- You are my whole world.
You are my perfect partner in crime.
Not that you're a criminal,
unless being too beautiful is illegal.
So will you make me the happiest man on Earth
and marry me?
Actually, sorry.
Uh, can we take that again?
I just wasn't getting the right emotional intensity there.
Hey, Mom. Cut the recording, start over?
All right, take 12.
- If you need convincing, statistically,
married men earn 10% more than unmarried men.
Matrimony? More like matri-mo'-money.
- They say marriage is challenging.
You basically give up your freedom
in exchange for just doing the same routine,
day in and day out, with the same person
until you die.
I really look forward to giving up all those things
that made life worth living.
(ESTP exhaling heavily)
- It was all just a dream.
- I have a lot of people in my life,
so the fact that you're my favorite
means you're quite lucky.
Now, will you accept this ethically-sourced diamond
and marry me?
- So I'm sure you're wondering
why I brought you to this McDonald's.
- Uh, I figured you were just hungry.
- The truth is, I'm just crazy about you.
- Holy crap!
- Babe, here in front of these pigeons
and angry fast food customers
and that overflowing dumpster over there
in the parking lot of the McDonald's where we first met,
will you marry- - Wait a second.
This is definitely not where we first met.
- It's not?
Well, tell that to the Hamburglar-themed tuxedo
I bought on impulse last night.
- I can't promise you that things will always be easy.
I can't promise you that things will always be fun.
I can't even promise you that we will be happy.
But what I can promise you
is that you are gonna save a lot of money
because I can get anyone to lower their price.
This ring? I got the guy to come down 2K.
Child's play.
- I'm so glad that I could make
this delicious homemade meal for you,
and if you love the main course,
you are really gonna love what I've got for dessert.
It's a cheesecake. Wait, where did the...
Where did the cheesecake go? Did you...
You ate it.
You ate all of the cheesecake. Okay.
There was an engagement ring on top of that.
How did you miss that?
That's okay. It's okay, don't worry about it.
Uh, so after it goes
through a natural digestive process
and after a little cleaning,
I'll have a question to ask you.
- Therefore, in conclusion,
those are all the reasons you should marry me.
I'll give you a chance for a rebuttal,
but my argument's pretty airtight,
so don't waste your time.
- I'm fond enough of you that I'm willing
to participate in the financially reckless ritual
of buying a diamond engagement ring,
a practice which was made up by a diamond company
in order to get people to blow their money.
Will you marry me?
- Hey, I've got a great idea.
Let's get married!
Uh, I don't have the money for a ring right now,
but once I get a job, get a few promotions,
pay off all my student debt,
I'll be able to hook you up with a nice one.
What do you say?
- Will you be the Beyonce to my Jay-Z?
I was gonna say the Yoko Ono to my John Lennon,
but she is really weird and annoying, so, eh.
- If only you knew how long
I've been waiting for this moment.
Ever since we met in third grade
and I saw you sipping a juice box by the monkey bars,
I knew you were the one for me,
and I have planned out every step
of our relationship with mathematical precision.
And here you are, a puppet dangling on a string,
and I am the puppet master.
I mean, uh, will you marry me?
Of your own free will?
- This diamond really reminds of you.
Something about its pear cut,
along with the perfection of the pavilion angle,
as well as the girdle size.
Wow, I'm sorry.
That sounded kind of inappropriate.
- So I was hoping you'd, like, marry me.
Unless your answer is no, in which case, April Fool's!
It was a big joke! Ha, ha.
Unless you saying no is also an April Fool's joke,
in which case, yeah, that's really funny!
Man, I thought it was so clever to propose on April 1st.
You know, like, I'm such a fool for you.
Turns out, it just made things very confusing.
(easygoing music) (texts chiming)
- Okay, well, that's not a good sign.
She responded right away to the first text
and still hasn't responded to the second one.
So I'm just gonna go crawl into a corner and die.
- You're the first person I think of in the morning
and the last thought that goes through my head
before I drift off into dreams.
You are the real dream.
You fill my life with magic that is literally beyond belief,
and if I don't ask this question to you right now,
I'm gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
Will you marry me,
first name, middle name, last name?
Man, I kinda nailed that! Wow.
Now I just need to, uh, find a person.
Yeah.
That, that would be, that'd be good.
Okay.
- Hey, guess what?
I've got a limited edition ugly holiday sweater
that you can pick up for yourself
and rep your favorite YouTube channel, which is this one.
As you can see, it's got my face on it.
This is the link down below, or go to infj.me/store.
Thanks for watching and supporting the channel.
(festive music)