(upbeat music)
(laughing)
(clears throat)
- My name is Aria.
I'm originally from Beijing, China.
I'm an only child
because we had the one-child policy in China.
I just never really felt this strong bond with my parents.
I mean, there was always respect and love
but I don't think it was like openly communicated.
- Hi, I'm Rohan and I'm from Arizona.
I was born in India.
I always knew my parents, they really loved each other,
especially my dad.
My dad will make these exclamations of love,
whereas my mom will never say anything,
but I almost felt like they could never
be without each other.
And that I felt from both of them.
(playful guitar music)
- The first time that I saw Rohan was in college.
Where we went to school there was always like,
these Asian basketball tournaments.
And I remember he was on one of the teams,
they always won.
And I'm not just saying that, they were always number one.
(laughs)
And on the court, he's kinda like water on ice.
He just dribbles and has really nice jump shot.
And also he was tall. (laughs)
So I asked him for his number
to help me get better at basketball.
- In my head I was like, I don't want to, but I said yes.
She wouldn't wear basketball shorts when she played,
she would wear cheerleading shorts.
I was like, from a visual perspective,
I was very attracted to her as well. (laughs)
She would text me about going to parties
or going to get lunch.
And I didn't understand how the two were related.
I was like no, I'm okay.
- Or I'm studying.
I'm like okay.
That's cool.
Pretty much he was clueless. (laughs)
So I was like one last ditch effort,
I'm going to invite him to this Culture Night.
And surprisingly, he said yes.
- Probably for the last month of my junior year
of college, we hung out like 24/7.
- Like we couldn't be peeled away from each other.
- We had a long dating period where we were unsure
of what the other person was to us.
We just knew it was serious but we didn't
have a label on it.
- I don't even know, it must have been two years.
- I didn't know how to say those things,
even sitting down and like,
so do you wanna be my girlfriend?
It was a little bit challenging for me
to be open about how I feel and tell her that
I really need her in my life and like she makes it better.
Things like that, it's hard for me to say that.
Even admit it to myself.
- Yeah.
I can't remember easily being able to say I love you.
Even now it's still hard.
To just get the words out of my mouth.
I'm very reserved about those kinda very strong feelings
towards another person.
Maybe, I don't know, I don't like being too vulnerable.
- Yeah.
(upbeat music)
- He knows how to push my buttons and he always does it.
And does it really well.
Even if it's literally pushing my buttons
like he'll just poke me. (laughs)
And I'm like focused on something
and trying to get something done.
And I'm like what are you doing, what do you want?
He's just like. (laughs)
- I don't like the way she drives.
- Oh I'm a good driver.
- [Rohan] She thinks she's a very good driver.
- I am.
- She's an Asian woman so you know what I'm saying.
- See this is all serious level BS.
- No she does this thing, she'll follow cars really closely
like she's a tailgater.
- He'll always go, you know what I mean?
Like he'll explain a really long thing
and he'll be like, you know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
And I'm like yes I know what you mean.
- When she cooks she will follow the recipe to a T.
If it's like three minutes, it's three minutes!
She'll start freaking out.
You can never just like off the cuff make something.
It's like let's follow the recipe.
- I don't know if that's true, sorry.
- Of course.
- I think I'm more relaxed about stuff like that.
In general I'm pretty easy going.
I'm not very, I just let things kinda just you know ...
- You don't have to defend it I think.
- Anything else?
We spent the bulk of our 20s together.
And I think you grow a lot in those years.
You really come to realize who you are
and having shared all that with him shaped me as a person.
And also my viewpoint on life.
And love.
And he's had the patience to stick it out.
- I realized through our relationship,
for me love is about a sense of respect.
If I didn't respect that person and not ever have to
be disappointed in their character,
for me that's, I love that person.
For me love is the respect.
Um, we are not, I'm not in love.
I do love her very much.
We dated off and on for five years and two years ago,
we decided to end the relationship.
- I'm not in love but I do love who he is as a person.
The respect that we've developed for each other
is always going to be there.
- But for me being in love, it kinda goes in and out.
It's like you were infatuated at first
and you kinda stick it out cos you're comfortable.
Then you come back to love and you're in love again.
And then it goes away.
So in love is kinda like shifting.
- But right now though I would say we're just friends.
- Yeah.
- Very close friends.
Yeah. (sighs)
- [Man] Soulpancake.
(upbeat music)