South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut is considered by many to be one of the best big screen
adaptations of an animated television series ever created. From memorable musical numbers,
hilariously quotable lines and very sharp satire, Bigger, Longer and Uncut is also
considered by many to be the turning point of the series and the moment the
show really started to hit its stride. So let’s take a look at the characters’
actions from the little mountain town when they’re brought to the silver screen.
I'm Kyle with WickedBinge and this is South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Characters: Good to Evil.
Just so we're clear, we're ranking the characters on
this list based on their actions within the film.
With that out of the way, let's start off our list beginning with
the most moral characters and working our way down to the Evil!
The Gold Medal of Good beyond a shadow of a doubt is being awarded to Kenny. Prior to this film,
Kenny was mostly defined by four things; his muffled speech, many deaths, crude sense of humor
and elaborate knowledge of sexual terminology. While all of those traits are on display in
the movie, this also marks the first time Kenny displayed his heroism which has been a defining
part of his character ever since. After lighting himself on fire via a fart, Kenny dies and is
sent to Hell where he has to deal with Satan and Sadam Hussain. While initially scared of the duo,
Kenny starts to sympathize with Satan and give him advice upon realizing how Sadam is using
the dark lord to take over Earth. That's right, Kenny is so good hearted that he will comfort
the lord of all evil which we think is saying a lot. When Satan finally sticks up to Saddam at
the end if the film, he grants Kenny one wish. Instead of wishing to be brought back to life,
Kenny makes the selfless decision to erase all the damage caused by the horrible war
between the USA and Canada. Granted, Kenny probably knew he was eventually going to
come back to life anyway since he always does but regardless, he could have wished
for something else selfish and materialistic so we still consider this an incredibly noble act.
This is the moment beyond any other that really solidifies Kenny's Gold Medal on our countdown.
We're giving the Silver Medal of Good to Brian Boitano. South Park has parodied many celebrities
throughout the years but by far the one who has been portrayed the most positively is
Olympic skater Brian Boitano. This was actually technically the first celebrity to ever appear
in South Park, being the voice of reason in the original Spirit of Christmas short film. Whenever
the kids lose their way in this film they ask (in song) what would Brian Boitano do which inspires
them to start La Resistance. During said musical number, we find out that Brian Boitano apparently
saved maidens from Grizzly bears using his magical fire breath and traveled through time
to save the human race from an evil robot king. The Bronze Medal of Good is going to Stan. Stan,
Kyle and Cartman are tasked with sticking up to their mothers to save Terrance and Philip from
being executed. Out of the three, Stan is usually the one to take charge with Kyle being afraid of
his mom and Cartman being lazy and selfish. Granted, a large part of this is due to Stan
wanting to impress Wendy and he does get way too preoccupied with this goal sometimes. Regardless,
Stan does genuinely believe in his cause and wants to save his two favorite comedians from
an untimely demise. Stan has always kind of been the leader of the group and here
he takes on that role more seriously than he ever has before. Stan also knows how to raise
morale of those around him such as when he encourages Kyle to stick up to his mother or
when he volunteers to put himself in danger by distracting the crowd at the USO show.
Up next, we have Kyle. Much like Stan, Kyle is one of the driving forces behind La Resistance who are
working to save Terrance and Philip from being executed. While this is certainly a noble goal,
Kyle takes charge in this situation a lot less than Stan does. This is partially because Stan
is trying to impress Wendy but also because Kyle is too afraid to stand up to his own
mother. To be fair, Kyle's fear is incredibly justified considering his mom started a war
with Canada and almost got everyone killed over curse words in an R-rated movie. Even so,
Kyle fights for what he believes is right and even learns to stick up to Shelia when Terrance
and Philip are about to be murdered. Much like in the show, Kyle demonstrates a great deal
of integrity even though his more emotional side makes him quicker to anger than say Stan or Kenny.
Mr. Mackey takes the next spot. Much like the rest of the adults in South Park, Mr. Mackey
dedicates himself to teaching the children to not use foul language. The difference in this case
is that Mr. Mackey doesn't resort to violence, murder or war to accomplish this task. Instead,
Mackey teaches the kids a lesson through an upbeat song which the students really enjoy. Granted,
this doesn't work as the kids go back and watch the Terrance and Philip movie immediately after
this song finishes but it's the thought that counts. Mr. Mackey is consistently one of the
more admirable authority figures in South Park and his role in the feature film is no exception.
