good morning everybody i know i'm
running a little bit late today so
i apologize for that welcome to those of
you who have already logged in
and i'm not even centered in the screen
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there we go
anyhow i hope everyone is having an
absolutely amazing start to their friday
we will get started with this
presentation in just a second
i'd like to welcome everybody today's
presentation of integrative behavioral
health
today we're talking about interpersonal
symptoms of depression this
is part four of four i'm your host dr
donnelly
snipes
so while we've talked about some of the
physical symptoms of depression and
cognitive symptoms of depression and
obviously
emotional symptoms of depression there
are also
interpersonal considerations when people
are depressed
um it impacts their relationships with
others
as well as their self-esteem and you all
know that i lump
self-esteem in with interpersonal
relations because
it is our relationship with ourself and
when we feel depressed
a lot of times we beat ourselves up for
it
we can feel um inadequate in a lot of
ways because you know sometimes we just
don't have the energy to get it done
we don't have the motivation so our
self-esteem really can take a hit
and that is a symptom of depression
isolation withdrawal and emotional
unavailability is another sign
potentially
of depression it can also be a sign of
anxiety or ptsd
or physical exhaustion i mean remember a
lot of different things can cause these
symptoms
but it's important for you to examine
yourself and what's going on if you have
withdrawn from others if you have
isolated yourself from others
or if you're still around others but
you're just not emotionally available
you really
just can't care about anything that they
have to say
that may be an indication a big
indication
that something is amiss and it very well
could be depression
when we are depressed a lot of times we
are out of gas
we feel like you know just getting up
and
getting dressed and putting one foot in
front of the other
is really arduous work so we have
difficulty
being tolerant of other people's stuff
their requests which could be presented
very nicely
but when you're completely out of energy
any requests can seem like
a monumental task so we may become
intolerant of other people
wanting things from us whether it's our
attention
or us to do something or some anything
like that
we often have a lack of motivation to
care and it's not
that we don't love these people but we
just don't have any energy to invest in
them we are that depressed we
are that out of gas and we also may fear
rejection
because we have no energy no gas
to get motivated to do the things that
we would normally do
because we tend to feel very frustrated
and intolerant of other people because
we just
we can't it's just you know i just i
just can't i can't take it i can't
tolerate i can't deal
and those are all indications that there
you may have some underlying depression
or anxiety
some people when they're depressed
develop increased
dependence on other people instead of
isolating
they actually feel much more dependent
and disempowered like they need
other people to care for them they can't
they don't feel like they
can even do the activities of daily
living so they feel
much clingier they feel much more
fearful of abandonment
and interpersonally you know when you're
depressed
sometimes just like your moods can be
erratic your relationships can be very
erratic you're not consistent
in your ability to pay attention and be
responsive to people
you have difficulty with responsiveness
some days you might be able to be there
and you know get it right other days you
just
you don't have the energy and it may not
even be on a day-to-day basis
it may be an hour-to-hour basis
attention paying attention and nurturing
relationships a lot of times you don't
have the energy to do that you may
squeak out a little bit here and there
whenever you can but it's not again
consistent
it's difficult to validate empathize and
support
other people when you're feeling
depressed
because again that takes energy that
takes
effort even if it's just you know
committing
cognitive resources cognitive focus to
talk to somebody on the phone
that is really difficult when you're
clinically depressed
so these are all signs or symptoms that
potentially may
occur when you are experiencing
depression
so the question is well what do we do
about them
be compassionate with yourself that's
one of the first things if you had a
friend
who was sick who was depressed who was
you know experiencing some of these
symptoms
would you be critical and judgmental and
angry at them
most likely not you'd probably be
compassionate
so turn that compassion on yourself
you're going to waste
a lot more energy beating yourself up
for not doing what you think you quote
should do than you would
energy spending being compassionate with
yourself and saying okay
let's take it moment by moment and
practice
