welcome welcome in here up there out there to the Late Show I'm your host
Stephen Colbert and folks I am feeling I gotta say pretty darn good and I feel a
little bad about that because the thing I feel great about is somebody else going to prison
yesterday in a trovert the horrific events of January 6th the founder of the oath keeper
Stuart Rhodes was found guilty of seditious conspiracy okay that that my friends yes
that's a big one that is a big one that's Insurrection with the creamy trees and
center right there delicious Rose was also found guilty of other bad stuff which is
why he's now facing a maximum of 60 years in prison that's a long time baby that's
a long stretch on the bright side by 2082 the hip New Look might be steampunk Cowboy pirate
now when you hear the name uh Oath Keepers you know and that eye patch it makes roads
sort of seem like a heroic Freedom Rebel in reality he's a disc barred Yale Law grad who
wears an eye patch after accidentally shooting himself in the face with his own gun oopsa Karma
that's like it's embarrassing it's embarrassing is what it is
it's like finding out Rambo wears that headband to cover up his live laugh love tattoo
this conviction make no mistake is a huge deal it marks the very first time that a jury has
decided that the January 6th violence was the product of an organized conspiracy well yeah
I watched it it sure seemed organized I don't remember any headlines that said Capital meet
cute gets out of hand what Rhodes is such a scumbag even his estranged wife chimed
in saying that the conviction is the first time Rhodes has ever faced consequences damn
that is what you call winning the breakup oh hey
voted to pass the wrecked for Marriage Act which the hits keep on coming baby
let's go that's nice I like doing monologues tonight it's Pleasant yeah
the respect for Marriage Act which would enshrine marriage equality in federal law
this is an incredible moment I feel so proud to live in a country where anyone regardless
of their sexuality can disagree for decades about the right way to load a dishwasher you
don't need to pre-rinse that's just washing the dishes before they go in the dishwasher
don't wash them that's the thing the dishwasher went to college to learn
thank you the bill passed in a 61-36 vote with 12 Republicans joining Democrats to vote for it
that's where we are that's cool no wonder marriage equality one even the partisan support was by
e thank you you know now I'm sure a lot of you are saying hey Steve don't we already have the right
to same-sex marriage yeah but a lot of people were worried we might lose that right thanks to
the Legion of dumb after the conservatives on the court overturned Roe v Wade this past summer the
next logical step that many conservatives were calling for is to overturn obergefell hence the
urgency to pass this bill and to get Republican support the bill had to walk a kind of a fine line
so it won't force all states to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples instead it would
require that people be considered married in any state as long as the marriage was valid in
the state where it was performed in other words if you get married in Massachusetts and then move to
Florida no one can question the validity of your marriage okay that's nice to know that's Pleasant
but they can question why you moved to Florida but
you know the bill does repeal the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act so that old thing is gone as
one prominent lawmaker told the Defense of Marriage Act sachet away thank you thank you
thank you Senator Roo [Laughter] it's been a really bad week for the former president
because he's still getting Flack over his dinner last Tuesday with Kanye West and
white nationalist anti-semite Nick Fuentes the former president is now scrambling to
do damage control so he went to Fox News Now normally we would run footage of that but we
don't have any footage of that because they only let him talk to foxnews.com
even their cameras are unwilling to be seen on camera with him right now the former president
told the website he had never heard of Fuentes before the dinner adding I had no idea what
his views were you know I might have believed that six years ago this was the first time you
played footsie with white supremacists but it's happened a lot you know what they say if it flies
like a duck and quacks like a duck but it Goose steps you got yourself a Nazi duck [Applause]
that's math the blowback has been so bad that to prevent future meetings with white supremacists
the former president's team has a new rule and this is true that a senior official needs to
be with the former president at all times yes it's so important they didn't make sure that the
former president not be left alone with the white supremacist the trick is going to be finding a way
to keep him out of any room that he's in down in Georgia that's a stroker that jokes a chain Stoker
down in Georgia they're getting close to the big Senate runoff election between Herschel Walker
and Rafael Warnock so far it's kicked off with a real bang because on Monday voters in Georgia
broke their record for the most ballots cast in a single day during early voting yet another record
yes I agree Boat Boat Boat
yet another new record for Herschel Walker's resume along with his college rushing yards
record Planned Parenthood rewards points and record number of nickels accidentally swallowed
when you tackle him he jingles both candidates are out campaigning up a storm right now but
Walker's speeches are especially notable because they are insane here he is on Monday making the
case for a border wall I'm a security boy how are we going to do that that's the way I can
do it then and then put up a wall want to work we're all working around your house when you
got to walk around your house people don't do they have it they can get in but you know what
they get in it'll be hard to get out because I got a dog that well my dog really won't bite
there
[Applause]
they're gonna have to update that chant build the wall add a dog one that bites maybe not if voters
look at those scuff marks I know
if voters send Walker home he might have a hard time finding where that is because while we knew
Walker had multiple homes just this week we learned that he's claimed his home in Texas as
his primary residence to get a tax break not great for a would-be senator from Georgia but unlike his
other scandals Walker's been refreshingly honest about it here he is in January everyone asked me
why did I decide to run for ascendancy as I was sitting in my home in Texas and I was sitting
in my home in Texas and I was seeing what was going on in this country I tell people stop
for a moment and look you know I live in Texas he came right out and said it this is the most
disqualifying campaign confession since Herbert Hoover's 1928 slogan I shoved a nun down a well
in Senate candidates who aren't from the state they run for office in losing
Republican and guy who fell into the gorilla enclosure and is trying his best to blend in
Dr Mehmet Oz ever since Oz got his ass handed to him by John fetterman he's been trying
let's take a minute it's never to never too soon to enjoy that again he's been trying to get his
old TV job back now unfortunately for us his former producers reportedly won't talk to him
he's so toxic he couldn't even interest Paramount Plus in his Dr Oz prequel Young memet
I'd watch that one reason producers don't want us back is because the
TV folks believe the campaign badly damaged Oz's reputation and that's no
small feat considering that before he ran his reputation was Doctor Who says if you
have more than 200 orgasms a year you can reduce your physiologic age by six years
okay looks like your secret is out Paul Rudd
turning to 200. 200 is that all
turning to the world of religion many faiths around the world believe that with time prayer and
meditation one can achieve a state of religious Ecstasy but some folks want a shortcut like in
Thailand where a Buddhist temple has been left without any monks after they all tested positive
for meth yes as the enlightened one himself said how do I stay so fat on this much crank we got a
great show for you tonight my guests are Secretary of the Treasury Jen Yellen and comedian Rob
Delaney and when we come back it's meanwhile y'all [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign
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