in february of this year i went into
anaphylactic shock and i thought i was
gonna die it was really intense my
friend had to call 9-1-1
and i wanted to make a video about it
where i would introduce it like you know
my life didn't flash before my eyes
but it definitely became a musical and i
have this like silly little musical
number start so i hit up my music
producer
and he sent me a rough draft voice memo
of the structure of the song
and i just knew it would never get
better than what i had just heard
so here it is what's this you say
there was shrimp in that dish
oh no i'm choking oh no i'm choking help
paramedics
oh wait they're so cute oh no look
they're
so buff and attractive oh please take me
take me take me to your leader
because i'm dying you're dying you think
you're dying you don't know what's
happening
we're putting you into an ambulance
they're taking you away
and now you can't breathe and you're
singing about it
and they're all looking at you oh and
they're
giving you a chest pump oh and you're
liking it
oh and you still can't breathe and
you're almost to the hospital
oh everybody's crying you're dying
you don't know what's going on then you
get inside and then all of a sudden
everybody's looking at you they're
trying to save you
you might not make it or you might
but i think you're probably going to be
okay what do you think
now apparently there's one species of
shrimp out of the thousands of species
of shrimp worldwide that i'm deathly
allergic to and as i was like on the
pavement with my throat closing up and
the ambulance was on its way but still
so far
all i could think about was suing that
shrimp
stay with me okay there's precedent for
this did you know that historically
it was very common for us to sue animals
as far back as ancient greece animals
who harmed humans were tried in court
in the middle ages animals who committed
crimes against their human caretakers or
neighbors
would have the same type of trial as
human offenders including showing up to
court and having a defense lawyer
your honor this lepidoptera has never
even flown near that field
objection your honor when the defendant
was in the larval stage he ate plants
that did not belong to him
sustained counsel i'd advise you to
remember that though your client emerged
a beautiful
butterfly he is still responsible for
his actions pre-cocoon
it's true the most common trials were of
pests that ruined crops
and it did not stop in the modern era in
1474
a rooster was accused of witchcraft and
convicted for the unnatural crime of
laying an egg
as recent as 1924 a chimpanzee was
arrested and found guilty
for smoking a cigarette in public and
ordered to pay
a five dollar fine so with that in mind
i would like to sue that shrimp for
attempted murder
hello are you mr shrimp species 14783
yeah that's me these are court papers
honey who is it i just got served
for what i guess i almost
killed somebody this video got really
off the rails but in all seriousness i'm
very glad i'm alive you know i just have
to carry two epipens with me at all time
and
steer clear of all crustaceans and they
better steer clear of me
i'm anna akana and thank you to scrimp
space for sponsoring today's video
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