P: Hey guys! D: hello internet!
P: So I thought we should make this video as I felt like I was missing something in my life...
D: what, uh...the strange mix of beauty, horror, creativity...
D: and inappropriate sexualness? (every danisnotonfire video ever)
P...I guess *laughs*
P: So I asked you guys to delve into the depths of tumblr and tag your favorite things with:
D: and here we are...
D: About to go down the rabbit hole again...
P: It's tumblr time!
*phil giggles, dan cackles*
D: I like, that they made our faces slightly green P: Yeah
D: Just, y'know for realism...and accuracy
P: I'm doing such a good raptor face as well!
P: I'm like Chris Pratt! D: *raptor noise* P: I wanna be your friend!
*weird phil noise*
D: There you are eating my hair?
P: Wow D: like, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be honest...
D...That's not that erotic
D: *giggling* P: It's like you're blowing into my ear, like a shell...
P: A book about Phil Lester: the amazing dad (mhm)
P: Stop calling me dad!
P: Is it weirder they're calling me dad or son, I don't even know...
D: Make up your mind guys...
D: What role do we have in your life? P: I'm sorry! I'm so confused
D: Ugh, how does that make us feel??
D:...That's a disgrace to Shibes everywhere
P: He looks so serious now... D: Dear god
*much tumblr very phan*
P: Here's everything the akinator's found the crazy demon guessing machine...
P: phil's glasses!
D: WAIT STOP!
D:IS THAT THE BALLOON THAT POPPED IN DIL'S 1ST BIRTHDAY VIDEO
P: WhhhhHHHHHOOOW?
P:What are you doing?
P: are you like...s-squeezing my nipple there?
D: But no like, honestly these edits...
D:We need to take some better photos for them
D:...cause honestly, it just looks like we're groping each other
P: Probably in a baking video I was like "have I got batter on my nipple?"
D: GOD PHIL LEMME SCRAPE THE SUGAR OFF YOU.
D: Yeah... *laughs*
P: There we are as dreamy anime charaters!
D: Are-are we? We're not that dreamy in real life...
P: No.... D: Thank you guys for allowing us to kind of...
D:...live through fantasies where we're dreamy anime characters
P: Senpai!
D: Is that how you'd sound? P: Yes!
D:...a dreamy anime-
D: Uh...Phiru-senpai?
D: ah, Dan-kun?
*both laugh*
D: Some Dan and Phil Pokemon cards!
D: Phil's moves are 'potted plant'
P: I throw a plant at the opponent!
D: Phil has enough houseplants to use as projectile attacks
D: ..and smile! P: Aww a ray of sunshine!
D: a ray of sunshine has blinded your opponent!
DING
D: ...you get a self-esteem and mood boost
P: well let's have a look at yours, dan!
P: you've got 'danosaur' power
D:...Opponent is confused, and Dan has a cringe attack
P: and you throw memes at your opponent!
D: that's...that's all I do in any self-defense situation
P: RELEASE THE MEMES
P: oh WOW, looK AT THAT!
D: our (Phil's) first incredible pencil drawing
D: That's... P:: AMAZING!
P...Thank you, phancil!
D: the Dan and Phil pencil drawer phil: *giggles*
D:strong brand
P: What someone's actually put us on their bANK CARD?! D: *giggles*
P: That's hilarious D: you're...
D:...You're gonna hand that over, to REAL people when you buy things for like, five years!
P: Just imagining myself going into a slot now...
D: *giggling* and..and other sentences Phil has said
Both: OOOOOOOHHHHHHH OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
P: NOOOO!
P: I didn't think I'd be shocked so early! D: there's a...
D: There's a bottom half to that picture...
D: wooOOOOOOOO
P: I am not scrolling down!
P: who's saying 'be a good boy, ok Dan"?
P: is it an otter? D: is it shREK?
P: IS IT SHREK? D: imagine it guys!
D: Whatever you want the fantasy to be
both: *laugh*
P: i-i don't wanna look at that anymore
D: CHRIST
D: QUICKLY FIND SOME DOGS OR SOMETHING
P: cat WHISKers! D: ah-oHHHH
P: Hey, that's a good one! D: o-oh my god...
D: I just realised...
D:...that the word whiskers has 'WHISK' in it...
D: Tiny Dan and Phil, riding a nyan llama
P: CUTE
P: Dan-iraffe!
D: High effort content there!
P:that must've taken HOURS! D: definitely, yeah
D: WhAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO- OKAY! *laughs*
P: Made me laugh!
D: Okay okay right... P: I wanna keep it in!
D: That has nothing to do with us!
P: Maybe we were on that road! D: AT ALL
P: Before that happened D: But thank you, so much for submitting that
P: Casual spon there...
D: Thanks, just workin' some product placement
P: Lovely bags on the danandphilshop...
D:*giggling* ...shut up
P: OOOHHHH D:OH SWEET JESUS
P: THATS HORRIBLE D: OHH G-GOD
P: The one thing you see before you die...
P: *makes Phil noise* D: Th-that's...
P: that's a nightmare! no thanks!
D: And then directly underneath it...
D: same
D: though to be honest, with it coming out a week from the moment we're filming this that is how i feel right now
P: yeah D: that feel when...
