- UPS special delivery.
Please sign.
- No, not you again.
What are you doing here?
- Bringing you the mail, you shirmpy idiot.
Now, can you please sign here
and give me a five star rating?
It would really help me out a ton,
I really appreciate it.
- Ahh, what reeks?
- I think it's the box.
- What did you do to it this time?
- It wasn't me, I promise.
It was totally like this when I got it.
(playful music)
(glass breaks)
(box crashes)
(cheers)
(glass breaks)
- Well I'll be a son of a gun, you did it.
Here's your $5 bucks, Mike Tyson.
Well, maybe it wasn't exactly like this
but the thrilly part sure wasn't me.
Thanks, buddy.
- Dude, did you really just give him five stars?
- Nah, they're not real stars, Pear.
Here are six stars.
Little Apple, here's 20 zillion stars.
Try eating them, maybe they'll
make you big and strong.
(laughs)
(screams)
- Congratulations, you're our one millionth visitor.
- I am?
- You are.
And that means you win.
- All right!
I won! I won!
I knew I could do it.
Oh, I just want to thank all you guys
for always believing I could do it.
Oh, I'm giving this guy a star for sure.
- Does this seem fishy to anyone?
- Umm, wow, rude.
- Get back in the box, this is my con.
- Meh!
- Come to think of it, yeah.
How can Orange be your millionth
visitor if you're in our kitchen?
- You're just jealous you didn't win first prize.
Hey, Spam-A-Lot, how do I get my prize?
- I just need your social and address
and the prize is yours.
- Come on, Orange, you even know what you're winning?
And why does he need your home address?
He's already in your home.
- Boo-yah.
- Perfect, I'll just go get your prize and...
(high-pitched whistle)
- That was weird.
- Greetings, friends.
I come bearing good news from the east.
I am a Saudi Prince, you see,
and my fortune has become too much to bear
and you seem like a worthy friend to give it to.
- Oh, yeah!
Easy money.
How much you giving me?
- How much you want?
- A bafillion dollars.
- Well, shoot (clears throat) you're wish is my command.
I just need your bank account number,
social security number, check routing number,
ahh, to sort these things through.
- Well, I don't have a bank account.
But Pear does!
Take his.
- Dude!
- It's okay, Pear.
I can share some of it with you.
- Many thanks, friend.
Allow me to get your fortune.
- Oh, my eyes aren't as perfect as they used to be
but, is that Orange I see?
- In the peel.
Do I know you?
- No, dear, but I'm a friend of your grandmother's.
- How's she doing?
- Oh, she's quite sick I'm afraid.
Low on Vitamin C.
She asked me to swing by and borrow some money for medicine.
- Oh, no!
Well, I'm all out of money.
Pear's bank account is dry.
- What?
Since when?
- Since about 20 seconds ago.
- Let's get that savings account too
if he's got that much money in it.
(clears throat)
That's normal, yes, International Transfers and all.
Nothing shady going on at all.
- Well, perhaps I could just take a few trinkets
back to cheer her up.
Let's see, maybe this magnet.
This spatula's pretty nice.
Isn't that the sweetest miniature apple?
- Ahh, I'm not a trinket.
- Sorry, munchkin.
It's the eyes.
Let's see, anything else I can take?
- Frying Pan?
- Hmm, well yeah, that does go with the spatula.
But how would I carry it?
- No, Frying Pan!
(screams)
(sizzles)
(screams)
- Oh, stop it, it burns like, ahh.
- Oh, gross.
They smell even worse when they're cooked.
- Ahh, no!
How am I gonna win my, umm, my.
What did I even win, again?
- You didn't win anything, dude.
It was all a scam.
And you wiped out my bank accounts.
- I'm sorry.
But don't worry, I'll refill your accounts.
- Really?
- With stars!
- Ahh.
- Great idea number 2,050.
Muffins are no longer allowed into the kitchen.
(glass breaks)
- Why wouldn't we allow muffins in the kitchen?
- Because some muffins, not all muffins but some muffins,
have poppyseeds.
- That's true.
- Okay, and what's wrong with poppyseeds in muffins?