really living in the moment what can i
do
right now to make this the best moment
possible
making sure that you are attending to
those physical needs
as much as possible and recognizing
that depression is a sign that your body
factory
is on the fritz there's something that
is causing
a an imbalance in those
neurotransmitters so it's
important to be able to diagnose
what's going on and figure out you know
why
is it that i am feeling these symptoms
that i'm
feeling is it because of stuff going on
that i'm having difficulty coping with
because of health behaviors because i
have a negative outlook
because i don't feel like i've got any
support and i feel
unsafe and disempowered what's going on
that's contributing to
this feeling of
threat and this lack of
things that would promote norepinephrine
dopamine and serotonin you know those
and oxytocin we talked about those uh
that a little bit yesterday
oxytocin is our bonding hormone when our
oxytocin levels are low
we tend to feel more isolated we tend to
have less
desire to engage in
pro-social behaviors engage with other
people
when our oxytocin is low we may feel
depressed
so thinking about what things can i do
that can help me feel more connected
what things can i do that can help
increase my levels of dopamine and
serotonin
so i might have a little bit more energy
to do
even small things to
address my self-esteem to be good to
myself to love myself
as well as to you know
be aware of relationships and when when
i say be aware i'm recognizing the fact
that when we're depressed we're not just
going
to you know smell some lavender and be
like okay you know
i'm all back and what can i do to help
it doesn't work that way
relationships are interesting and when
we look at them from a
you know step back perspective we
recognize
that relationships are a give and take
you know when your best friend
is struggling and they need you it
you give a lot of energy and then there
may be times when neither one of you is
particularly needy and it's you know
great you're nurturing that relationship
adding um
what's the word i'm looking for adding
value
to that friendship bank so then when you
are needy
you can draw on that you know so it's a
transfer
of resources back and forth
so when you are depressed you your your
best friends your friends your
people who love you don't expect you to
be
all there for them and able to give 115
like you always do they are there to be
able to
try to nurture you and help you along
just like
you would do for them and and it's
important to recognize that
so you can rely on the kindness of
others
in order to help you through when it
feels like
your legs are are stuck in quicksand
they can help you walk that path until
you can
shake off the quicksand and start
feeling more like your
regular self another thing that we often
forget
is that our friends our loved ones
often want to help us when we are
struggling
but they may not know how and if we
assume they know
we're setting both of us up for
disappointment
because you know then we feel bad
because they're not doing what we want
them to do
but if they don't know what we want them
to do they can't do it
so we need to communicate we need to ask
for help
we need to give people the opportunity
to be
able to be there for us and it actually
they've done studies and they've shown
that it strengthens relationships
when people are able to do things for
one another
um when someone is able to help me
it actually strengthens their belief
in the um
health of our relationship so it feels
like it's a give and take and we
give people that opportunity so those
are the things i would encourage you
to focus on um in terms of eliminating
things
you know when you're depressed it is
helpful
to consider setting boundaries and
minimizing exposure
as much as possible to people who are
totally negative and totally stressed
out you don't want to get that whole
group thing
going on where they are confirming your
worst
fears you know you want somebody who can
validate
how badly you feel but who can also
um embody the fact
that there is hope at the end of the
line
you want them to be able to help you you
know
see that there is there are positive
things forward and
use their energy in a positive way to
help you move forward
instead of holding you back
i know this was a short one there wasn't
a lot to talk about today
are there any questions
well i hope everybody has an awesome
amazing
weekend i haven't checked the weather
today i think it's supposed to be
beautiful here in
central tennessee so you know hopefully
i'll be able to get out and do some
some planting for my spring garden and i
hope you guys have something you look
forward to
and i will see you on monday now
remember
that mondays is when i answer
questions so if you have questions about
you know anything mental health
related email those to wellness
underscore one at yahoo.com
that's wellness underscore one at
yahoo.com
and i will use those questions to
fuel the show on monday
have a great day everybody
you