Previously on the "Frank Ruins Movie Trailers" program...
I cannot do another take
Why?
'Cause I just pooped in the booth
YOU WILL NOT CRAP IN THE BOOTH AGAIN!
-Double dueces
-NOO!
Greetings, studio nerd.
ok right why are you giggling like a schoolgirl
because I pretty crap the booth uh-huh now you've been used
how does it feel this is my manager shelly Porter works for a little agency
you may have heard of called William Morris so sorry this is the type of this
game with breaking I play
I'll clean it up it's my I mean I made it I'm you know all this
proper working condition no it's okay Shelly is actually retarded
he does a great job all things considered how about you and I just meet
at the restaurant or me the steak tartare well done
oh just face it make you're never going to outsmart me
I didn't mother pre poop though a bold strategy indeed
Breaking Dawn Part 2 voiceover take one speaking it turns out I oh yeah
just when you thought it couldn't get any dumber stephenie meyer's epic tale
of vampires with no balls
crawls to the finish line after 18 years of being utterly awarded i found i could
be ordinary forever
yeah look at me I'm Peter Pan
and temperature boring degrees Fahrenheit
whatever temperature paint dries out that's what you are
and I expect you to see himself
you oh no it's taylor lautner back for more and that spy movie turn out Taylor
is actually quite good film this kid makes wilmer valderama look like the
nearer oh whatever
is it you gonna read me copy you just gonna take the piss out of the action I
think we're gonna do both Nigel that you know the drill by now my name is not
Nigel watch his case stupid hasty Leafs to case you date a studio Pikachu and
robert pattinson wrap up the franchise for which they can barely hide their
disdain
I have to report a crime kinds oh it's Liam Neeson's daughter from taking my
favorite film
listen to me carefully Kim you're going to be taken by fun pires I'm i teach you
but they'll probably just bore you to death
I'm a twinkle in the sunlight put your mother Lenore on the phone
she's going to be taken to go see my new film taken to please Frank will bail as
half-wit father finally figure out what's going on
well Edward finally figure out what that smell is
what America's appetite for mediocrity finally be satisfied with this epic pile
of cinematic feces they are shine
watch as Edward and Bella oh is that low key yeah a vampire road trip back your
sunscreen we're going to see at all
find out who killed Rosie Larsen I there oh here come the Druids bengali been now
been your oven to the truth
we can sort of us you can't reason with the Volturi son
I don't even like this garbage and I know that sounds like you know a lot
about these movies
look I've got small pups and they're obsessed with this and my colleagues on
forced to watch a lot of rubbish you pups watch ICarly yes they want to eat
your face let's move on shall we
the head would recruit more abercrombie & fitch models to join the vampire
softball team where the fat goth kids
not a shred of realism here yeah that's what the whole thing falls apart for me
no fat goth kids can you try to say something positive so we can get one
usable line now this a cgi will look like real cgi the dialogue will make you
laugh
the acting will make you cry I know that bloke has been booking everything later
why didn't you get costing this I want to talk about it who did a touch on a
sensitive area
speaking of sensitive areas why did I eat those two burritos for breakfast and
don't you dare
and they weren't even breakfast burritos just being in cheese flavor from
7-eleven and they are not getting along with the venti cappuccino in my stomach
I don't care if I go to prison Frank I will straight up murder you if you crap
the booth again so it's okay for you to crap in the booth but no one else is
that it did for a laugh
and for revenge I learned it by watching you will cheat on your father with any
old director who comes along
k slut with sergeant pepper's lonely vampire band with fruity and sometimes
we glow
Red Rover Red Rover let werewolves come over breaking wind number to see it if
you accidentally swallowed poison and need to vomit
Breaking Dawn Part aching dong part 2 rated x werewolf nuts
see it with your horny on Dickie dollar so they can be afraid of six take a
crying baby take a kindle so you have options
take a pillow take a dump in the booth white what yes kiddie how in God's name
do you keep getting hired
I don't get hired for this gig I just came in a mess with you
Frank didn't book this job
who the hell did testin one two three now I you in a booth a little boy he
would live on now
thomas young pecorino pepper Yankees it'll pop up by the way more than just
that's also this boot smells like a monkey house doing a tijuana heat wave
Oh Empire will be for the better fucking kill myself or anything in here