And the title of the sketch is "Right around the Coroner"
Cos he works at the morgue, right?
That's good. So does our host for the evening have anything new?
Yeah, I do.
I've been working on something, that's a little rough, though.
So bear with me okay, guys?
Let's do it.
Alright. It's a short about a budding filmmaker.
You know, he's trying to get his big break, right?
First, things seem to be going pretty well for him.
He's getting work, chasing the dream, but...
Conflict! Exactly, Jerry!
Suddenly it all just goes to shit.
He's struggling financially, he's got writer's block and on top of everything,
his girlfriend leaves him out of the blue.
Anyways, you know... He's okay. He's cool, he's charming.
Why did his girlfriend leave him?
Because she is a spiteful bitch! That is why, Tom!
Anyways, it's all backstory, right?
Let's skip forward to Walmart in Paramus, New Jersey.
Our character stands in the Guns and Ammunition aisle with Glock 19 in his hand.
For the first time in months he feels in control of his life.
That's why he has an epiphany, right?
He's done chasing pipe dreams making movies.
Instead he's gonna rob fucking bank.
This is getting good!
Right? So he maxes out his credit card and buys it. Why not, right?
He'll be filthy rich after he knocks over the bank.
If he's not dead or in jail.
Highly unlikely.
See, he does reconnaissance work for like eight weeks straight.
Finds blueprint of the bank's names, addresses of every security guard and tells them he works there.
And guys, their role, Tom, will probably super cool too.
Maybe he's a perfectionist. That's a fun character trait to work with.
Yeah, sure.
So moving forward, he's got his gun, he's done his research,
now only needs a couple of accomplices.
So one night he let couple of his most trustworthy friends on the plan and they think it's..
A terrible idea!
Wrong, Tom! They think it's a great idea.
Besides their careers aren't going anywhere either.
Let's be honest, friends. But what if one friend didn't want to do it?
Not an option.
You see, once he'd been informed of the plan, it only be a liability.
Loose end.
He's got you there, Tom!
So eventually, is skeptical idiotic friend comes around to the idea
and they decide to go forth of the robbery the day before Thanksgiving.
Banks always clear out their fault on Wednesdays.
So, one friend will go in to help carry out the loop
and the other will idle outside in the station wagon.
Oh my God, if we ever shoot this we'll keep my mom's Volvo.
Great idea, Jerry!
Cut to Wednesday! Cash is being moved from the vault.
Our heroes is going guns blazin, load up on cash, run at Jerry's mom's Volvo
and board a plane to see (?)
They spend the rest their days drinking cheap Mexican beers, getting their bronze on.
That's it! So, Jerry, are you in?
Hell, yeah I love a good high movie!
Right, movie.
What about you, Tom?
I like it, but I'm having trouble relating to the main character.
What do you mean?
Well to be quite frank, I think he's lost his mind.
I disagree. I think he's finally seeing things for what they really are.
It's a weak justification.
And besides, bank robbery..
It's been done a million times and it never works.
Wow, Tom! What about Heat, Point Break, Dog Day Afternoon? Oh, great films!
None of the robbers get away in those films!
So what? That just makes Pit's idea original. Exactly!
Original, really? What about (?) you looked it up straight out of Shawshank Redemption!
Shawshank my ass! Everyone knows that (?)is the Pearl of the Costa Grande.
Bullshit! That's from Shawshank and you know it.
No, it isn't! Yes it is!
No, it isn't!
Yes, it is!
Fine, Tom. I guess there's only one way to settle this then.
You know, he's trying to get this big break, right?
Well to be quite frank, I think he's lost his mind.
Instead he's gonna rob a fucking bank.
I think it's a terrible idea.
Wrong, Tom! They think it's a great idea.
It's a weak justification.
His girlfriend leaves him out of the blue.
It is getting good!
He lost his mind!
I hope you don't have anywhere you need to be.
Fire for blu-ray, Jerry!
142 minutes later
And we lived out the rest of our days and see (?) drinking cheap Mexican beers and getting our bronze on.
Wow, you were right!
I told you.
Do you know what Walmart return policy is?
Cos I kinda made an impulse buy the other day.