This entertainment news
is from out of this world.
Tom Cruise is planning to shoot scenes
for a new movie from the International Space Station,
which good for him.
He's finally getting to work a little bit
closer to his home planet.
This is nice.
This is-- it's all about that work-life balance.
No, but seriously, people, Tom Cruise stays winning.
He's one of the greatest movie stars and stuntmen.
He's doing things that no one has ever done before-- just
success after success.
So maybe Scientology is right.
I don't know.
I'm just putting it out there.
In other space news, remember how NASA slammed a spaceship
into an asteroid to test whether they
could change its course?
Well, yesterday, they officially announced
that it was a success.
[cheering]
Yeah, yeah.
The asteroid wasn't actually headed to Earth,
and they hit it, and now it is.
So good work, everyone.
Yeah, you just clapped for us dying.
I'm not really sure this was all necessary though.
Like, send a vessel up to hit the asteroid.
You spend all that money.
Like, if we're honest, one immigrant mother
could have done the same thing just by holding up a slipper.
That's all she needed to do.
Just be like, come to Earth and see what-- come to Earth
and see what happens.
Yeah, that's right.
Turn around.
Turn that-- turn that-- turn that asteroid around.
[cheering]
In sports news, NFL star Davante Adams of the Raiders
has now been charged with misdemeanor assault
for shoving a sideline photographer on Monday.
Luckily, the photographer was attended to by NFL doctors,
so he'll be fine.
I mean, he died, but the doctors still cleared
him to play next Sunday.
They said the game must go on.
All right, let's move on to some of the biggest stories
of the day, starting off with a major story
about the gig economy.
You know?
The gig economy, the reason your Tinder date
had to make a stop to deliver Shake Shack.
Well, over the past decade, more and more people
have been making a living at jobs where
the companies they work for are technically
not their employers.
But now America's most famous employee
might be changing that.
REPORTER: All right, a potential game changer
for millions of gig workers, the Biden administration
proposing a new rule that would reclassify millions of them
as company employees.
The new rule could have wide-ranging impact on profits
at Uber, Lyft, DoorDash, and other companies
that rely on contractors.
With that employee label, workers
would be eligible for protections
like a minimum hourly wage, overtime
pay, jobless benefits, and workers' comp.
Wow.
If Biden gets this done, it's going to shake up
the world of apps completely.
Because you realize right now, the reason delivery and car
apps can take in billions of dollars
is partly because they don't technically have employees,
which is great for them.
It's the same way some people aren't
technically in a relationship, but they
still get all the benefits.
Yeah, they get the sleepovers, but then
they don't have to take care of you when you're sick.
It's just like, oh, I'm sorry you're not feeling well.
I guess I'll see you when you're ready to smash.
Bye!
[applause]
But what Biden is suggesting is that these companies
have to give their workers the benefits
that employees would get.
And I know that you'll agree with me.
No one deserves it more than them, right?
Because these people are hard workers.
They're driving everywhere.
They're biking.
They're delivering.
They're taste testing our food before it gets to us.
This is hard work.
So this is a big step for a lot of people in the gig economy.
But don't forget, there are drawbacks to being
considered an employee.
Yeah, like, for instance, people singing
you happy birthday at work.
Yeah, you'll love it initially.
But once they start on the, (SINGING) how old are you now,
how old are-- you'll be like, I have health care,
but at what cost?
All right, let's move on to some news about the midterms,
the reason your inbox is now full of emails
with the subject line, send me $4 or I'll kill myself!
Let's catch up on some of the tightest races
in our ongoing coverage of Votedemic 2022.
[music playing]
[applause]
Right now any single Senate race in America
could determine which party could take control
of the Senate, giving them the power to get nothing
done for the next two years.
And few races are closer right now
than the one in Pennsylvania.
On the Republican side, you have
Dr. Oz, famous TV doctor and proof that even
Oprah makes mistakes.
And on the Democratic side, you have John Fetterman,
former lieutenant governor and dude who's just
going off in the mosh pits.
This race has hinged on a number of issues like crime,
abortion, and the fact that Dr. Oz has only
lived in Pennsylvania for less than two
years, which, is that even a real Pennsylvanian, huh?
Has this dude even been in a fistfight
in a Wawa parking lot yet?
Hmm?
[laughter]
But now another question has begun
to take center stage in the race, John Fetterman's health.
Back in May, Fetterman suffered a stroke.
And even though he's been back on the campaign trail,
he still hasn't fully recovered.
And now his first major interview since the stroke
has everyone talking.
