Our first guest is one of the funniest guys I know.
He has his own talk show, game show, radio show.
Please welcome my very busy friend, Steve Harvey.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUSE]
Ellen, how are you?
Steve, I'm so happy to see you and talk to you.
How have you been?
Hey, I'm doing good.
You're one of my favorite people on planet Earth
and so I just want to start by saying that I love you.
I love you too, Steve.
Back at ya.
I just-- I miss you.
I haven't seen you in ages.
Yeah, I know.
That's why I have like a special studio
that I can do this in now because I'm a Zoom specialist.
And so I've started putting my name up
on the screen for any White people that might think I'm
Wayne Brady.
[LAUGHTER]
That's smart, very smart.
How's your wife, Marjorie?
Oh, she's doing great.
We're surviving COVID like everybody else,
but she got out this year.
She's getting out.
My wife's active.
Yeah, she was-- tell everybody what you did.
You've been married almost 14 years,
tell everybody what you did to surprise her
for Valentine's Day.
OK.
Well, my wife went to Aspen because she's a skier,
and I'm not.
And she went to Aspen and it was Valentine's Day,
and she was telling me she wanted me to come and I said,
well, I can't.
I'm working.
And that didn't fly too well because Valentine's is
on a Sunday.
So I just kept telling her I wasn't going to come,
I was going to buy something really nice instead.
I was going to get a purse.
And she said, I don't want a purse, I want my husband.
And I told her I couldn't come.
And so she was really sad.
Her girlfriend called me and told me, Marjorie's really sad.
And I said, OK.
So I made arrangements and I flew in, and I surprised her.
She was at a restaurant but it just so happened,
she didn't know I was coming.
And I walked in and I surprised her, and then she surprised me.
She jumped on me.
I really wasn't ready for that.
[LAUGHTER]
I was a little bit--
I tried to pat her like, hey, baby, that's enough but--
[LAUGHTER]
She thought she's-- she thinks she's one of the grandkids so I
held her.
It was a great moment for her.
I got a lot of brownie points for that one.
Yeah, I bet.
That was really sweet of you.
Now, you said she's a skier.
Have you ever-- do you ski?
No, I snowboarded, but that was years ago.
My snowboarding career ended.
I had just-- I bought this new snowboard
and I was learning how to leaf my way down the hill, side
to side, facing down the mountain.
And I finally learned--
my sons encouraged me to start doing S turns down the mountain
and I'm going-- and when you make an S turn,
your back is down the hill.
And I lost my balance in that--
what they call an edge.
And I was going so fast I thought I had it.
I was in the air so long, at one time,
I was in the air and I actually said, this is bull-bull-[BLEEP]..
That's how long I was in the air.
I had time to analyze how much trouble I was in.
I hit the ground so hard and my son skied up to me
because they're stupid, and they slammed on the brakes, which
covered me with more snow.
And I got up I'm in severe pain, I'm trying to make sure I'm OK,
but all I wanted to do was get off this snowboard.
So I unclipped it.
And I didn't know that when you unclip it,
your snowboard doesn't stay with you.
It's not like your dog.
It just went straight down the hill and it's gaining speed,
I'm watching it go.
So the rescue skiers saw me, it was a bad fall.
They came and got me up.
And they recognized me said, Mr. Harvey,
we'll take you back up the hill and you
will take the ski chair down.
I said, no, I'm not going back up the hill.
I'm going down the hill.
[INAUDIBLE] well, how are you going to get down?
I'm going to walk.
And so I walk down the hill and there was a guy standing there
with my board.
And that was a long walk down.
I never saw the board again and he said, well,
you're the only go on the mountain
without skis or a snowboard.
This must belong to you.
And so he handed it to me.
I got a cigar, some cocoa, and that was
the end of my snowboard career.
That was it.
Never again.
Were you hurt?
I mean, did you get--
you weren't hurt badly, were you?
I was hurt bad enough to never do it again.
Aha, OK.
Yeah.
I was just-- I was probably 58 when that happened, I'm 64 now.
I've calculated the years.
That fall today, I'll be dead so I don't do it anymore.
Every year, every fall worsen.
So if you're getting up there and you're 60, try not to fall.
Yeah.
Oh my God, that's hilarious.
Yeah, I've never skied in my life.
I've never done anything like that.
And now, it's way too late because I'm 63.
So I just-- I give up.
Hey--
Ellen, you ain't missing nothing.
No, I know.
I--
You ain't missing nothing.
Everybody I know falls and they look-- they messed up.
Yeah.
The whole trip is shot.
Yeah.
No, I'm with you.
I'll just sit in with some cocoa or something like that.
Hey, so your youngest daughter is dating Michael B. Jordan.
I actually knew that was happening a while ago
because Michael B. Jordan texted me and asked
Portia and I to help him to surprise her for her birthday,
to get horses for them to go riding, and which--
and I thought, isn't he the greatest--
he's just the greatest guy, isn't he?
You know what, I have tried not to like him.
I have tried to find something wrong with him
that I could dig in and go--
because I done got rid of all of them, all of them.
Someone just snuck in the back door on me
and lasted a lot longer than I wanted to.
But this guy is such a good guy, man.
He is one of the nicest guys, man.
I met his father.
I've sat up with him, we've talked for hours.
I just can't find nothing wrong with him.
I'm hoping to.
Between me and you-- well, this ain't
nothing between me and you.
Hell, we on TV.
I'm hoping this last because this is
a really, really good guy, man.
And I can't whoop him [INAUDIBLE]
Yeah.
Most guys I say I can jump on them and take them out,
but he just looks like a real ass whooping in the making
so I'm just hoping they make it.
No.
I hope it lasts too but he seems crazy about her
because he's not really settled down like this before,
and he was so determined to find the right horse,
to have a romantic date with her.
And I just-- I've loved him for a long time.
And so I'm happy for you.
I think you're going to have--
I think you'll have him in your life for a while.
He's a good guy.
Oh God, let's hope so.
All right, Steve, we're taking a break.
More with Steve after this.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball-peen hammer, and also some videos of Ellen
and other celebrities, if you're into that sort of thing.
[SCREAMING]
God.