How To Control Emotions – Allen Fox Tennis Coach
Everybody…
this is Craig Sigl, the Mental Toughness Trainer, and today I’ve got a special guest on our
show.
His name is Dr. Allen Fox and he just wrote his fourth book, “Tennis: Winning The Mental
Match.”
Dr. Fox has earned a PhD in psychology at UCLA and he is a former NCAA champion.
He is a Wimbledon quarter finalist.
A three time member of the U.S. Davis Cup Team.
He has coached the Pepperdime tennis team to two NCAA finals.
He currently consults with tennis players on mental issues and lectures worldwide on
sports psychology and how emotional control is one of the big keys.
There’s an unconscious urge to escape this stress.
Well the way the mind is designed is slightly different than most people think.
Most people think they recognize they have an intelligent logic system.
Then behind it they have an emotional system.
And they think the logic and intelligent system runs the ship.
But actually that’s not correct.
The emotional system runs the ship and the logic system is made to back up the emotional
system to meet the needs of the emotional system.
For instance, two examples.
One we are emotionally programmed to love our children and so that is in there.
That’s emotion.
Then the logical mind says well don’t let them get near the stove when it’s hot.
Don’t let them run out onto the street.
Make sure they get a good education.
These are all logical thoughts concepts, but driven by the fact we are programmed to love
our children.
We’re a social species and so all social species are emotionally programmed to be concerned
with the hierarchy.
Whose ahead of who.
And so all of us then are driven to get good educations to have a nice car because these
are all indications of status.
How we rank relative to others.
We’re all concerned with what other people think of us.
And so then we get a good education.
We work hard at our jobs.
We buy nice homes.
We do those things that will make other people rank us high.
And so, but it is all driven by these emotional urges.
So now we get to the tennis court where the emotional programming was not designed for
tennis matches.
So players get out there and they want to win very much.
They very much don’t enjoy losing, but yet they are under this pressure because they
don’t know whether they are going to win or lose.
They play somebody as good as they are and they may be under this stress for hours.
And so there’s an unconscious urge to escape the stress and that emotional urge will often
drive the smart mind to do things that aren’t good for it.
It makes people quit.
For instance, they get behind and they’re very likely to lose motivation to tank so
to speak.
And you have to say, “Well… why did they do that?
What good does it do them to stop trying before the game or match is over?”
Well… it doesn’t do them any real good.
The good it does them is that once you quit, the stress goes away.
Okay?
So you’ve reduced your stress and see the emotional system is not interested in whether
you win or not.
The emotional system is interested in reducing the stress.
It wants what it wants.
The intelligent brain has to override it.
So the great players they may have an urge.
Or they would have an urge if they let themselves go to quit when they get behind, but they’re
not going to let that happen.
Their intelligent brain is going to drive the ship, so that’s why I say the emotional
control.
The smart part of the brain has to control the emotional system, rather than the other
way around, which is the normal way.
And because it’s not normal, it’s rare.
That’s why the great athletes the great players are unusual.
That is fascinating, so here is what I just heard.
That the guys and girls who make it to the top, they have learned to do that.
They have learned to override that emotional thing.
To take control of their system and we do have the power to do that – is that what
you’re saying?
Yes… we can do it, but it takes an effort.
If you just let nature take its course and you go out and play a tennis match and you
let nature take its course, you miss and you’re going to get angry.
Okay?
You get behind.
You’re going to get discouraged.
You let a little something bother you, you going to make excuses.
These are all natural and if you yield to that, you’re just going to lose.
So the rare ones, the abnormal people, these champions, they recognize that and they will
use effort of will to override the emotional system.
And not only do they override it, but they actually use their intelligent mind to create
emotions that help them.
And so if you look at this for instance, Jimmy Conners when he was playing tennis, he might
be losing and he makes one good shot and he turns to the crowd and he shakes his fists
and he looks up at them and the crowd feels as if they are being involved in the match
and they scream and yell for, “Jimmy!
Jimmy!
We need Jimmy!
We love you Jimmy!
Jimmy!”
And he does that not because he cares in the least about the people in the crowd.
He cares about one thing and that one thing is winning the match.
And he knows when the crowd screams it makes him feel good.
And when he feels good, he plays better.
So he uses his intelligent mind to create emotions.
The Roger Federers, they don’t need that kind of adrenaline.
He is better off when he is cool, so he doesn’t react when he misses.
The other players makes a great shot.
He doesn’t generally react at all, because he plays better when he is more relaxed.
So the great players not only control negative emotions, but they actually create positive
ones that help their game to perform.
So… did you like that?
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