Next on our countdown is Chef. Being one of the more promiscuous adults in South Park,
Chef is less concerned with censoring language than many other residents of
the quiet mountain town. Nevertheless, Chef does get drafted into the war against Canadians where
he is assigned to a very racist human shield unit. When it comes time for the final battle,
it's revealed that Chef taught the other members of his battalion safety measures to
ensure he and them wouldn't be killed. This makes Chef a war hero of sorts,
possibly more so than anyone else involved in the battle. That said, we are docking Chef some
points for, once again, giving Stan some very inappropriate advice for an 8 year old boy.
Wendy is up next. While not exactly the most proactive character in the film, Wendy definitely
lands on the side of Good for sticking up for freedom of speech and fighting against censorship.
Even though Wendy had been firmly established as Stan's girlfriend on the television series
at this point, the movie seems to imply that they are not together yet. She spends a lot
of time with Gregory and seems to admire him for his strong political beliefs and proactive nature.
Despite this, she does get annoyed later due to Gregory's condescending attitude toward Stan and
eventually reveals that she never really cared for him. If Wendy had played a more proactive
role in the film's story rather than rallying behind either Stan or Gregory, we'd be willing
to rank her even higher. As it stands, she still has a solid spot in the Good category.
Farting their way into the next spot are Terrance and Philip. The popular comedy duo from Canada
are known for their crude and explicit humor which entertains many but ruffles the feathers
of others. Being the representation of South Park within the show's universe,
Terrance and Philip are rude, immature and vulgar but to be fair, they are really just
looking to make people laugh. After the duo are unfairly targeted and taken prisoner by
the Mothers Against Canada, Terrance and Philip never beg for mercy or bow down to those trying
to take their free speech away. We won't act like two guys farting on each other
are going to be winning any prizes for their nobility but their goal of making people laugh
regardless of whatever life-threatening obstacles they face is quite admirable.
Rounding out the Good category we have Gregory. One of the few original characters in this film
to not appear in the television show, Gregory is a British transfer student who attends Mr.
Garrison's class and spends a lot of his time courting Wendy. A highly intelligent
and proficient child, Gregory is the one who comes up with the plan to rescue Terrance
and Philip from being executed at the USO show. Even though he doesn't partake in a lot of foul
language like the other kids, he still believes in standing up against censorship and stopping
the war that is breaking out. All of this is admirable but the reason Gregory lands at the
bottom of the Good category due to his incredibly condescending attitude. He considers everyone
else in his class to be uncivilized rouges and whenever Stan fails to rescue Terrance and Philip,
Gregory remarks that he shouldn't have "sent a boy to do a man's job." Gregory's efficiency
and willingness to devise a plan to save Terrance and Philip land him in the Good
category even if his personality makes him come across as unlikable on a personal level.
Now that we've covered the Good category, let's get into the Gray Area. Theae are characters whose
morality shifts between Good and Evil throughout the runtime of Bigger, Longer and Uncut.
Digging his way to the top of the Gray Area is Christophe, better known under his alias The Mole.
When Stan, Kyle and Cartman plan to infiltrate the USO show, the enlist in the help of a kid known
as The Mole at the behest of Gregory. While an efficient infiltrator who helps out La Resistance,
The Mole is also defined by his incredibly cynical attitude and hatred toward God who
he blames on all of his problems. He has a tendency to be quite aggressive toward Stan,
Kyle and Cartman, all of which point out how noticeably unstable he is. Still,
we have to say The Mole lands closer to the Good category for his attempt to save Terrance
and Philip from being executed, even putting his own life on the line and dying in the process.
Ruling over the next spot is the prince of darkness himself,
Satan. One of the most surprisingly sympathetic characters in this film,
Satan initially appears to be incredibly evil as he plots to take over the world upon the deaths
of Terrance and Philip. While this is far from a respectable goal, the film eventually reveals
that what Satan really wants to live on Earth instead of being damned for all eternity which is
much more understandable. Most of Satan's evil acts in this film are under the influence of
Saddam Hussain who is much more malicious than Satan himself. Throughout the help of Kenny,
Satan learns to stick up to Saddam and even reverts the world back to normal to prevent
the effects of the war from occurring. We still have to put him in the Gray Area due to Satan's
initial plans for world conquest but we're happily he finally came around in the end.
