Today marks the 24th day of the government shutdown,
and every day the situation is getting worse.
This is the longest shutdown in American history.
Airports are shutting terminals.
Court cases are being delayed.
And to make ends meet, Mount Rushmore has been forced
to sell ad space to GEICO.
-(laughter) -Now...
polls have shown that 55% of the country
blames President Trump for the shutdown.
And the other 45% have clearly never seen this video.
I am proud to shut down the government...
-Right. -(laughter)
But if losing the shutdown battle
isn't bad enough for Trump, the news that came out this weekend
has probably made him feel even worse.
NEWSWOMAN: Another shocking report in The New York Times.
The paper claimed the FBI opened
a counterintelligence investigation
into whether the president was acting on behalf
of the Russians when he fired FBI director James Comey.
Last night on Fox News, the president asked point-blank
whether he worked on behalf of Russia.
Are you now or have you ever worked
for Russia, Mr. President?
I think it's the most insulting thing I've ever been asked.
How is that the most insulting question he's ever been asked?
I mean, people have been asking him
if he wants to bang his daughter,
but that is more insulting?
(like Trump): "Yeah, the other question
"was way more reasonable-- I mean, we've all seen her, right?
We've all seen her."
But yes, The New York Times reported that the FBI
investigated Donald Trump because they thought
he might be a secret Russian spy.
Which, I'm sorry, is just crazy.
And not because he wouldn't do it,
but because Donald Trump would be the world's worst spy.
-(laughter) -No one would hire him.
Right? He-he can't be a spy.
He doesn't even have an inside voice.
He'd be out there like,
(loudly): "Thank you for meeting me under this bridge
to exchange these top secret documents."
(laughter)
And also, spies are known for blending in.
If there's one thing Trump doesn't do, it's blend in.
Red tie, orange skin, blond hair.
The only place he'd blend in is in a jar of Starbursts.
Like, he's not blending in.
(laughter, applause)
So I don't think Trump is a Russian spy, all right?
But I won't lie, it doesn't help his case
when he's doing stuff like this.
NEWSWOMAN: A bombshell report in The Washington Post
claiming President Trump went to...
The Post reporting that, at that private meeting
in Hamburg back in 2017, the president confiscated
his own interpreter's notes,
shutting out members of the administration.
Now, you got to admit, that's real shady.
Right? Because now everyone wants to know:
what did he say to Putin that was so bad...
he couldn't let anyone else see it?
Could have been collusion.
Could have been something worse, you know?
Like maybe Trump said, "I love you."
(laughter)
And then Putin replied, "Thank you."
In which case I'm with Trump-- you can never let that get out.
But enough about Trump, enough about Trump.
Let's talk about the people who are gonna try and replace him.
Because I don't know if you guys know this,
but it's only 659 days until the 2020 election.
-(cheering, whooping) -I know, I know, that's...
-(applause) -that's, like, tomorrow.
That's, like, tomorrow, guys.
So the big question is: which Democrat will take on Trump?
Well, we're gonna be keeping you up to date
on every twist and turn of the crowded Democratic race
in our new segment, World War D.
-♪ ♪ -(cheering, applause)
So, as of right now,
there's about a thousand Democrats
who expected to run for president.
And I'll be honest with you,
you know what I love about American politics,
is that it's all a game, right? Most of the time,
the politicians who stand a real chance of winning,
they don't enter the race early.
It's always the fringe no-names
who announce their candidacy first.
And you know what it reminds me of?
It reminds me of a dance circle at a party, right?
You ever go to, like, a company party
or anything where there's a dance circle?
The first people who go in are always the people
who have no business dancing in public.
They've got, like, all the confidence in the world.
Like, they get in, they've got, like, all those moves.
And then all the good dancers just stand on the side,
and they'll be, like, popping and locking
and they'll be doing their thing, and you'll be like,
"Hey, are you gonna dance?" They'll be like, "Nah,
"I don't... I don't know, I...
"No. I don't really dance anymore, I just...
"Yeah. I don't... I don't really...
"I don't really dance. I-I mean, we'll see.
-(cheering) -"We'll see what happens, you know?
