- Listen, I like you so I just gotta know,
I can continue being my nice self
or I can be an asshole, what are you into?
(upbeat piano music)
- Wow, you are beautiful. Are you crazy?
- What are you planning on eating tonight?
Is it gonna be expensive? I don't have a much money.
- So what have you heard about me?
- So drugs? Totally disgusting, I shouldn't bring them up?
Or they're really fun and you want to hear stories?
- So how many dates until we have sex?
And then how often?
- Yeah, okay, so do you know anything about wine?
'Cause I'm about to make some shit up.
- When do I actually get to meet the real you?
- I gotta be honest, I don't know where you want me to look.
That shirt really shows off your boobs
and I appreciate that.
- If I order a salad are you gonna judge me?
- Where do you want me to look that says
I appreciate your body, but still respect you.
- So this whole nice thing, does that last?
- God, you're really great, how terrifying is your dad?
- I'm getting drunk, where are you at?
Catch up, girl! (laughing)
- Do you actually like me or did you just
want to check out this restaurant?
- You mentioned it didn't work out with your ex, why?
- Okay, on a scale of one to kill me,
how possessive would you say you are?
- On a scale of one to Fifty Shades of Grey,
how freaky are you?
- Who are you texting? - Is this narrative
of my trip to Thailand doing anything for you?
- Do you think you're mom material, you like kids, right?
- Out of everything that I've said here tonight,
what is gonna help me the most on this date?
- How many kids is too many for you?
- Straight up, are you crazy?
- Wow, this is going really well,
how many other people are in love with you right now?
- Are we having sex tonight?
(upbeat music)