Welcome to "Conscious Movie Reviews."
I'm your host Joy Davis and here to review "First Man," a biopic drama.
While test flying the X-15 rocket for NASA, Neil Armstrong had bounced it off the atmosphere,
then dropped in altitude fast to hit the desert floor hard.
This was the most recent mishap of several already that could ground him.
Neil's focus was off because Karen, his young daughter, was suffering from brain cancer.
On the day of Karen's funeral, Neil grieved privately, saying little about the tragedy
to his family and friends.
He cried uncontrollably at his desk and kept the baby's jewelry for safekeeping.
Neil's worry about being grounded at work can relate to the gravity of his sorrow.
He struggled with the weight of profound grief.
And by suppressing it, he presented a "cool" front.
For Neil, his major life lesson was being honest.
He wore a social "mask" to hide the anguish that's deceitful.
If he were to release any fear of criticism during emotional confrontations, he'd be free
to authentically express his true feelings and needs.
When Neil was selected to command NASA's Gemini Project, his wife Janet called it a fresh
start, an adventure.
They settled in Houston with other astronaut families for the mission.
Tragedy struck in 1966 when Gemini astronauts Elliott See and Charles Bassett crashed a
supersonic trainer jet on approach, due to fog.
A year later, the crew of Apollo 1 had died in a fiery explosion during a launch rehearsal
test.
The string of deaths only added to the weight of Neil's grief.
By continuing to say little about it to his wife, the tensions grew between them.
Instead of suffering in silence and isolating, Neil can choose stoicism that's a healthier
way to cope.
They may look outwardly similar, but being stoic is about understanding the beliefs that
underlie any hard feelings and not seeking the approval of others.
As a couple Neil and Janet are total opposites in how they communicate.
She is feeling-oriented in a sensitive way and he's a visual problem solver that just
wants to get to the bottom line.
So when Janet's being needy in wanting her husband to emote, Neil shuts down and disappears
from feeling criticized with every confrontation.
Their relationship can move forward if Janet would give herself the approval and security
she outwardly craves while Neil can be receptive about how emotions must flow freely at his
feelings center, then outwardly in an intimate way with others.
By having healthy boundaries in place, they can both feel safe to make these changes.
In 1968, NASA chose Neil as the commander of Apollo 11, a spaceflight to land on the
moon with Buzz Aldrin piloting.
Traveling to the moon was symbolically important for several reasons.
It was, for one, a means to gain levity from the weight of his dark emotions, like a rocket
lifting off the ground.
Second, the shape and cycles of the moon can represent Neil's path toward wholeness - letting
go of his attachment to the past and be fully in the present so that life can go on after
death for a new beginning.
And last, Neil was drawn to the moon's feminine mystique that influences the ebb and flow
of emotions to balance out his highly masculine side that was too logical in a rigid way.
When the Lunar Module landed successfully, Neil made the historic, first walk on the
surface of the moon.
Millions at home tuned in to witness the moment when he said, "One small step for man.
One giant leap for mankind."
He headed for Tranquility Base, also known as the Little West Crater, to throw his daughter's
bracelet into it.
A crater is associated with an old hurt on a subconscious level.
The circular shape of the jewelry confirmed Neil's need for wholeness to feel well within
himself.
By leaving the bracelet behind, he closed the circle for emotional completion.
And every time he looks up from Earth to see the moon, it served as a loving reminder of
his daughter.