Hello Internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions - the only place on the world wide web where you can slide open the
fourth wall - question your own sanity before tragically realising that, no, nope - no one’s
listening.
What’s going on Questioneers - as always I’ll be your disembodied floating voice
Jack Finch - as we existentially prod a self-aware 2D immortal superhero - and comically ask
the marvellous question - What If Deadpool Was Real?
Roll the clip.
Now before we tackle this behemoth of a reality bending question, I’ve got a question for
you - oo, spooky - double-questioning bonanza - it’s simple, really though.
Over here at Life’s Biggest Questions - we’d like to find out what makes you guys tick,
and what topics and themes you’d like to see covered in our next series of videos.
Why don’t you slap down a monkey’s paw in the comment section below - be careful
what you wish for - and maybe we’ll just read out your best suggestions or witty remarks
in our next video.
Also - we’ve got to do the old bamboo once again, and you know how it is by now - if
you’re a fan of this video, Deadpool, the Marvel Universe - or just Life’s Biggest
Questions in general - please, be a dear and hit that thumbs up button - as well as that
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Deadpool is a great superhero.
Fact.
Now I’m not in the business for bashing on any comic book hero - because they’re
a great bunch for the most part - but Deadpool stands apart on an island of individuality
- a fundamentally original and unique incarnation of Stan Lee’s Marvel Universe.
Wade Wilson AKA The Merc with a Mouth - had a pretty grim inception, and his origin story
is mired with painful scars, both physically and mentally.
One of those scars is the burden of self awareness - and before we ask What if Deadpool Was Real
- we have to acknowledge the fact that he’d more than likely be aware of us asking this
question.
Which is - woah.
Wade, can you hear me?
Erm - alright buddy, let’s keep that to a minimum shall we?
The proto Deadpool - as we know him, and, well - as he knows himself - was birthed in
Canada in the form of Department K - a special weapons development branch of the Canadian
government - and part of the joint U.S Canadian superhuman enhancement project - Weapon X.
He was offered hope after developing 34 inoperable cancerous tumors - and his cancer was arrested
after being implemented with a certain well known mutants healing powers.
I’ll give you a guess.
Hold up - Wade, I’m narrating this buddy.
After a disastrous mutant led mission - Wade’s healing factor began to destabilize - bringing
his cancer back from remission and causing his trademark fleshy deformities.
Yeah - sorry about that one.
As a result he was rejected from the Weapon X program and sent to the suspiciously named
Hospice - allegedly a government facility for failed superhuman operatives to live out
the remainder of their short lives.
Unbeknownst to the Canadian government though, the Hospice was under the influence of Doctor
Killebrew - yeah, obvious surname is obvious - and his sadistic assistant Ajax.
Long story short, Wade Wilson didn’t have the greatest time while under the care of
Doctor Killebrew and Ajax - as you can imagine - and to cut a longer story shorter, while
there Wade and his fellow patients placed bets in a dead - pool - wagering against how
long the each of them would live.
Hence the name - Deadpool.
Yeah, it’s funny how those things work out, eh?
This is where our question splits into two distinct sections.
Firstly, Deadpool as a real life figure, and how his self awareness would affect his reality
- and secondly, how our civilization would harness the power of an immortal, self-regenerating
Big Dee Pee - because let’s not beat around the bush, if Deadpool was real - he’d be
locked up in a science lab being farmed for organic tissue like a beautiful bald, hairless
- fleshy turkey.
As Rene Descartes once beautifully said - Cogito, ergo sum - I think, therefore I am.
On the basis of that philosophical proposition, this isn’t a hypothetical Life’s Biggest
Question at all - and as far as Deadpool goes, this is his own reality.
It also gets crazier because, to steal a Shower Thought from reddit user bubonis - If a toy
Deadpool appeared in a Toy Story movie - then he’d be aware that he’s a toy in a Toy
Story movie - plus, he would know that his Toy self is a character from another movie
- that’s also aware that he’s in a movie from a comic book - PLUS - he’d know that
his existence is entirely owned by Disney.
That’s like 24 broken walls and holy moly my head hurts.
Also, he’d also be aware that he’s the subject of a YouTube video that’s referencing
his own reference to those 24 broken walls of reality, so that’s like 32 walls - and,
man, my head hurts.
It’s in our second section - where Deadpool would truly be a superhero - and lead the
way to a new era of genetic medical breakthroughs.
Well, that’s if we could get him to be complicit of course - although I’m sure he’d be
down for lending a helping hand, considering that throughout Deadpool Vol. 3 he’s more
than willing to give out blood and tissue samples - even if it does take a few kidnappings.
Sorry, Wade - you’re pretty much back to square one.
If Deadpool began his story by being forcefully kept in an experimental scientific facility
- painstakingly being tested on and constantly poked and prodded - then that’s ultimately
how he’d end, too.
The power of a regenerative healing factor is just far too - well, powerful - paving
the way to a world where constant organ production is a real possibility.
Need a new heart?
Thanks Mr. Deadpool.
Lost your arm in an amateur chainsaw juggling contest?
Thanks Mr. Deadpool.
It’d be great - really.
What do you think, Wade?
Wait - Wade, where are you going?
I’ll take that as a maybe then.
Well, unfortunately folks - you heard the man, that’s all we’ve got time for in
today’s video - but before we depart, let’s read out some of the funniest stuff you guys
have had to say.
Duy Lai says - Hey LBQ can you answer my question - Who was our first ancestor?
Well Duy Lai, that’s a broad question with many different answers, but science’s best
bet at the moment is Ardi - a female hominid that lived over 4.4 million years ago - which
is pretty damn old.
Israel Savellano asks - What if everyone farted at the same time?
Well, buddy - let’s hope we never find out - but huge props for such an insightful question,
it’s that kind of thinking that got us to the Moon.
Cheers for sticking around all the way to the end guys - as always, I’ve been your
host Jack Finch - you’ve been watching Life’s Biggest Questions - and until next time, you
take it easy.