hey everybody how you doing it's Kirk about ready to go on TV here and we're
gonna talk about eye movements and the value and literally the importance of
using eye contact if you're not having a good relationship with somebody it could
be because the way you are using your eyes you could be rolling them squinting them
or doing all kinds of stuff but pay attention to this episode because you
may be doing things with your eyes that just are not working for things to
improve you my friend have to improve don't expect somebody else to change to
make things better maybe it's us so check this out watch what I'm going to
teach and just love it you'll love it
They say the eyes are the window to the soul
Kirk Duncan from 3 Key Elements says the eyes are communicating when you don't
even know it we're talking about things you need
to stop and start doing with eyes today, Kirk
We all know that eyes send a lot of communication
between us and our kids or us and our our spouse or our
friends but eyes do a lot of communication they have a lot of
communication that happens between two people
when It comes to eyes, remember this:
eyes are connected to identity. "eye"-dentity, get it?
so as I'm interacting with somebody else I want to make sure
that I have good eye contact because when I have a good eye contact it gives the
person credit when I don't look at them it discredits them. So I can raise
the value of somebody by just how I'm looking at them so just remember when
you're giving somebody else eye contact you're actually building up credit like
they feel more valuable because of that eye contact
you also say to do less and
listen more, is that with your eyes?
yeah you watch their face and pay attention
to how they're moving and how they're acting because there's so much
communication we miss when it comes to body language now when it comes to eyes
here's three things you want to stop doing: definitely don't roll
your eyes. To roll your eyes means you're scanning your whole brain and you have
nothing of value to share with that person
That's so funny Nicea was just talking about that
yesterday that she was watching her teenage video and that
she was eye-rolling and everything
yeah, it discounts, discredits
from 13 to 19 it was like a sport, and I was winning.
I was winning with my eye-roll
you got to stop though because it really
discredits the other person.
The other thing, when we squint at each other
we actually cause the person to feel like they're less than
oh shoot, do I do that when I'm thinking?
when we think, we tend to squint, but the other person takes it as you're
discrediting them. it's another discredit and then there's the whole you
go or whatever and you kind of lift your head and kind of look up to one side
those three moves of rolling your eyes squinting and the little quick look up
the whatever look really causes the relationship between you and the other
person to separate or go down
can I ask you this quickly what if you're someone
out there that has a hard time holding eye contact can you teach yourself to do that
you can practice, you can look at someone's cheek bones their
eyebrows or forehead and just kind of roam around the eyes but if you allow
yourself to look away you're going to struggle with relationships and you're
gonna struggle with your own personal success now let's go to the next level
though. when you're watching somebody and having eye contact with
them watch what direction their eyes move it tells you what they're thinking
about okay so check this out this is my eye tracking chart
so wait, you can read someone by watching their eye movements?
so when somebody looks up they are looking for
the higher level of what they know but they are not quite sure now if they look
up here to the left like this person looks up this direction they're
accessing the area of their mind that has to do with facts and numbers and
figures and over here on the right side when they look at this way they actually
are looking at the imagery in their mind so we literally by our eyes look in
different parts of our mind so wherever our activity in our mind is our eyes
look that direction
alright so if you're looking from side to side
so if you look to the side where your ears are you're literally listening to opinions of the
voices inside your head
not what's being said to you?
no, when you're looking at the person you're listening to the person but when you
look to your ears you're listening to the other comments inside your head the
other opinions. who knows what it is but you're listening to others
alright, what about down?
when you look down now it becomes emotional
and we tend to access our past by looking down
when we look straight down we know we're about ready to have an
emotion come up, and that's good for us to know that that is a pre
indicator of emotions that are coming and if you look down to the left it's
referring to the past experiences or memory you look down to the right it has
to do with what your going to be doing so we literally by the direction of our
eyes give signals to other people what we're thinking about
I feel like you've made
such great eye contact with us throughout this entire conversation
we miss a lot by not really paying attention to each other's eyes
and if the eyes are the window to the soul then
let's make it a good experience
let's really work hard at having better eye contact
I know you have something for our viewers
yeah, there's a one-hour audio recording that I have
that will train people how to develop
better eye contact and it's free, it's a gift to everybody who wants to
it's a download, so you go to 3KeyElements.com/GTU
enter your information and type in the promo code "GTU" and the download will
be right there for you
how awesome. 3KeyElements.com is where you can find
more information about you and your lovely wife
By the way you guys have great eye contact
thank you, we've been practicing
and I'm gonna practice the rest of the day, Kirk!
hey so check that out I mean, this is some important
information my friend you got to stop rolling your eyes
gotta stop squinting at the people you're talking to because sometimes we
think if we squint and don't roll your eyes don't squint and then this move the
whole "whatever", don't do that manage your eyes keep your eyes still
just like what I just talked about in this episode and if you don't have this
chart I'm showing it to you right now this is super important when you're
paying attention to others watch where their eyes are moving so you get an idea
what they're thinking about because then you literally are in on the game of
communication and you can have an idea of what it is they're thinking about so
you're not surprised what comes out of their mouth
cause I think communication is all
about paying attention so today's episode is helping you understand what
it takes to pay attention and be a better communicator.
alright, thank you!