Hi. In this video, I'm going to share five things men do when they fall in love,
in order.
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Hi, it's Matt Shaffer, your empowerment, connection, and relationship coach.
I'm a former attorney who has committed his life to supporting you
and creating these fun, fulfilling, dynamic connections and relationships with men
that you are so worthy of.
I'm really excited about this week's video.
We're going to be diving into five key signs that a man will give you,
in order, if he is falling in love with you.
These are steps and things that men go through
as they escalate up the emotional ladder with someone that they're interested in.
This is stuff I love to talk about with my clients and students.
Before we dive into it, take a second,
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Now let's dive into this video.
The first step that a man has when he's falling in love with you
is he quickly sees your truth.
What I mean by that is from the moment he sees you,
he just sees something that's different in you that he doesn't see in other women.
He sees this deep, authentic being that you truly are.
He sees your magic, he sees your spark,
he sees your unique grace, and he just wants to have it in his life.
A lot of times he's going to see your blessings and your gifts
that maybe you haven't even seen.
He might see that you have a beautiful sense of humor
and he thinks you're hilarious and he's laughing at your jokes,
and you've never even thought of yourself as being that funny.
That's just because you've had blinders on around that gift that you had.
A lot of times they're going to be mirrors for you for some amazing qualities and traits
that you might not even see in yourself.
You can be sure that when a man sees this deep truth and he sees how different you are than other women,
he's going to want to be seeing more of you very soon,
which brings us to step two when a man is falling in love with you is that he will court you.
When I say a man courts you, I mean he operates with focused intention to win your heart.
He truly is in it to win it.
A man who's courting you is going to ask you on thoughtful, specific dates
and he's going to follow through consistently with every one of them.
When you're with them, they're going to be deeply present, deeply connected to you.
They're not going to be checking their phone,
they're not going to be attention flying all over the place,
they're going to be single focus on you.
The energy you're going to feel from a man when he's courting you is that he's really excited.
He's excited to be with you, he's excited to rise to the challenge of being your man.
It doesn't matter what obstacles may be in the way.
Maybe he's got to drive a couple of hours to see you, or you have stuff come up in your life.
No matter what things get thrown at him,
he's willing to overcome them
because he truly is activated and willing to overcome anything to be the man in your life.
The third thing a man does when he's falling in love with you
is he claims you as his woman.
He claims you as his partner, he claims you as his girlfriend
he claims you as the feminine figure in his life.
This is not some creepy possessive territorial thing.
This is just a guy saying that he is so bought in,
he is so activated by what he's experienced from you
that he wants 100% of your emotion, of your energy, and of your attention.
He doesn't want to share you with any other guys.
He really wants to just claim all of you and he's going to ask you for that.
He's going to claim you as his woman and you're going to have an opportunity to say,
"Yes, I'm willing to embark on that journey with you as your partner."
In that moment, when you allow him to claim you,
it's an incredibly polarizing and empowered moment for him as your man,
and it's the beginning of the next level of your relationship.
The fourth step of a man falling in love with you is he fixates on you a little bit.
This can actually happen throughout the process of a man falling for you,
but the longer you're with him, it just gets a little more intense.
The reason that he's fixating on you is that you're constantly in the top of his mind,
and you're always popping up in his head, whether he's with you or not.
You're just going to be emerging throughout his life and behaviors in a couple of interesting ways.
One way you'll be able to see that he's fixating on you a little bit
is if you just have an ongoing running dialogue with him over text message.
It doesn't even matter if he's a big texter or not,
or if he's super busy or not.
If he's making time to text you throughout the day,
he's checking in and seeing what you're up to
and you're just in this relaxed dialogue with each other throughout the day
when you're not together,
it's a sign that he sees you as someone that he just always wants to be connected to,
not just when you're together physically.
He's a little fixated on you but it's not a bad thing,
it's just he enjoys your attention and your energy so much that he just wants to keep getting more of it.
He needs a little steady IV drip of it,
even when he's not around you.
Another way that a guy will demonstrate
that he's a little fixated on you is if he just randomly brings you up in conversation
with people in his life.
For example, if someone says that they're into yoga,
his knee-jerk response is going to be,
"Oh, you're into yoga, cool. Danielle's into yoga, too.
She loves it. She's actually asked me to go next week.
I'm really excited. I think I'm going to try it."
Or if you talk about how you recently switched your diet to being vegan,
he might say, "Oh, I totally understand you being vegan.
Danielle talked to me about it for a couple of hours the other night
and about the dangers of factory farming and it really freaked me out."