Rounding out the Gray Area is a character usually reserved for the Bad to Evil,
that being Cartman. While Cartman is as crude, selfish, bigoted and vindictive as he's always
been, he does partake in some heroic actions throughout the course of the film. This is most
prominent during the film's climax wherein he fights Saddam Hussain with electricity
using the malfunctioning V-chip in his head. He joins La Resistance to save Terrance and Philip,
both to protect his favorite comedians and to remove the V-chip from his head.
While all of the kids are particularly vulgar in this movie, Cartman naturally has the dirtiest
mouth of all, creating an entire song dedicated to disparaging Kyle's mother. Cartman was also
the first to reveal that they learned this language from the Terrance and Philip movie,
thus causing the mothers in South Park to declare war against Canada.
Now that we've tackled the Gray Area let's get to the
true antagonists of this story. This section is the Bad to Evil!
The Bronze Medal of Evil is going to Sheila. By far the most reactionary mother in South Park,
Sheila is the driving force of Mothers Against Canada, an organization she formed upon realizing
that her son learned curse words from watching Terrance and Philip. As the film progresses,
Sheila goes from bad to worse, declaring war on Canada and captured Terrance and Philip to execute
them. Shelia has a tendency to blame everyone else but herself for her problems which escalates to
disastrous results. Near the end of the film, she even shoots both Terrance and Philip in the head
herself, allowing Satan and Saddam Hussain to be released from the underworld. Needless to say,
we fully understand why Kyle appears to be so afraid of Shelia and he’s right in saying that
she won’t listen to anyone but herself. The only reason Sheila doesn’t rank any lower is because
she does have a revelation at the end of the movie where she learns the error of her ways, so we can
say she is somewhat reformed. Even so, if it wasn’t for Kenny’s selfless wish, Shelia would
have brought a heap of irreversible destruction the likes which the world had never seen.
The Silver Medal of Evil is awarded to General Plymkin. Shelia may have been the one to declare
war on Canada but General Plymkin is the one who planned out the attack in
detail. Not only were his methods of attack quite ruthless but General Plymkin is even
willing to sacrifice his own men as shields. All done in the most racist way imaginable.
On top of his overt racism, General Plymkin is also unnecessarily violent at times,
best demonstrated when he shoots Bill Gates in the face for his computer being too slow.
Finally, the Gold Medal of Evil easily has to go to Saddam Hussain. While Saddam Hussain is easily
one of the funniest and most memorable character portrayals in South Park history, he also ranks
among the most disgusting and evil, largely due to his portrayal in this film. After being killed by
a pack of wild boars, Saddam ends up in Hell where he starts a relationship with Satan himself. While
he claims to love the big red demon, it is very clear to Kenny and eventually Satan that Saddam is
mostly using him for sex and to become the ruler of the Earth once Satan travels to the surface.
While Saddam doesn’t directly murder anyone himself throughout Bigger, Longer and Uncut, he
does plan on enslaving the entire human race through the use of Satan which we consider
to be even worse. Saddam Hussain is evil, mentally unstable and violent making him
an easy choice for the Gold Medal of Evil. With our morality spectrum complete…. Let’s
wrap things up by awarding some sinner medals. The Pride Medal has to go to Greggory, for
his huge ego and need to talk down to everyone. The Wraith Medal easily goes to Sheila… I mean,
she started a war with Canada over bad words in a movie.
The Gluttony Medal goes to Cartman for not sharing any of his movie theater snacks.
We’re going to give the Sloth Medal to Satan because he really makes no
attempt to better his situation with Sadam until Kenny shows up to help him.
Stan takes The Lust Medal for his prioritizing of getting a girl to like him while the whole
town is in the middle of a literal battle and Satan is trying to take over the world. We’ll
also give him the envy medal for how envious he is of Greggory’s connection with Wendy.
The Greed Medal goes to Sadam for wanting to take over the world and control everyone in it.
Finally, The Darwin award is going to The Doctor… who replaced Kenny’s heart with a baked potato.