Hey you! So today we’re going to talk about “post-upload depression” or “PUD”
to name it more adorably. PUD is this sense of sadness or emptiness you feel after releasing
something you’ve worked really really hard on.
But what is post-upload depression? What causes it? And is there anything that can be done
about it? Well, given that it’s a made-up term which I made-up, I have authority to
make-up the rest of this conversation too so let’s jump into it!
Well as I mentioned before, PUD is a feeling of sadness and/or emptiness. It’s this overwhelming
sense of nothingness with hints of purposelessness, dissatisfaction, and even shame. It’s a
hole a lot of us can find ourselves in immediately after sending our work off upon the world.
But why? Hands today! They're just happening!
In my experience, PUD can be triggered by a number of things. First of all, negative
feedback. Anyone who’s ever released anything knows just how crushing that one critical
comment can be, even if it’s surrounded by thousands of positive ones. I think that’s
because we all have fears and insecurities regarding our work which makes it very hard
to believe the people we’ve fooled into thinking we have talent. However, that one
person who hates you and your work as much as you do? You're gonna listen to them because
obviously they get it right? They know what's going on! You should respect them and their opinion.
Something else that can trigger a bout of post-upload depression is the fact that creative
folk are constantly chasing an ever-moving finish line. That dream of actually creating
something truly amazing and the hope that once you’ve done that, you’ll finally
feel good and accomplished. However, that moment never really arrives. If it did, people
would probably stop making films once they’ve won an Oscar. The fact is, as we improve,
so do our standards, so we can never truly impress ourselves.
The last PUD-inducing element is the sense of purposelessness you can wind up feeling
after a project has been completed. A writer writes, a painter paints, and a filmmaker
makes films. So, in that space between projects, when you’re not actually doing the thing
that potentially defines you… What are you? Are you still that thing? Or are you no longer
a filmmaker, and more of a filmmader. Sure. Either way, your time spent in that creative
no mans land can be a very scary and isolating and... WHAT AM I ANYMORE?! I DON'T KNOW!!
So? What can be done about post-upload depression? Well, the best advice I have is to expect
it and to harness it. You see, much like fear or self-doubt these are natural feelings which
help balance us out as people. For me, I accept that PUD is a natural part of the creative
process and so when it hits I don’t let it destroy me, I motivate me on to the next
project and try to do even better the next time around.
To be honest, the only time you should really fear post-upload depression is when you're
not feeling it. Because that might just mean that you’ve gotten comfortable and you're
no longer challenging yourself. Or you could just be a confident and well-rounded person
but this video isn’t for you, you lucky bastard, get outta here. Wait, no actually!
Come back! Tell me what that's like?
So why did I make this video? Well, my hope is that if you feel these feelings then you
too can learn to identify, expect and harness them. I’ve seen far too many creative people
give up entirely because of this fairly natural state of mind and that, my friends, is just
not an option. Now get back out there and make something. Or don’t. I’m not your Senpai.
Actually, here’s something you can make. A response to this video. What are your thoughts
on post-upload depression. Does it exist? What’re your experiences with it? How do
you deal with it? I feel like this are fairly uncharted waters so let’s have a chart...
A little chat... Anyway... Until next time,
TomSka out. I am fucking great at this job. I'm out.