coyote takin' bites from beastly things,
make sure to check out his newest memoir,
"The Beast of Bites" and pick up your copy
by clicking on the link in the video description below.
Woo hoo hoo!
(buoyant guitar music)
(distant roaring and howling)