Can voters trust that you will be able to do
this job on day one?
Yeah, of course.
ANNOUNCER: This is Pennsylvania Democratic Senate candidate
John Fetterman's first in-person, sit-down interview
since a stroke sidelined him from the campaign
trail for months.
JOHN FETTERMAN: That auditory processing
where I'll hear someone speaking,
but sometimes it'll be-- it'll be precise on what exactly
that they're saying.
I use captioning.
REPORTER: His campaign required that he be allowed
to use a transcription program on his computer
during our interview.
I always thought it was pretty empathetic--
emphatic.
I think I was very-- excuse me-- empathetic.
That's an example of the stroke-- empathetic.
I always thought I was very empathetic before having
a stroke.
But now after having that stroke,
I really understand much more kind of the challenges
that Americans have day in and day out.
So, yeah, this interview came out.
And now, obviously, you've got people on the right saying
Fetterman forgot a word.
And he can't understand speech.
So he's not fit for the Senate.
And, look, this is politics.
So I get it.
People will jump on any weakness to give
their party an advantage.
I understand that.
But let's be real, people.
If stumbling over a word every now
and again disqualified you from politics,
America wouldn't have had a president
for the past six years.
[laughter]
Huh?
That's blunt.
[cheering]
In fact, at least Fetterman acknowledged
that he messed up the word, and he corrected himself.
Yeah, Biden wouldn't have noticed,
and he would have just [stammers] Negroes, man.
[laughter]
And Trump-- can you imagine Trump?
Trump wouldn't have even acknowledge that--
like, Trump would have tried to convince us that he
actually got the word right.
He'd be like, I always knew that I was emphatic,
and I was, and also empathetic.
I was emphatically empathetic and so emphatic
about being empathetic, emphatic about emphysema.
Do we love emphysema, folks?
We love it so much.
And also, as for needing to read captions
because he has a troubled understanding of speech now,
I don't know.
Is that really a deal breaker?
Huh?
In fact, if you ask me, I think America
needs more people in politics who actually know how to read.
Maybe that's just how I see it.
If anything-- if anything, needing captions
is super relatable these days.
Yeah, have you tried watching House of Dragon
without captions?
It's impossible.
I mean, half the characters have the same name.
(DEEP VOICE) Agon, tell Ayman to get Renera to warn
Raneris about Egon's dream.
But don't tell Viserys.
He'll tell Jiserys. Did you get that?
No, I didn't.
I don't know what that was.
[laughter]
But, look-- but, look, I'm not I'm
not vouching for Fetterman over Dr. Oz or anything like that.
But I do think this whole debate is veering
into the territory of saying that people
with disabilities cannot be lawmakers,
which is trash, all right?
Especially since America already has disabled lawmakers
serving right now.
[cheering]
It shouldn't be disqualified, right?
Dan Crenshaw is missing an eye.
Tammy Duckworth lost both her legs, all right?
And Mitch McConnell-- he's literally
melting all the time.
[laughter]
But has he let that hold him back?
No!
He gets up every day, and he vows
to keep on working until the moment his face
slides right off of his skull.
(IMITATING MCCONNELL) Oh, that's right.
Every night, I tie my skin into a ponytail.
Bwa.
Now, even though the Senate is getting the most attention,
there's also a heated race for mayor of Los Angeles, where
Congresswoman Karen Bass is facing off against real estate
tycoon Rick Caruso.
And in their final debate last night, there was one moment
that got everyone's attention.
And it's when the moderator mentioned that Karen
Bass is a person of color.
And then Rick Caruso said, uh, me too.
And this question goes for the both of you.
The next mayor of Los Angeles will
be either an African-American woman or a white man.
I'm Italian.
Italian-American.
Thank you. That's Latin.
Thank you.
Latin.
[laughter]
You're not white.
You're Latin?
Get the [bleep] out of here, man.
Huh?
What is that?
[applause]
We all know what this is about, right?
This guy is running in Los Angeles.
So now he's saying, I'm Italian,
which is a Latin language, so I'm basically Latino, right?
And, look, I'm not--
I'm not claiming to be an expert.
But if you tell someone you're grabbing Latin food,
I think they'll be pretty pissed off when you come
back with Olive Garden, right?
We can all agree on that.
So I think we can all agree that Rick Caruso
is just bullshitting here.
Because I promise you, when he gets pulled over by the cops,
he's not like, (LATINO ACCENT) hola, officer,
what is the problem, señor?
[laughter]
What's funny about this whole thing
is that, when they came to America,
Italians weren't considered white.
