- There is an extremely common mistake
that parents make that results in their baby being awake
and having much more broken sleep
than they actually need to.
In this video, I'm going to explain what that mistake is
and what you should do instead.
Now, this is all related to the different stages
of your baby's sleep,
which is in fact quite different to yours and mine.
As adults, we are actually paralyzed
for a significant amount of time while we're asleep.
And that's because while we're in REM sleep,
the voluntary muscles of our body are paralyzed.
And the reason for this is
because REM sleep is a really active sleep state.
The brain is very active
and our dreams are at their most intense.
And so as a protective mechanism to prevent our body
from acting out what's going on during our dreams
the body experiences sleep paralysis
and that effectively stops us from harming ourselves.
However, newborns don't yet experience sleep paralysis,
which means when they are in REM sleep
they move around a lot.
And they also make noises, grunting, a spontaneous cry,
smiling, frowning, or sudden body movements,
are really common
when they're in this active stage of sleep.
And it usually looks a little like this.
(screen whooshing)
(baby moaning)
(screen whooshing)
And here is where the mistake comes in,
if you saw your newborn doing this,
you would probably assume that they're awake
and rush in to comfort them.
But, knowing what you now know about newborns
and active sleep, you won't be surprised to hear that
in a lot of cases, the newborn is actually still asleep.
And if you just wait a little while longer
this is what usually happens.
(screen whooshing)
(baby moaning and then going quiet)
(screen whooshing)
By rushing in at the first sound or sign of movement,
there is a good chance that your baby is still sleeping
and you're actually waking them up when you enter the room.
So the immediate effect of this
is that you now have a newborn who is awake
that has had a shorter nap than they would've otherwise had.
And as a result, they're probably a little bit grumpy
and cranky as well.
But it doesn't end there,
if this happens regularly,
your baby may develop a habit where brief arousals
turn into full blown waking sessions.
(screen whooshing)
All right, now let's talk about
how you avoid falling into this trap?
But before we get into it,
if you haven't already,
make sure you download the free new "Parents Guide to Naps"
by clicking the link in the description box below.
So to avoid falling into this trap,
the answer is to pause
when your baby first starts moving around, grunting,
or making noises instead of rushing in immediately.
Now, I want to be very clear here,
I am not telling you to
or advocating for letting your baby cry it out.
This is simply about understanding how newborns sleep
and adjusting your response based on that.
So, we know that newborns are noisy sleepers
and they sometimes let out little cries in their sleep.
We also know that they wake briefly between sleep cycles
but if they are still tired, and comfortable,
and not hungry, they're going to drift back to sleep
as long as they are not interrupted.
So the key is to pause!
Pausing is watching and listening to your baby
whether that is through a monitor
or by quietly entering their room
and observing them for a few minutes.
And just a quick note,
if you do want to enter your baby's room,
you really need to make sure
that you have some form of white noise on
and this is because if they are in that REM stage of sleep,
they are going to startle and awaken from any noises.
Also, you really want to make sure that you stay out
of their line of sight, because if they see movement
or you when they briefly open their eyes
in that REM stage of sleep,
they may actually wake up and become alert.
And lastly, you do want to make sure that you go in quietly,
so don't talk because here's something interesting,
researchers have actually found
that babies aroused more easily in response
to their mother's voice than a smoke alarm,
so try not to talk to your little one.
Now, as you observe your baby,
you're listening to the sounds that they are making
and you're looking at their movements to help inform you
if your baby actually needs your attention
or if they're just making noises
or moving around during their REM sleep.
If you notice your baby is getting more restless
and they're starting to cry,
then it is highly likely that they're awake
and of course, you need to comfort them.
But, what you will find quite often
is the movements actually slow down
and their noises gradually reduce,
and they will continue sleeping.
So the next time you do hear your baby grunting
or moving around in their sleep,
make sure you pause and see what is happening.
This pause could make the world a difference
to your baby's sleep routine.
And if you're still struggling with sleep,
watch this video next to learn seven of my favorite tips
to quickly improve your newborn sleep.
I hope you found this video helpful
and I will see you next week.