There are some sad cases right now where there's a lot of suffering in the world,
there are people who are wondering, “am I going to have a job?”
That's a real fear that we all have to face, maybe even the fear of ourself feeling inadequate,
“man, I'm not going to be able to get through this”.
If we have these fears, all these questions,
why does it matter that we're stopping right now to talk about this?
Not only do I think it's relevant, but it's actually the first disability
that I had to break through and I want you to know how important it is,
it's an illustrative point of view where if we're driving a car
and we start getting driven by fear, meaning we let fear take over
our thoughts, with our thoughts,
then that overrides our words and our actions.
And it's almost as if some people are driving through life right now
with their hands off the wheel.
And when you don't let fear take control and you take control
of that, that's healthy.
How do we do that?
How do we really overcome the fear?
Where is the anchor for how we overcome fear?
Well, first of all, let me tell you, you're not alone
because we all face fears.
You may not understand how it is to have no arms and legs and
be in my shoes but I don't know how it feels to be in your shoes either.
You know what?
First thing that we need to do with fear, especially when we overthink things is
sitting down and reflecting about what's going in our head
and categorizing these fears between two categories, rational fear
and irrational fear.
Rational fear is when we have something that could happen
that we could think about, but irrational fear is already
believing that the worst case scenario is bound to happen,
no matter what.
“That's it”.
“I'm always going to be there”.
Let me give an example, so when we have
a fear of, I don’t know, change,
we are so far away from our securities because what we had security in before as
people now you don't have that same security
because that's being taken away from you, whether that's a loved one,
whether that's a job, whether that's a plan that's absolutely fallen
on its face because of the changes in the world right now.
But that doesn't change who you are and your value
and don't quickly let that fear creep into an irrational sense to say,
“see, you're a failure”.
“See, you're always going to be misunderstood and you're never going to get ahead in your
life”.
“See, your plan of that business will never, ever happen”.
“See, you just lost your job, you're not good enough”.
Wait, wait a second, have people ever lost a job?
Yeah, I know people who've lost their home.
And I want you to know that if you're fearing losing your home, first of all,
if you're right there in this fear, hold on.
Are you still alive?
Are you still breathing?
Maybe you've lost your job right now, but it's not the end.
You see, life is full of ups and downs and we got to stick to understanding,
yes, there are some rational fears that we need to think through,
I mean, wait, let's take a step back, not all fear is bad.
If I put my hand on a hot stove, I know it's going to hurt my right hand.
There are fears that help us to know what not to do.
But when we talk about irrational fears that say
this condemning future and demeaning our future,
that's a prison.
That's a prison you don't have to live in, that's a depression you don't have to stay
in, that's an anxiety and pattern of panic
that you don't have to be debilitated with every single day.
And I want you to know that in your life, this is not the end, my friend.
Keep going, this too shall pass.
Maybe an exercise to help you even try to find the difference of rational and
irrational is actually writing them down.
Write down your fear.
And you could quickly say, “oh, my god, I didn't realize that's what
my brain is saying to me”.
And when you actually categorize those fears as irrational,
I want you to know that it's not your circumstance that really needs to be the one that you overcome
as your enemy, it's the actual fear,
the thought process in your head.
To say, “you know what, I’m not going to think that way anymore”.
“I am not going to believe that thought that I'm going to stay where I'm at,
I will prevail”.
And replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
Say, “sure I'm unemployed right now, but I'm not going to stay here,
I am going to find a new job”.
“So if I'm going to find a new job, when is the latest time that I looked at my
resume and what can I do now, who can I call?
“What can I do?”
Ok, maybe it's not my ideal next step but what's a step?
Make small goals now.
Talk to someone now, just knowing that you're not alone in the
world of fear, sure coronavirus affects everyone but
really, the bottom line is fear affects us all.
And I want to come to your prison cell of fear,
your chains that's binding you from being able to have forward thinking,
your sitting on the couch, maybe you're listening to me in your living
room, you're like, “Nick, I don't know how to
get past this”.
Well right now make those small goals, try to categorize what fear is rational,
what fear is irrational.
When you define those irrational thoughts and don't just try to ignore them,
put in positive thoughts.
When you write down and you intentionally break those cycles of thought processes and
negative thought patterns, that's when you're putting your hands
back on that steering wheel and saying, “I'm not defined or controlled by my fear,
I'm going to keep on going”.
So today, take those small steps, set small goals and take one day at a time.
And when you feel like everything has crumbled around you,
go back to those most important dearest things in your heart.
You're not defined by you being employed or not, married or not,
in a room full of people or not right now.
You are an irreplaceable person and soul who has something to offer in this world,
who might be right now dealing with a lot of challenge
but someone who's going to overcome and get through this.