Any of you guys scared of birds?
Granted - they’re frantic and they’ve got beady eyes, but - not so much scary as
they are annoying.
Well, how about a bird the size of a skyscraper - that’s also a prehistoric atomic monster
bird, capable of achieving supersonic flight and leveling cities with a flap of its wings.
Scared now?
Well - don’t worry, because all it wants to do is settle down on it’s own private
island and be at peace.
Maybe.
Hopefully - fingers crossed.
Hello internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions.
As always - I’ll be your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch - and today, we’re sliding
back into the chaotic world of the kaiju - and quizzically asking the question - What If
Rodan Was Real?
Roll the clip.
Now - here at LBQ - you know for a fact that we love a hypothetical kaiju monster battle
showdown - most of which often end in the levelling of a few cities, underwater cataclysmic
events - hellfire, or a destructive combination of the three.
But what if it didn’t have to be that way?
What if our planet was held under the sway and influence of a gigantic, all powerful
- yet brave and loyal monster?
What if somewhere - tucked away in a remote pacific archipelago of islands - was a creature
that would fight tooth and nail in the defense of civilization.
Alright - perhaps not because it wanted to - but, well - when you’re a big, prehistoric
atomic monster bird - there’s not much else to do.
Before we soar into those Rodan wrought skies though folks - you know the drill by now.
If you’re a fan of this video, the Kaiju - Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Rodan - or
any of their equally terrifying best friends - then please, be a dear and make sure you
hit that thumbs up button - as well as that subscribe bell, so you can stay up to date
with our latest and greatest uploads.
Also - we’d just like to extend our absolutely mammoth thanks to all of our subscribers - old
and new - we couldn’t have hit a milly without you all, so cheers for sticking around.
Double also - make sure to hang about all the way to the end of this video - where we’ll
be reading out some of your more humorous comments from the past few days.
Alright - let’s lay down the groundwork.
Also known as Monster Zero-Two, Fire Rodan, The Atomic Monster Bird - and The One Born
of Fire.
In Japanese, this guys name is actually Radon - being a contraction of pteranodon - and
being a linguistic nod to the radioactive origins of the Kaiju.
In North America though - it’s Rodan - because, eh - why not.
Measuring in between a staggering 50 to 100 metres, and weighing in at between 15 thousand
and 30 thousand metric tonnes - it’s safe to say that Rodan is a pretty thicc boi.
But it’s not really his stature that we’re concerned about - because as this Kaiju has
demonstrated time and time again, he’s pretty well seasoned with the old knocking buildings
over and smashing fighter jets out of the sky with a slap of the wing.
Rodan’s most noticeable trait is his legendary flying speed - which allows him to effortlessly
outmaneuver and outrun supersonic jets.
Put it this way - the fastest flight air speed ever achieved on record was the Lockheed SR-71
Blackbird back in 1976 which clocked in at a staggering 2193 miles per hour.
Yeah - that’s a walk in the park for the Atomic Monster Bird - or, well - a flap in
the park, I guess?
Since then - most of our advancements have been in surface to atmosphere hypersonic jet
flight, but come on - you’re not going to be chasing Rodan around the planet in a SpaceX
Falcon-9 rocket - you need something that can at least do a stylish barrel roll.
But that’s by the by really - because what would be the point in trying to take Rodan
down?
As we known from the Kaiju’s Showa series - that’s never really ended well.
In his cinematic debut - in the 1956 tokusatsu kaiju film - even the trailer makes it very
plain and simple.
Supersonic jets cannot catch him!
Rockets cannot stop him!
Armored tanks are helpless before him!
Even guided missiles are powerless!
Well - yeah, that’s a lot of resources to be spending - and if we know anything from
the events of the 1956 film, we know that even destroying him and his girlfriend in
a volcano only serves to annoy him - and extend his reign of beastial destruction for a few
more years.
Because here’s the point - we wouldn’t want to be enemies with Rodan - we’d want
to be his friend - and when you boil it all down, he’s a pretty simple guy to get to
know.
It was during the events of the 1964 movie Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster - that
Rodan began to show his true colours.
Throughout the film, the evil cosmic villain King Ghidorah reigns death and destruction
on planet Earth - and the only kaiju willing to defend humanity is the serene and powerful
Mothra - who is no match for King Ghidorah alone - but knows that if herself, Godzilla
and Rodan team up for the sake of mankind - they can take down King Ghidorah and the
planet will be saved.
Thankfully - Mothra convinces Rodan and Godzilla that humanity is worth saving and that Earth
belongs to all creatures equally - and the trifecta of noble kaiju save the day.
If Rodan was real - our best bet would to be the best global roommate we could hope
to be.
We’d literally have a sentient space-dragon who’s only need and desire is to chill out
on a remote pacific island - sipping cocktails, probably, or something.
Humanity should be scrambling to make the Atomic Monster Bird as comfortable as they
could make him.
Global summits should be held on how we could best appease our winged neighbour.
We should get to know him as best as we can, and hope to high heaven that he sticks around.
Because here's the crux of the whole scenario - humans, if anything, are really- really
good at killing things.
Rodan would cause a lot of destruction if he was our enemy - he’d for sure wipe a
few cities off the map with ease.
But eventually, inevitably we’d find a way to destroy him.
BUT - and it’s a very big BUT - why would we ever want to throw away the hypothetical
chance at having a true, planetary defender and a guardian of our skies - because, heck
- when the alien invasion rolls around, we’ll all be hoping we had a few kaiju to save the
day.
Well - there we have it folks.
How do you think events would play out if Rodan or the rest of the kaiju were real?
Let us know your thoughts in the comment box below.
Before we depart, let’s take a look at some of your more creative comments from the past
few days.
First off - Lord Petar says - what if jack finch didn’t exist - and, well Lord Petar
- I’d love to answer that question fully but your profile picture is Teemo - and that
tells me that you’re a whole different kind of evil.
Sorry buddy, I’m not overextending into that mushroom patch.
-- In regard to our What If The Sun Was Green video - Dirtneck Gaming says - What movie
was that clip from?
Well friend, that clip was from Danny Boyle’s awesome 2007 film - Sunshine.
We just - err - well we turned it green.
If you haven’t seen it, check it out - it’s not in green though so don’t worry.
-- Sandra Deras says - what’s inquisitive!!? - well Sandra, the word inquisitive is defined
as someone eager to acquire knowledge - or better described as curious.
I hope that clears things up for you.
Thanks for sticking around all the way to the end questioneers - don’t forget to hit
that thumbs up button - and we’ll be seeing you in the next one.
As per usual, I’ve been your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch - you’ve been
watching Life’s Biggest Questions - and until next time, you take it easy.