Shit.
Aw, fuck me.
Welcome back to this fucking thing.
God damn it.
This is the cold, hard truth right here, gentlemen.
Can I get killed by the truth?
The truth hurts!
Oh, shit.
Fuck
Crap
Balls
Fuck!
This is great!
This is a great fucking start!
I'm on the third--
Fuck! Fucking fuck!
Where am I going?
Fuck
So, I'm on a quest.
I--fucking shit!
Alright, fuck this. Going down first.
Fucking seriously?
Ohhhh...
AAHHH!
Yeah, oh yeah! Oh yeah!
Oh no!
You fucking prick.
Come on, you fucking asshole!
Get over there!
(sigh)
There you go!
Christ!
Oh, great! It was for a fucking stupid disk.
The shit I don't care about.
Lordy Lord! I got seven!
The best part about this fucking game
is finding out you've gone in a direction you didn't need to go
and then you have to go past shit that you already fucking went past!
That's bullshit!
Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
Oh, great!
Of cour--I don't know why the fuck I thought that wouldn't kill me.
'Sup, bitch?
Oh! No!
Get 'em!
Yeah!
Saved your ass.
Is that--
Did I--Wait.
Wait!
Did I already fucking save this prick?
I don't know where the hell I'm going.
It looks like I should go to the right.
How many--
Aw, fuck you!
So, that's--that's not too bad.
Oh, my god. No.
Play the fucking game!
Dude, look! It's the fucking--
It's the bullshit room!
That said I could go down and I totally fucking couldn't!
You fucking lying sack of shit!
I had to come all the way through here?
Fuck you!
Not the way I wanna go.
Oh, this is gonna be great!
And by 'great', I mean fucking impossible.
Can I not get back this way?
Are you fucking kidding me!?
Can I not get back this way?
I'm gonna be pissed the fuck off!
Okay, I think I can make it.
I think I can make it.
If I can't make it, somebody's gonna fucking die tonight.
I gotta walk like all the way around the universe.
Oh, don't mind that mouse that was visible the entire game so far.
Don't--Just don't look to the right.
Fuck.
Dude!
DUDE! DUDE!
Come on!
Go to the right!
Fucking god!
Jesus!
This is what happens when you explore in this game--you get fucking penalized!
With Penises!
Another fucking thing.
Another thing I don't give a shit about!
Oh, wait! I can't even get to it because of this one foot block!
You can't walk over this?
Look a medallion! Let me just grab--
Noooo
You fuck!
Oh, this is the fucking thing!
This is the thing everyone was fucking talking about.
Everyone said 'I wanna see him do Veni, Vidi, Vici.'
Look at the bottom!
I'm at Veni!
So this is--This is like the main reason people wanted me to do this game for Rage Quit
was this fucking part right here.
So, I bet it's gonna be great!
Is this the end of the fucking video?
Shit, am I gonna be fucking stuck here the whole time?
God damn it.
Let's see how many--how many attempts do I have?
Don't mind the time.
I may have left it on by accident.
But the deaths is where you really wanna watch.
'Cause let's see how long it takes me to get past this.
If I get past it!
(grunt)
Fuck!
Aaaah!
Okay, death. Death again.
Fuck!
You gotta be fucking kidding me!
There's more?
Holy shit!
How long does this fucking thing go on!?
Fuck!
This is why I could've never been an astronaut.
I could never go to space.
I'd be doing this!
I'd be hitting every fucking spike in space!
I'd be space fucked!
Here we go, here we go!
Here we go!
You fucking piece of shit.
You keep dying on the exact same spike.
Aahhh!
It's the same wall.
He hits the same wall every time!
Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ!
Fifteen times in a row!
This sucks.
This fucking sucks cock.
This is awful.
I can't--I can't get past that first fucking spike now.
Get past the fucking Veni, dude.
Get--get past the Veni.
There you go!
There you go, you--
FUCK!
Around, go left!
Left!
Aw!
into
that
Over
Around
In
Over!
Oh, suck my dick!
Fuck!
Halfway there!
I was halfway there.
And I'm dead.
Now I'm dead.
And I'm dead again.
Oh!
(screams)
Fuck!
Just go around.
Just go around it.
Just go around it!
Go around it!
GO AROUND!!
What do you say to this?
What do I say for this?
'This sucks'?
I'll say it, it sucks!
This sucks!
I have no fucking idea what this is gonna look like in editing.
But as fucking frustrating as it looks,
it's ten times worse!
I know it is!
It's terrible!
This is fucking awful!
FUUUCK!
There's no room for error!
There's nothing!
You gotta be like Jesus Christ after he became a Jedi Master.
Oh, shit!
You motherfucker!
You know, I'm starting to, uh--
I'm starting to see the difficultly that people were talking about with the Veni, Vidi, Vici thing.
Uh, it's hard!
I've noticed!
Guess what, I got here!
Let's check my fucking deaths.
So, I'm up to 526.
I've gotten 20% of my deaths in this entire fucking game in the last fifteen minutes on this one fucking thing!
Fuck you!
God damn it!
Piece of shit.
Whoever made this? Piece of shit.
You're a piece of shit.
SEIZURE WARNING!!!!
Skip to 7:01 to pass brightly flashing lights.
(music plays at high speed)
Ohhh!
Oh!
Nooooo!
NOOOO! YOU FUCK!!!
Seven forty-five.
Holy fucking shit!
Suck my dick!
Wait.
What the--
Are you fucking kidding me?
That's not the way to go?
I never even fucking--
That was for a FUCKING TOKEN!?
WHO GIVES A SHIT!?
I THOUGHT I HAD TO FUCKING GO THAT WAY!
HOLY CRAP!
I've been here for an hour and a half and I didn't notice you just go up and down!
THERE'S NO FUCKING POINT!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god. No.
Just--no.