Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business
and life you love.
And today I wanna teach you 2 magical words that can help you win any argument fast.
Now, when I say win, I don't mean win in the traditional sense where someone else admits
defeat and they give you what you want.
I mean win in the real sense where you and the person that you have a conflict with get
things kinda neutralized and you find a sense of peace and resolution and mutual respect.
Now, whether it’s your spouse, who you actually love, or some random clown biscuit online,
most of us have to deal with confrontation from time to time, so we might as well get
good at it.
Now, our natural instincts, or at least mine, because I’m from Jersey, are to get defensive
and retaliate and make the other person look like a moron.
Basically, tear them a new butthole the size of the Holland tunnel.
Now, as great as that may feel in the moment, it is clearly not the best way to handle things.
So what are those two magical words?
No, the two magical words are, “You're right!”
Responding to any confrontation with the words you’re right is instantly disarming.
I mean, it immediately turns down the heat almost on a cellular level.
And you can test this out with a friend right now and you won’t even need a conflict.
Just have your friend say to you, “You’re right,” and notice how it feels.
Now, in a real conflict, this requires you to step into another person’s shoes and
see things from their point of view.
And then you have to genuinely find a way to agree with what they’re experiencing
or what they’re feeling.
And let’s face it, in 99% of conflicts, both people are right from their respective
perspectives.
Now, I know this is hard to admit.
Sometimes it’s hard to find this place of seeing where they're right in the heat of
the moment, but the faster we can get there, the less stress we’ll have, the less conflict
we’ll have, and the more connection we’ll have.
Now you may be saying to yourself, “That sounds great Marie.
But what if I don't actually agree and what if I wanna get my point across too?”
Here’s what you do.
You say, “You’re right.
I see exactly how you feel that way.
It is,” upsetting, frustrating, annoying.
Fill in the blank.
Then take a moment and add on with something neutral like, “Another perspective to consider
is this.”
Or, “Another way to look at this situation is this.”
Or, “You know, I’d love to share what I’m feeling from my point of view.”
Yes, this takes some finessing and practice, but OMG is it worth it.
So the next time you get into it with somebody, remember these two powerful words and this
tweetable.
“Saying ‘you’re right’ doesn't mean you’re wrong.”
Now I would love to hear from you.
None of us like conflict, but it does come up from time to time.
Do you have another approach that helps you diffuse tension?
As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so go
there and leave a comment now.
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
gift that only you have.
Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.