- You should just pick something.
- I can't decide. There's so many options.
It's like, who even watches all this stuff?
- How about "Flip My Aquarium"?
Oh, God, never mind. - Yeah, that sounds terrible.
- How about this? "Britain's Smallest Pies."
That sounds... fine?
- Sure. Try it out.
[dramatic music]
- [bleep]!
We've got a live one, people! - What is it this time, boss?
- Someone clicked on the tiny [bleep]in' pie show.
- Why would someone click on that?
- I don't know why, but they did.
And it's not real,
so we need to make up something quick. Go on!
[music stops]
- Your first day?
Buckle up, kid.
- The majority of shows and movies on Netflix are fake.
Just catchy titles with nice-looking graphic boxes
so it looks like we have all the shows in the world.
- Yeah, they're padding for real shows
like "Stranger Things" and "Frasier."
So whenever somebody clicks on one of these
fake bullshit titles like "Britain's Smallest Pies"
or "Battery Hoarders" or "Santa Clarita Diet,"
we have to slap something together real quick.
All right, come on, people!
We can't buffer forever, let's go!
Lena. - What?
- Get the pie! - Pie?
- Get the pie! - Where, where?
- From the pie closet! - What?
- Smallest pie you find! - Okay, I'll find it!
Boss? We've got a pie.
- Great! Now put it down!
- We're ready for your voiceover.
- Perfect.
- I'm sorry, are you British? - Huh?
- Are you a pie?
Then get out of the shot! Get out of the shot.
All right. Everybody quiet down.
Everybody quiet down.
We're going live in three, two, one.
[in British accent] Pies come in all
shapes and sizes.
But in this show
they're all small.
Join us as we take
a look at some of Britain's smallest pies.
- This is it?
This is boring as shit. - Yeah, I thought it was going
to be like a competition or something?
- No competition here. It's just... this.
[dramatic musical flourish]
They turned it off. - Great work, everyone.
Great work!
- Uh, boss.
You're going to want to see this.
[dramatic music resumes]
- Now what? - The same couple.
Now they're hovering over a title called
"Big Pointy Houses." Looks like they're deciding
between that and "The Shrimp Whisperer."
- The [bleep] is wrong with these people?
Why can't they watch "Stranger Things" or "Frasier"
like normal people? - [sighs]
- Okay.
We have to prepare for both contingencies.
- Martinez, find me stock footage
of the biggest, pointiest houses you can. Go!
Jackson, call that guy you know,
the one with the shrimp boat.
Go, go, go, go!
- What if we don't have enough time for that?
- We'll just play something else. Pretend it's a glitch.
A real show. I don't know, like "Frasier."
[beep] - Crisis averted, sir.
They picked "Black Mirror." - Oh, thank God.
That was close.
- Oh, no. - What?
- Some guy in Minnesota just pressed play on
"Santa Clarita Diet"!
[intense dramatic music]
- Okay.
Get me Drew Barrymore!
[bestial growls]
[roars]
- Why is she so mad?
- She's been down here for two seasons.
[animalistic bellows]
You know what? Let's just play "Frasier."