If you're unconsciously becoming a topic of conversation
between him and his friends and his family,
even if the conversation isn't about you,
you know that he's a little fixated on you and he's probably fallen in love with you.
The fifth sign that a man is falling in love with you is if he sees a future with you without fear.
Now that he has seen you and he's courted you and he's claimed you,
and he sees you as his partner and the queen in his life,
the next thing he sees is the life ahead of him that he can actually build with you.
For once, he's not afraid of that, he's not afraid of that future.
When a guy sees a future with you and he's not afraid of that prospect anymore,
he's going to start talking to you about it.
He's going to start talking to you about what house that you all could have together,
what part of the country that you want to live in.
Do you want to have kids?
What does that look like?
He's not avoiding those questions anymore
because he's actively using his imagination and visualizing
what his life might look like with you.
It's a beautiful space for a man to be in.
It's an indication that he's falling deeply for you
and he wants you to know it.
He wants to share that with you in an indirect but yet very loving way.
When a man starts doing this,
it's when you know that they have left their fear and resistance
to commitment by the wayside
and they are looking forward to that bright, beautiful future
that they want to build with you.
You might be asking,
"What am I supposed to be doing while a man is going through these steps in these stages?"
It's very simple.
First off, you continually invite them to step forward with positive-feeling statements.
You let them know how much you love
the way that they're courting you,
, whatever specific activities that they're engaging in.
"I love it when you hold the door for me."
"It makes me feel so good when you plan really thoughtful dates for me."
Stuff like that.
You just keep on reinforcing
the actions that they're taking
so that they continue to gain momentum and lead to the next step.
Secondly, and very importantly, you get to allow yourself to receive,
to receive without guilt,
all of that love and affection that you are getting from this man
because, guess what, all it is is a recognition and a reflection of what you're truly worthy of,
of the value that you bring to relationship.
You deserve to be treated this way.
It might be hard at first.
You might have a little resistance to that,
which means it's a great opportunity for you to release
any sense of unworthiness and accept what he wants to give you
because, trust me, we want to give you our love and affection.
All we're asking you to do is open up and just receive it.
Thirdly, and most importantly,
, I want you to enjoy the journey of love without being fixated on the destination.
Can you just enjoy the process of a man falling in love with you,
of you falling in love with him,
of the two of your energies coming together without being preoccupied of
"When are we getting married? When are we moving in together?
What's the timeline of this whole thing?"
Release that and just allow yourself to be in this beautiful co-creative process with him.
Have a beautiful journey with him and stop thinking about the destination.
That will give that love the greatest chance to blossom into something beautiful.
Ladies, to review these five steps that a man goes through
when he's falling in love with you are,
number one, they see your truth.
They see that deep, radiant gift that you are
and they immediately want more of it,
and they start reflecting it back to you in the way that they treat you.
Number two is they court you.
They're operating with focused intent.
They're planning thoughtful dates.
They're very presen when they're with you.
They truly are in it to win it
and they're showing it to you in your energy.
They're not going to let any obstacles get in the way of their pursuit of you
to bring you into their life in a deep way.
Number three, they claim you.
They don't just ask you in a weak way,
"Do you want to go out?" or whatever.
No, they say, "Do you want to be my woman?"
"Do you want to be my queen?"
"Do you want to be the woman in my life?"
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?"
but they say it with authority
because they don't want any other man to have any rights to you anymore.
They're not being jealous or creepy or possessive.
They're just saying,
"I want 100% of your love and attention and affection
because I am completely enamored with you and I am falling for you."
Number four, they fixate on you a little bit.
They want to have a little continual dialogue with you going on and text message.
They're talking to their friends and family about you
unconsciously, bringing you up in responses
because everything anybody else is telling to them is reminding them of you.
You are permeating their consciousness and they literally cannot get enough of you.
Number five, they see a future with you without fear.
All their resistance to intimacy and to building a life with someone has evaporated.
They really see you as their partner and their queen, and they're excited.
They're using their imagination to start envisioning the world
that the two of you can create together.
If a man is demonstrating these signs
signs then you know he is going up that beautiful emotional ladder
towards falling in love with you.
All you get to do is just stay back, receive it,
invite him to continue to step forward, play with him,
engage with him, and just enjoy the ride.
Love is a beautiful journey and if a man is demonstrating these steps,
you know he's in it with you.
I hope you enjoyed this video.
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Thank you so much for stopping by,
and I'll see you in my next video.
Bye-bye.
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