We'll-we'll see how it goes."
That's what always happens.
And because the election is around the corner,
the fringe dancers are jumping straight in.
Hawaii congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard will seek
the Democratic nomination for president in 2020.
Gabbard touted her work for her father's anti-gay organization
in the early 2000s,
promoting controversial conversion therapy.
Her views on LGBT rights have shifted dramatically
in more recent years.
In a statement to CNN, the congresswoman says
she regrets the positions she took in the past.
NEWSMAN: She may also have some real problem
with her ties, a secret meeting with President Assad,
and denying that Assad
was behind a chemical weapons attack.
A murderer. So that, I think, may be even a bigger issue.
Wow.
So, she's got an anti-gay past
and she defended Bashar al-Assad.
I feel like she's one more controversy away
from getting no votes in the Democratic primary.
It'd just be, like, her coming out, like,
"For the last four years, I've been dating an AR-15!
Free Harvey Weinstein! Free Harvey Weinstein!"
But the truth is, this year is special.
Because we're not just hearing from candidates
who make you say, "Who the hell is that?"
We're also hearing from candidates who make you say,
"Remind me who that is again."
Former Housing secretary Julián Castro
kicked off his campaign for president
in his hometown of San Antonio, Texas.
Castro was mayor of San Antonio
before he joined the Obama administration.
This community is a community like so many others
across the nation.
The American dream is not a sprint
or even a marathon but a relay.
Together we will show that hope can be bigger than fear,
that light can be bigger than darkness,
and that truth can be bigger than lies.
And as long as we work for it,
tomorrow will always be better than today.
So let's go work. Vámonos.
(laughter)
Is it just me,
or does Castro sound
like he went to the Obama school of speech?
(laughter)
Like, same cadence, same delivery.
Maybe it is Obama.
(laughter)
Like, maybe he just got fed up, and he was like,
"Uh, screw it. Uh, I'll run again.
"Uh, just give me my Hispanic mask,
and I'll do it."
And they're like, "Sir, no one will fall for that."
He's like, "That's what you said about my birth certificate.
Let's do it. Come on."
(laughter and applause)
Now...
now, although.... although he is a long shot,
Castro could be a real contender.
Right, he's a real contender.
He's young, but he also has Washington experience.
He's a progressive person
who's running on universal pre-K and affordable college.
His dad probably wasn't Fidel Castro.
I mean, these are all the things you want in a candidate.
But aside from Gabbard and Castro,
we've also gotten an announcement
from one of the biggest names in politics, Elizabeth Warren.
And she celebrated her announcement
with a live Instagram chat from inside her kitchen.
Senator Elizabeth Warren
becoming the biggest name in the Democratic field
to signal she's running for president.
Now looking to reintroduce herself to Democrats,
connecting with supporters on Instagram.
Hold on a sec. I'm gonna get me, um, a beer.
My husband, Bruce, is now in here.
Um, you want a beer?
-No, I'll pass on the beer for now. -You sure?
-Thank you. Yes. -Come over and say hello to the folks.
-So, this is my sweetie. -Hey. Hello.
-(chuckles) -Um, he's the best.
-Thank you for being here. I'm glad you're here. -Pleasure.
(laughter)
(cheering and applause)
I don't always drink beer,
but when I'm trying to look relatable,
I do it on Instagram.
That was an interesting choice, though, right?
It really is interesting choice from Warren,
just drinking alone in her kitchen.
I guess she wanted to start her campaign
the same way Hillary ended hers, you know?
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh!
(laughter and applause)
Who made that joke?
All right, I got my steps in.
So, as it stands,
in the past month, three Democratic candidates
have thrown their hats in the ring,
and that means the 2020 race has officially begun.
It's only January, right?
You realize if there are this many candidates now,
that means by the summer, this field will be more crowded
than Chuck and Nancy at a podium.
You understand that, right?
And ultimately, the truth is, the candidate who manages
to get through a primary campaign this packed
is gonna be the one with the strongest
and most passionate base of supporters.
So what I'm saying is don't be surprised
if the Democrats' 2020 nominee is the Instagram egg.