So a few years ago, I had cosmetic surgery.
And I won't say what it was exactly for privacy reasons,
But I will say that it was the breast decision for me.
So I've had A-cup...le of changes that I've wanted to make for about a decade,
'cuz I was so tired of looking in the mirror and seeing Mowgli from The Jungle Book
when in my head, I was obviously an Amazonian warrior woman.
And as I was grappling with whether or not to commit to this operation,
I had this titillating discussion with my friend who asked me:
"Well, aren't you worried about what other people are gonna think?"
"Like, I know that this is coming from a healthy place, but what about the stigma?"
And I realized: as a woman, you can't win.
You know, when it comes to the constructs of beauty, it's full of booby traps.
You have to jug-gle the unrealistic and often contradictory expectations of society
where you're supposed to be beautiful but not know you're beautiful, otherwise you're conceited.
And you have to try to be beautiful, but don't try too hard because then you're desperate.
But if you don't try hard enough, you're just lazy and probably gonna die alone.
So when I've racked up all of these hypocrisies,
I came to the conclusion that I just have to do what feels right for me.
No matter what, we're going to be criticized.
And I truly believe that our bodies are just a vessel, just a spiritual lesson,
And one that will wrinkle and decay,
So while I'm here, I want mine to reflect on the outside how I see myself on the inside.
And I know I'm milking these puns, but I can honestly say to anyone who wants to pass
judgment on the personal decisions I make regarding my self-image:
You can calm your tits.
I'm Anna Akana.
And if for some reason you haven't figured out what I'm talking about by now
then tough titty, baby
Ayy.
Scene 1, Take 1: Tits
Tits. Scene 1, take 2.
Tits. Scene 1, take 3.
– Tits. Scene 1, take 4. – Getting creative
Take 5. Tits. Tits. Tits. Tits. Titties.
Scene 1, Take 10.