my guest tonight is a comedian who is of
course a cast member on Saturday Night
Live and also starred in 30 rock now you
can see him in the last oh gee on TBS I
am thrilled Tracy Morgan okay I don't
know what you're talking about
listen we got we got to start first of
all what that is your own fish tank
behind you yeah that is is this right
the fourth largest private fish tank in
the world this is not a fish tank does
this look like a fish a fish is a fish
bowl that's something you'd buy a Coney
Island this is an aquarium okay I'm
sorry you have your own private aquarium
those you can't keep ahead you have
sharks in there that's a shark not some
big boys in there okay I hope you don't
lose an arm
why would you suddenly talk like a
pirate if you lost your arm Tracy you're
in quarantine how are you passing the
time I'll owe you amusing yourself get
my wife pregnant two babies you have Q
on the way do one away every week it's
okay so it's not twins you're saying
okay okay so you
used to see Georgia coronavirus baby
okay that's something they can know
their whole life middle-aged men is
still bolded
yeah that's good to know god you're not
born it we quarantine well how long
crazy how long have you been in
quarantine how long you been in
quarantine for 20 minutes I got a cousin
around you don't have a car he's a pimp
so he would advance for he you got my
money my Sheila fair with 10 kids and
she can't afford though man
so she using one hot Browns with some
rubber bands she said in the 66 WD
family my family shake cuz she got the
big jobs
she got titties so she's got a 66 double
D bra 1 cup 1 cup covered Tracy are you
are you prepared for this virus do you
have everything you need let's say
government chief government and
everything if the kid is what my
grandmother told me to put it
get some cocoa butter lotion get some
peroxide cuz peroxide cure anything
oh wait a minute what is it cocoa butter
lotion do what do you think I gotta cut
my grandmother put some cocoa butter on
it so you think cocoa butter is gonna be
the cure for coronavirus it is cocoa
butter
okay okay okay Tracy there's a lot of
misinformation out there
and I worry you're telling people to
stock up on government cheese and that
cocoa butter will cure the corona virus
let me tell you you had the five
percenters right yeah Papa Sydney did
one guy that changed his name to
asymptomatic what he changed mad at God
a lot but he has a pre-existing medical
condition no no it was what was it he's
a stupid book you know what you're
sharks have to listen to this
all day long first of all okay you
mentioned toilet paper do you have
enough toilet paper Tracy take one per
day just don't conserve so only people
can always burn most son got a stomach
that look like The Little Rascals cake
I'm at the gate is there so wait a
minute so people can urinate but they
can't the other one they can't do you
got a right your booty though
I like delivery one I like how everyone
else is talking to dr. pouchy and I'm
talking to you you're killing me
I'm gonna Corona doing this to me oh
yeah all this craziness all right Tracy
Tracy when you came into some money
a while ago you went out and you treated
yourself and you bought a Bugatti are
you still using you have to Bugattis oh
do you still use the Bugattis during
this crisis well you never get in the
you never go okay alright anyone shoots
on the street I can't be eye candy I'll
go sit in my garage and be eye candy
and just imagine so you sit in your
garage my body's not sing Little Orphan
Annie dog song karma to morrow so you
gotta hang on til tomorrow happy
just take it up tomorrow
makes me wanna hang on to tomorrow you
see my outlook now you gotta hit that
next up but there because my biological
father was david ruffin from the
temptation listen you know what you know
when you're your marriage in your
relationship with your girl is over when
you tense up I love you baby you're the
love of my life and she sucks you back
this emoji yeah yeah yeah oh yeah oh
geez
yeah those emojis can hurt your feelings
can't they know young terriers
coronavirus this distance I can't take
this social distance I was yesterday and
she gave me her elbow really well yeah
she's supposed to do that you're not
supposed to hug your mother so your
point is you you think that it's your
right to hug your mom okay oh yeah
what yes okay okay I think we got off
track here
I think we got off track here let's just
try and keep okay listen to me listen to
me I have to know you've got an extended
family you're always talking about your
aunt's your uncle's are you keeping in
touch with them yeah all the rain she
had a nervous breakdown when she found
out LG's elbow headed ice-skating no
virus this ain't my first virus I still
held your elbow
roland-garros avid hey stop it stop this
just stop it okay well I'm sure this
will be welcome news to e drous Elba
that your aunt is Willy
she no more than 66 double D's okay okay
so look like a tire track me this is
stupid
you've spread so much misinformation
here except you say the eat yourself a
thing is true okay okay let me ask you
this some celebrities are out there
getting tested are you doing that have
you gotten tested for gonorrhea no not
gonorrhea
wait you're more worried right now about
gonorrhea than the gas okay okay
it's did did you even ask your doctor if
you needed to get tested because kidney
transplant so I just gave blood two
weeks ago so they said you got it yeah
okay so you're in did you have gonorrhea
god damn they told you you have
gonorrhea yes I know and they said
you've got three crabs - wait you have
three crabs and then they gave me the
little cone with a little ornament a
little shampoo they don't tell you
you've got three crabs you've either got
crabs or you don't they don't care they
Moe Larry and curly well with a good
name them
so I'm gonna try and sum up what we've
learned here today Tracy right okay
you're advising everybody to stock up on
government cheese and cocoa butter stay
in their Bugatti and sing the Sun will
come out tomorrow make sure you have at
least 15 sharts
in your aquarium in your home it's the
fourth largest in the world is this
about right absolutely and if you've got
an aunt with giant breasts she should
use one of her sixty-six double D cups
and put it over ten children with some
rubber bands yes and you're telling
pimps out there to be safe and wear the
masks right you I don't know Tracy I
don't know what we accomplished here
today I really don't I don't know I
don't know what we accomplished you know
we're here to spread useful information
Tracy Europe completely out of touch
with reality you're spouting nothing
Tracy I don't know what I'm gonna do
with you I've been trying for years to
get you to talk loving you everyone out
there please stay safe all my love to
all the nurses the doctors find this
thing I love you and you're my heroes
it's nice you know what you spouted
nothing but craziness this whole time
and then in the end off with a beautiful
message you really did the last og very
funny show I think we have a clip here
from glass Toji forgive me for
disturbing your solitude
been a long time tre haven't seen you
since you got out I figured you didn't
need me anymore so did I but now I have
so many questions I need your wisdom but
if your quandary I told myself when I
got out to join I was gonna be a force
of positive change I want to give back
to my community
but it seems like every time I take a
stuff for it I'll take three steps
backwards
we're back that was a good clip you like
that yeah you weren't even watching were
you not filming the last og is on TBS
Tracy I haven't laughed this hard in
memory
you made me really happy thank you for
you know something's really wrong with
you and I'm happy because it makes this
I've never a live laughed as hard I love
you take care of yourself you're one of
the funniest human beings ever thank you
thank you
let it go alright take care bye