Hello.
So excitingly, next week is International Week of the Deaf.
Oooh
I'm going to be making three videos that are going to go through the week.
They're gonna be on a different schedule.
*GASP*
How will we cope?
We will cope fine.
They will be on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
Rather than my normal Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
By the way, can we again just discuss Saturday because what a sign. The day we clean stuff.
I mean I'd say it's the day we go shopping and then go out and party.
But yes, historical science.
I wanted to start my Deaf video week with 13 things I want my hearing friends to know.
#1: I'm faking it.
Yeah, my understanding that is.
Because really, I have no clue!
Probably 50% of the time, I've just- I've lost the plot.
I'm good at it. It's second nature now, but I hate it.
I'll have a conversation with you. We will walk away from each other.
You'll think, "Oh yeah, completely. She completely knows what's going on."
No, no.
For the last 10 minutes, maybe, I've had absolutely no clue.
It is amazing how far "oh, yes" and "really?" and this face
Can get you in life.
#2: Please can we meet somewhere with really good lighting?
Going to a pub or a bar is really great and I love dancing.
But I really can't understand without lip-reading and maybe a little bit of sign.
So, somewhere with good lighting is pretty much vitally important.
Please.
#3: If you could learn just a few signs, that would be really helpful for me.
Like mainly, toilet *sign for toilet*
Or toilet *different sign for toilet*
Actually, probably just toilet *first sign for toilet*
Toilet *sign for toilet*
Please.
#4: When I follow something that you were just saying with a completely unrelated story
and I speak very loudly and with a lot of emphasis for a very long time,
I didn't really mean to talk over you or to act like I wasn't listening to what you were saying.
It's just that, literally, I wasn't listening to what you were saying
and I could not understand what you were saying.
And now I don't really want to be left alone and isolated from this conversation.
Because I am terrified of the isolation of deafness.
Okay, so here's a story that vaguely relates.
Please just nod.
#5: Please don't play games with my hearing.
Even if it's just holding your hand over your mouth and saying, "Can you hear me now?"
*fake, uncomfortable laughter*
No.
It's like someone's on crutches and you take their crutch away from them.
"Ha, can you walk now?"
No.
And you're an ass.
#6: Please feel free to complain about how really loud and noisy it is in here
and how you've got earache and ugh.
It's totally fine. It's okay.
You're not offending me.
My hearing can exist in a completely separate realm to yours.
It's okay.
#7: But do not say, "Oh, I wish I was deaf."
Do you? Do you?
Just because the baby's crying...
That doesn't mean it's great to not be able to use one of your senses properly.
K?
You wish that you had really selective hearing and you could choose when to turn it off.
You are not wishing that you were left entirely on your own unable to hear anything
and you had absolutely no choice in the matter.
#8: Please tell me any and all juicy gossip.
*GASP* I am dying to hear.
I love a good gossip.
But you know, I can't over hear and then jump into your conversation.
So please, please, please...
Tap me on the shoulder and say, "Hey, did you know about this?"
And I'll be like, *GASP* "I did not. Tell me more."
I am an awful gossip.
I should probably work on that but...
I don't want to.
#9: Using your phone to communicate with me is totally fine.
In fact, it's a really great idea.
Yes, please.
Do that more.
If you've already said it twice and I still don't understand,
Then go ahead, whip out your phone.
Text away and then just show me the screen.
You got it?
You understand?
Yes, please!
And don't worry, it's not rude.
It is an excellent idea.
#10: I'm only half sorry that I can't sing in tune or dance to the beat.
Mainly, I just don't care.
I'm busy having too much fun.
So, we're gonna go to karaoke
and you will probably have difficulty ever seen me in the same light ever again.
I probably sound like a cat has been murdered.
But I don't care.
#11: It's all in the eyes.
Okay, no. It's not.
It's all in the face.
Your face, could you please just add some expression to it?
Thank you.
I can't hear your tones.
I can't really read between the lines of what you're saying.
If you're joking, then could you please just wink at me?
I know, you'll feel really stupid.
But it's very helpful.
#12: Following on from that, I didn't mean it that way.
I'm so sorry!
I constantly, accidentally offend people with my tone of voice.
My poor wife gets the real brunt of this.
I'll say something nice, and then she'll look at me with such offense.
Such hurt.
Such pain.
And I'm just a bit confused.
I'm a very happy person
but my voice is sometimes a little passive-aggressive
and um...
and sarcastic.
But it's not me.
I promise.
I'm so sorry.
Please be my friend again.
*fake crying*
#13: And finally...
Can I please have your attention?
Look up when you're talking.
Don't turn away mid-sentence.
And please, please, please...
Stop talking to your phone.
Being deaf means that I am forced to truly listen to you.
So...
Please, could you just do the courtesy of listening to me?
So, there you go.
My 13 things I want my hearing friends to know.
Hi.
Hi friends.
I think I'm just gonna post this on Facebook like hi...
Hello, everyone who knows me.
Be my friend again.
If you enjoyed this video, then please hit the like button. That's very kind of you.
It really does help spread my little message.
And if you are not already, then come along.
Subscribe.
Come in.
Join us.
And I hope that you are looking forward to next week's videos.
The first of which will be coming on Monday.
Yay!
You