But then they fought for, like, 100 years to change that.
Yeah, and let's be honest.
Any debate was definitely over by the time the Mario
trailer came out last week.
Yeah, because Chris Pratt is out here like, it is I, Mario.
So the Senate races are heating up.
The mayoral races are heating up.
But it turns out even in the animal kingdom, my friends,
elections are being fought tooth and nail.
REPORTER: An update on Fat Bear Week.
It's the popular bracket that has been rocked
by a big cheating scandal.
So each year, people vote on the beefiest bear
in Alaska's Katmai National Park
before hibernation season.
Well, the National Park tweeted, quote,
"Like bears stuff their face with fish,
our ballot box, too, has been stuffed."
There were thousands of fake votes for bear 747.
But even with the fake votes removed,
747 weighed in at 1,400 pounds and still
won the semifinal round.
Now 747 will face off against bear 901 for the final round.
Voting start this morning.
Yes, my friends, it appears that a voting
scandal has tainted the dignity of Fat Bear Week.
And don't you dare laugh.
Don't you laugh.
If we cannot trust the sanctity of the fat bear vote,
then what can we trust?
I honestly don't understand this.
Who would even care enough about a fat bear election
to try and cheat and stuff the ballot box?
Who is this person?
Who's like, oh, I've got to rig this--
why?
The fattest bear doesn't get any power if it wins.
It's not like a bear is going to win the election,
and then cut taxes. (DEEP VOICE) Rah, rah,
I use my claws to cut the taxes!
And now for the zoning laws.
What are you doing?
And, by the way, I feel like this story
is almost the perfect encapsulation
of American culture, right?
Because when other countries engage with nature,
there's a reverence.
It's like, (IMITATING OLD MAN) the mighty brown bear,
wary of the coming chill, hunkers
down for the winter months.
But with America, it's like, look at this chunky boy!
Look at him!
He's so chunky!
I just want to wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!
Dude, oh my god.
Oh, he just ate my arm.
Take a picture!
All right, that's it for the headlines.
But before we go to a quick break,
let's check in on the stock market
with our finance expert, Michael Kosta, everybody.
[cheering]
Michael, what is happening in the market today?
Well, like a fat bear on a scale,
I'm crushing it, everybody.
I mean, and I got a hot tip for you, all right?
I got a tip for you.
I got a hot tip for you.
But before we get into this, Fat Bear Week, you know,
here's a question.
Well, why are people voting?
We have the information from the scale.
Doesn't that tell us who the fattest bear is?
Am I the only one watching this story?
We have a scale.
The scale tells us who the fattest bear is.
There's no need to vote, OK?
Oh, officer, officer, I know your radar gun
says I was going 100.
But can we just take a vote on this first?
Come on.
Let's call it what it is, Trevor.
These bears-- they're depressed.
Think about it.
They overeat.
They sleep for months.
They always seem upset.
They freak out when you point a hunting rifle at their cub.
I mean, they're unhinged, dude, all right?
TREVOR NOAH: That's an interesting way to see bears.
Let's talk about-- you want to talk about money?
Yeah, let's talk about money.
Let's talk about money, Trevor.
Uber and Lyft-- now I'm an expert on this topic.
I actually use Uber Black, Trevor, because I'm an ally,
so that's for you.
But-- but-- but-- it's not a joke.
It's not a joke.
Look-- OK.
[applause]
As you can see on this chart, after President Biden
announced that gig workers should be considered
employees, Uber and Lyft shares have
taken a ride of their own, OK?
Now this chart also perfectly demonstrates
my enjoyment of making conversation
with my Uber driver, OK?
At the beginning, it's fine, you know?
Offers me a mint, gives me a bottle of water for a baby.
But, look, it starts to drop right here when he
asks me to come sit up front.
Oh, god, right?
And another big drop in value again when he finds out I
work at The Daily Show and asks me if I'm the guy that
goes to the Trump rallies.
But, look, his value increases when I
learn he used to be a doctor.
And I can ask him free medical questions.
But turns out he's actually just a chiropractor,
so he loses all his value.
But then I find out that he has prescription meds in his trunk
for me, so it goes back up.
And, you know, Mikey likey, OK?
So--
[applause]
Thank you.
I offered you a hot tip, and it's usually a financial tip.
But I feel like I have to explain this because it
keeps happening to me.
If you're my Uber driver, and I fall asleep in the backseat,
do not try to wake me up.
I will bite you, OK?
Back to you, Trevor, my brother.
[laughter]
Michael Kosta, everybody.