hey what's going on my beautiful people this is certified life and relationship coach coach court
in today's video i'm going to talk to you guys about why the rebound person doesn't matter
thank you for sticking around and i'm just going to get right into it today i'm not going to give
you any dispute any of the uh the housekeeping i'm going to get right to it in today's video
i'm going to talk to you guys about why the rebound person doesn't matter and i felt this
was a really important discussion to have because i have so many people reaching out
to me about rebound relationships there's lots of comparison going on there's a lot of broken hearts
and many people that are just really struggling to get over this person that they were with and
i wrote a quote about this on um on instagram if you guys aren't following me my instagram
handle is iamcoachcourt i write quotes every single day today's quote i wrote "when you put
your partner on a pedestal that automatically puts you beneath them and that's unattractive" i had to
learn this the hard way a couple guys that are here on a youtube in the youtube world with me
we talk pretty much every day and it's interesting because they feel the same way that when i wrote
that quote it was like yeah 100% agree and i had to learn it the hard way but when you
you talk about um you know when someone goes into a relationship with someone right after
you aka rebound you guys know how i feel about rebound relationships if you haven't
taken the time to heal it's technically a rebound i don't care how long you guys were
you know thinking about breaking up whatever it's still technically a rebound if you haven't
taken that time to reset yourself find out who you were again and recalibrate so
it's been really tough for people around the holidays because they see that they're the
person that they were with is getting into a new relationship you know they're exchanging christmas
gifts they're doing all that stuff that you would have done with that person if you were with them
but i'm gonna give you reassurance that it doesn't matter i don't care you know the
facade that they put on the way that they're showing up the things that they're showing off
doesn't matter rebounds fail ninety percent of the time and when people you know reach out to
me and ask me questions about what if it's been two years what if it's been four years
doesn't matter doesn't matter ask yourself this question how many divorces are going you know
till death do us part you know divorce rates are at 51% and that's in that current moment
we're not even taking statistics of people who are 70 who are 80 that you know got into
a marriage early on and got divorced i mean we're taking a snapshot in time when we do that
percentage it's just a snapshot in that at that period so i mean who knows how many there's so
many people that are married like how accurate are those statistics so when you're thinking
about someone that is in a relationship after you you know they may have moved in with the person
they may have gotten a job with that person they may have had kids with the person got married to
the person it doesn't matter all we're going to focus on is you what is it that you can do
to bring the lens back on yourself take full accountability for how you showed up in the
decision that you made because i can tell you at some point you saw the red flags you saw
some things that was not kosher if you want to use that term you saw something that wasn't legit and
you decided to continue this relationship with that person so what is it that you
can change from within yourself what is it that you need to do to prevent yourself from getting
getting in the same situation in the future that's the real question you should be asking yourself
because the instant that you let some things slide the instant that you essentially settled for this
person because you felt like you couldn't find a better option or you just got lazy i saw i talked
about this in other videos how men we're kind of lazy where you know we find that one person
we're like yep this is going to be the one that we're gonna spend the rest of our lives with and
that's that's uh that's a really limiting belief and you know because we make this poor decision
you know i talked about in another video like we we put more effort in deciding the type of
car we're going to buy than the person that we're going to spend the rest of our life with
and if you ask me that's just a sad thing to do that's not something that you want to get your
yourself into because think about if you have kids with this person and you already know that
you don't love them you don't know you don't you don't completely love them you don't see yourself
putting up with their snoring or their bad habits for the next five years
but you decide to make these long-term commitments with them you're deciding to
buy houses with them you're deciding to um get married to them and then once they're not happy
and they decide to go out and you know find someone else that is a better suit for them
they're gonna go ahead and do it and you have to be okay with that now people are not happy
when i talk about that when i when i put this type of spin on um the breakup and the situation
because i know you're like broken-hearted you don't know what to do you're really struggling
to get over this person but i'm going to always bring it back to you as a as a coach
if you're my client i'm going to always bring it back to you what is it that you could do to
you know prevent this from happening in the future and you know that's a high level of accountability
and i feel that a lot of things in life a lot of issues in life can be it can be cured by having
that high level of accountability you know i'm a spiritual person i'm all about you know
a person's flaws or a person's weaknesses is just a reflection of your flaws and your
weaknesses that you have within you things that you're not comfortable with and you're
just projecting it on to them or you just you're you can see that in them so much more
in depth you know there's a quote that goes you teach best what you most need to learn
because we we have a deeper level of insight on uh the struggles of humanity and struggles in
relationships the struggles in life period so what is it that you can do next time
to not get yourself attached to someone who you know is going to be unhealthy for you
you know that you can't just you know turn the blind eye to and you just can't uh say yep well
you know this is just who this person is i'm going to love them out of it i'm going to try
to change them and i think that's the problem we try to change that person we try to uh
pour more love into their their cup to see if they'll you know either alter their behavior
or they'll start accommodating you more but you know it doesn't work that way just because you
give someone more love they're not going to want to change for you and when they go on as a next
person you start to think man they're going to be giving them all the love and affection that
i wanted and i i was pretty much jonesing for but they're not because that's just who they are
and at a person's core they are not going to be able to change that that's
just typically who they are so don't let this discourage you don't let this beat you down
stop comparing yourself to this other person none of that matters only thing that matters is you
and your narrative and your world and how you're going to move on that's the only thing
that matters so put more energy into you know healing yourself and moving forward then you put
in putting one foot keeping one foot in the past looking behind you and you know just wondering
what you could have done better what you could have done differently because chances are they
could have done something better and differently as well so if you found this video of any value
please like comment and share reach out to me on my website you know book a coaching session
with me if you want my help personally or you can also follow me by the social media accounts
twitter instagram facebook is iamcoachcourt thank you guys and i'll talk to you soon