Heya playa, have you been texting or messaging your crush trying to think of a way to turn
it into an in-person interaction?
Making that transition can be kind of awkward sometimes.
Especially if you don't know what to say or how to do it.
Don't worry though, in this video I'm gonna share my tips on how to turn your texting
conversations into face to face ones and what to do if your crush simply won't respond to
any of your texts.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
When it comes to texting, it may feel like there's an art form to doing it successfully.
But the truth is, the key to a good conversation is being able to pay attention to what the
other person is saying and what they're not saying.
Before you go ahead and message them asking them to hang out, you're gonna wanna build
rapport with them first.
Rapport is simply having the type of relationship where you understand each others feelings
and can communicate well.
The reason I say this is if you're planning on just texting your crush for the very first
time and asking them out, I don't think it's gonna go well and here's why.
Imagine someone you don't really know that well messages you out of the blue and says
"hey".
No explanation, no introduction, just a simple "hey".
You might choose to ignore it, or you might choose to respond back with a simple "hey",
but ultimately having this conversation falls on the person that initially started it.
But let's just say they jump right in to asking you to hang out, now you might be a little
confused because they haven't really said anything in that conversation to make you
feel comfortable to want to hang out with them.
This is what it's like most of the time when people message their crush.
They go in with the expectation that their crush is ready and willing to hang out with
them, even though they haven't even given them a reason to.
One thing I'm always saying is that it's important to have some kind of face to face interaction
before you start texting your crush.
Because if you're starting at the level where you don't talk to the regularly and you're
texting them to start, you're going in with a disadvantage.
What texting lacks is your ability to showcase your body language, your confidence and your
physical interest in them.
What makes your "hey" message which behind the scenes is you saying it because you like
them any different from one of their friends saying "hey" which behind their scenes is
just a friend saying "hey".
Your crush might not even be able to tell that you're messaging them because you like
them and they might just see it as a regular message and not think anything into it.
But people see texting as a safer way to communicate, however I see it as a way to speak to them
without speaking to them.
You can message them and if they don't respond, you aren't left with the face to face embarrassment
of them ignoring you in person.
But, that's why face to face conversations are way more important.
It's a lot easier for someone to ignore your text than it is to ignore a person talking
to them.
Yes there may be situations where they give you the brush off or they just flat out ignore
you, but seeing how they interact in person gives you a much better depiction of how they
feel than reading their text message and trying to decipher it.
This isn't to say that texting is bad.
I've spoken to a lot of people that started off messaging their crush to establish some
kind of a relationship.
But they way that they did it was much better than just saying hey.
Instead they started off with either a story or a question.
When you start off asking a question, you're creating the framework for them to share their
opinion about something or a little bit about themselves.
And for every question that they answer, you can ask more and more detailed questions so
you can unravel a little more about who they are and it gives you the opportunity to share
something about yourself.
Let's say you send your crush a message "hey, I'm looking for a new show to start watching
on Netflix, are you watching anything cool?".
From here they might share that they're marathoning a certain show to which you can follow up
with "that's pretty cool, I haven't seen that show yet, what's it about?".
Each question you ask can build on top of what you just said so from there you can ask
them about other shows they've seen, ask them what their favorite show is, ask them about
movies, you can take the conversation wherever you want it to go.
These type of in depth conversations will help you build the rapport that you need so
that when you do see them in person, you now have substance to talk about.
You can always follow up with something you talked about through text or you can just
flat out say "You know, you're a pretty interesting person.
I want to talk to you more often."
The goal here is to not let the conversation fall flat by overtexting because when you
do that you actually ruin your chances of turning it from texting into a face to face
conversation.
There is no definitive amount to how much or how long you should text them.
But if you look at this very generic bell curve here we can see that there is a peak
and if you continue texting them without leading it into an in-person conversation they're
just going to get bored of texting.
Everyone's bell curve is a little bit different so what you should really be looking for is
that back and forth engagement.
That's the sign that you should go talk to them.
But if you're just not a texter and talking to them feels like you're just pulling conversation
out of them, how do you get them to open up?
If that's the case then it might be one of these three reasons.
One, the conversations are just kind of boring.
Try to liven them up by sending pictures to each other, asking questions and sharing stories.
Two, they're not really that in to you and by not responding, they just don't want to
lead you on.
Or three, they're just not a texter.
I know it seems weird in this day and age but some people are just not about that phone
life.
And if you do pass that point on the bell curve when you should go from texting them
to talking person, go talk to them anyway.
The reason I say that is because no amount of texting is going to fix the boredom that's
been created.
You have to talk to them in person to help repair that situation.
All in all the situation could be much easier if you just focus on building rapport.
But let's be real here, sometimes you just feel nervous and talking to the other person
just doesn't seem like a reality.
Just because you know what you should do doesn't mean you can actually go out and do it.
But I can assure you that your situation is not an impossible one and even though you
may not get the results that you want, there's a solution there for you.
If you have the courage to approach them in person first, go for it.
And if you have the confidence in your ability to carry a conversation, go for that too.
Everything is small steps, so take that step and approach them in person when you feel
ready.
Just be mindful of where you stand on the bell curve because that way you'll have a
much better understanding of how you should text your crush and how you can build something
you'll both be happy with.
As always guys, love and peace.