- [Voiceover] These are the people
on Facebook who need to shut up.
The liberal hippie girl.
- The police are an organization
sanctioned to oppress us by our government,
and we're just supposed to take that?
- [Voiceover] The ultra conservative guy.
- Thing is, if you give them welfare,
you disincentivize them to work.
- [Voiceover] And the guy who thinks they're both wrong.
- Okay, America was never supposed
to be a two-party system.
That's why we need Ron Paul.
- [Voiceover] Girls who post party pics.
There's nothing wrong with it except
for the fact it's the same pictures every weekend.
And then it gets really weird when you see this guy,
your friend from eighth grade.
He's closer to his 30s, yet he keeps partying
with 19 year olds.
Then there's this girl,
the workout enthusiast.
She just posts pictures of her nice, fit body.
We get it, you're hot.
Parents who are obsessed with their kids.
You post a bunch of pictures, and it's annoying.
What's more annoying is people who complain
about parents who are obsessed with their kids.
You are the worst.
And then there's this guy.
- I just wanted to let you all know
that my grandma died.
- [Voiceover] The pity seeker.
- Also my dog died, and I'm not looking
for your sympathy, I'm more looking for a date,
because I'm single.
- [Voiceover] And know what's even worse
than the pity seeker?
- You see this car?
- [Voiceover] The (censorship beeps) show off!
- New promotion, I know, I know, I know,
it's pretty awesome.
- I'm getting married! (laughs)
- [Voiceover] Your ex-girlfriend.
I should have given you that ring.
The person who keeps promising they're going to change.
- I've learned my lesson guys.
I swear to God, never ever partying again.
- [Voiceover] He doesn't mean it, not at all.
The guy who thinks Facebook
is his own standup comedy show.
And if you don't think he's funny,
he's going to hit you with this:
- And I'm not really sure that you would get it.
It's a little meta and --
- [Voiceover] You suck dude!
- [Voiceover] And worst of them all --
- You suck, oh my God...
- [Voiceover] The guy who's too cool for Facebook.
He hates on everything about it,
yet he's still on it.
- You suck!