i want to start in proverbs 31 11 verse 11 through 12. and you know i love what it says
it says her husband trusts her without reserve and is never and never has a reason to regret it
never spiteful she treats him generously all her life long so you know marriage let's talk about
marriage in the proverbs 31 filter and i know there's a lot of women that are watching this
that you maybe aren't married or you're a widow or maybe you just never have been married and
i i want to talk for a few minutes about what it looks like to be a godly woman and what i believe
that this author is giving us context for which is trust in relationship now i got married at 27
and i was i was single and ready to mingle like i had been praying for my husband for a long time
and i mean i was a little girl my parents would pray for my husband and so by the time i hit 27
it felt like i was 47 and had been praying for my husband and then i met my husband he's four
years younger than i am and i did not think i would marry him at all in fact when i first
like started kind of having feelings i kept thinking this is so weird i don't like him he's
not going to be my husband and yet he kept winning me over by his kindness and his love for god and
when we got married i just thought a few things i grew up in an all-girl home basically i have
a mom and i have a twin sister and i have an italian dad and so we lived a very female life
and then i i got married to a man i never had a brother i didn't have a very that kind of dad
and and i remember thinking two thoughts and one was the bible said the two shall become
one and i assumed it would be me i felt like i was the better choice of the two becoming one
clearly i would be that best choice and then i also i remember thinking that i was just
marrying a male version of my best friend like we are going to just be best friends and we're
going to walk them all together and we're he's going to like carry the shoes for me and
i remember early on in our marriage he looked at me and was like i'm not doing any of that
with you and i'm like well why not he's like because i'm not your girlfriend i don't want
to do that with you and i remember being so offended like you don't think i'm fun and why
wouldn't it be fun to go to the makeup counter and pick out lipstick like what's wrong with you
and he's like well i'm not going to actually want to sleep with you if you make me do that so
we started really going through this process of me learning what it looked like to care for
my husband and so i started to realize that he was different than i was and part of me
becoming a godly wife to him was not changing who i was but it was it was being willing to
bring the best of me into the marriage and the best of me meant that i was going to show up
in the kindest way possible the most gracious way possible and that i was going to care for him in a
way that i would want to be cared for and so as i started getting married and i promise i'm bringing
this all in together i remember i would hang out with all these girls and there's this kind of
cultural thing that i think women can do which is let's get together and bash our husbands
like let's get together and talk about what underwear didn't make it in the hamper and you
know how many times i asked to do this or whatever and and so i remember as a young wife i would get
in these environments and people would begin to talk and i wanting to fit in and finally feeling
i had an outlet i'd begin to talk about my husband and this and that and i mean of course i was
thinking there's a lot more i could share i'm not going to share it all but there was a few things
and one day my husband and i were hanging out and he had come back from hanging out
with some friends and he said did you share this specific thing that i had shared with you
that was something close to my heart with these people these girls and i went oh well yeah of
course you know i didn't it was a big deal and i remember the look on his face like i had betrayed
this relationship by wanting to share and get something off my heart and be included
and yet completely dishonoring him and i remember at that moment i made a decision that i was never
going to talk about my husband like that again and that our intimate life would be intimate and that
our friendship would be above all we i would treat him like my best friend and i would guard him and
i would protect him because that's how i wanted to be treated and i look at proverbs 31 and it says
you know it's this man that he looks at her and he's like i can trust you with the things in my
heart and you know that's not just a married thing if you look at mary in the bible when
jesus when the spirit came to mary and he they said when he told mary those things it says she
hid it in her heart so this is an attribute of a godly woman this is an attribute of a wife this
is an attribute of a woman that hears valuable precious things from people's hearts and lives and
we hide it in our hearts not for the sake of using as ammunition to get people to do or to make sure
that we have something get somebody but part of being a godly person and a virtuous woman is we're
gonna hear a lot of things we can never repeat can i just hear an amen like there are things people
share with us that we it would be a great story it'd be funny it would be worth it but in the long
run we would break trust and they would never have that same respect for us for us for them so what i
really want to talk about today is the idea that part of us working out our relationships is trust
and part of my election with my husband is trust and so there are things even in relation with god
that he shares with me that i don't share with everybody else why because i'm it's a trust
relationship and it's a respect and so i just feel like in this generation where there is nothing
sacred like nothing sacred i think what this proverbs is really talking about is that there
are going to be things that we hear and learn and know that have a place of a sacred place to hold
in our hearts and to let them play out and not to be the one that shares it with everybody and
think about marian she was like i'm i'm gonna give birth to the savior you wait like everyone be like
that is not the story that we want to hear there was something about mary knowing about timing
knowing about trust knowing about that she could be trusted with this unbelievable miracle of the
world she's carrying the savior of the universe and she's hiding it she's keeping it she's she's
protecting it and i just think in my own heart and i think in the hearts of a lot of people watching
we don't often make space for sacred things and i think that's what proverbs 31 is talking about
you know there's a lot of i think confusion about marriage these days and i just want to
take a minute be for those of us that are married i want i really believe marriage isn't difficult
when you're set out to serve the other person i don't mean that they're perfect i don't mean that
they've done it all right but when i wake up every day to make my husband's life better and that he's
grateful he married me out of all the women in the world he could have married he picked me if
i set out to do that life gets so much easier it's uncomplicated but when i try to and it's the same
thing when i try to use the story to create my my value my existence my perfect picture then all of
a sudden he's a character in the story he's no longer a person and a man he's he's playing a
role unless you're saying lisa about friendships i think diana's saying it very well all of a sudden
these are now characters in our story that we're creating a story rather than going you know wait
a minute my job is to protect them whether anybody ever knows this part it's not the point the point
is i i want to be somebody that when they leave my presence they know they're never going to be this
is never going to be used against them and i'll tell you what there are stories out there of me
that i would hate someone to know not that i somehow in invol you know voluntarily tried to
do something to get away with it but we've all had moments that were like jesus i don't want to
see the replay videos in heaven i hope that that gets erased because my life is more than a moment
i have a lifestyle and so i really think it's important and i just want to challenge as a
younger girls that are watching this i know i mean i've shared things with lisa about my inner life
and i know it's not going to go anywhere i'm very confident of that but there is a balance on all
of this there's a sacredness from socializing and from connecting and from stories there's
a sacredness with your relationship with christ that's going to be very important there's going
to be secrets he's going to share with you about your future that you cannot tell a bunch of people
you cannot put it in an instagram post and let god okay god you spoke this word to me yesterday and
so now it's gonna be out there as a book you you need it to marinate it's the reason why god gives
us a baby and we have nine months to protect it to care for it to get to know it it's the same with
god in our relationship so for some of us the reason we keep having kind of these still-born
spiritual experiences because we're not really actually allowing it to grow in the safety of our
hearts and in the safety of our relationships so when it's time it'll be full-grown
i hope you enjoyed this video subscribe today and you'll never miss a new upload and don't
forget to check out our better together shop thanks for being a part of our community