D: IM NOT READY
P: WOOOW
D: Oh my god that's amazing
P: that's *voice crack* incrEdible
D: *laughing* wait a minute, wait...
D: In case you thought, that just the digital drawing was impressive
D:...notice the Shibe,
D:...and the Haru
P: ohhh D: and the Muse and Tumblr logo
D:...and the Pepe
D: Just worked *laughs* into the night sky behind...
P: that's so beautiful i wanna cut my own ear off...
D: Good ol' Van would surely be proud of that
D: oh it's one of these things, ok swipe in
3
2
D: 1, SWIPE PHIL
P: woOOO
*both laugh*
P: i-I feel like I was controlling you
D: we-we all lured the Dan onto the page
P: 3, 2, 1
P: SWIPE D: WAAAH
P: hey look, it's Dan and Brendon Urie, except THEY'VE GOT THE SAME FACE SO NOTHING HAPPENED!
D: Oh my god, in that picture...that's worrying
P: yeah
D: i'll take that as a compliment
P: there's the new shrek movie! if you wanna go see it
D: D-do any of those pictures...even fit on the faces that they were- P: no...
P: that...deserves no more time
D: a-and i don't even care!
D: thank you!
P: *laughs*
D: yeah...oh god P: amaziNG
D: of course P: The pope loves our book!
P: he reads it every day D: real photo
P: That's what heaven looks like
P: Awe that's cute!
D: y-yea-ah *while chuckling*
P: to-toro, to-to-ro
P:WOOOAAAHHH
D: HA P: That's so weird...
D: ok, right...
D: i-i don't have a neck thin enough for that to actually be a good hairstyle for me
P: I think that really suits me!
D: When have you evER pulled that face?
D: That-that is so, that is your actual face? phil: wait, wait lemme do the face
P: Just-just imagine that D: yeah, you're totally recreating it right now Phil...
P: It suits me!
P: that's we-eird!
D: That's, kinda- I mean
P: it's cute but weird D: hehbuhabuh
P: I don't know what to think...
D: The art style is really, wonderful
P: um...
P: Wh-h-*laughs* D: wwhAAT
D:WHAT AM I EVEN LOOKING AT!
P: A new phone background, I think D: *laughs*
D: yeah, f-for sure
D: WHAT THE F*CK, sorry P: *cackling*
P: That looks really wrong...
D: Can you do that in real life, Phil?
D: go on then, give it a shot
P: No
P: If I was a blonde cartoon...
P: ..then it would suit me
P: uUUUUUUUM
D: What...? P: nOOO
P: The orange queen!
D: I'm reaching the point, Phil...
D: I JUST, I'M STRUGGLING...
P: What noise would he make?
D: 'H-help, please kill me'
D: '...I'm made of sliced oranges'
P: ohH it's these ones!
D: OH SWEET GOD HAVE YOU SEEN THESE I HAVEN'T SEEN- P: I've never seen that one before!
D: OH MY... P: wooooOw
D: CHRIST
D: WHAT IS THAT BOTTOM ONE ??
P: *laughter* i-i don't know... D: WHAT IS HAPPENING
P: The universe is melting...
D: SOME PEOPLE SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED THESE PROGRAMS
P: I wish you actually looked like that...
D: heh, i think everyone does
D: eeeeeeeeuuuh P: I'd feed you oats everyday
P: OH-KAY
P: There's a pentagram on their basement floor!
D: Someone's trying to summon Dan and Phil using the powers of the occult
D: What is there? um...
D: some merch, a pooh bear...
D: video equipment, a lion, and a laptop
D: I think that'd work P: yeah!
D:yeah, try it out guys!
P: 'when it's the middle of netflix and phil and he gives you this look...'
D: You invited that with your tweet, Phil! P: I did
P: There's a screenshot from titanic 2
P: Ohmygod it's real-life Dil!
D: Ah-wait isn't that agent Carter?
P:What? D: *chuckles*
D: It's someone cosplaying as our sim...
Both: with agent Carter??
D: What is...LIFE?
D: THAT...FRICKIN
D: THAT IS EVERY DAY OF OUR LIVES, PEOPLE
D: 'ooh, Dan, get the door!' run downstairs and it's Phil who's bought like another...
D: FrickiN HOUSEPLANT
D: or something...
D: It's so true...please
P: I'm a heavy sleeper!
Both: give us a twirl!
D: it's like you're some tsundere, Phil
P: I am
P: BAKA *dan laughs*
D: Thats cute! P: Yeah
P: OHHHH
P: Apparently that's me and Nick Jonas! D *cackling*
P: w
P: whe-
P: why-why does my face do that when I'm mixed with Nick Jonas??
P: What happened??
D: What can I say? Dick would have cuter children...
P: 'hey buddy you in london? '
BOOP
P: 'Ok, but can you get lessons on how to hold phones?'
D:stOp cyberbullying us! ok?
P: I just don't know how to grip things!
D: I'm sorry, ok? He doesn't know what he's doing
P: Another totally...real image
P: of a... D: We are gonna send John a copy of our book
D":...That doesn't need to be a photoshop fantasy
P: Wow so spoopy Daniel!
D: What is this gonna be?
*my ringtone plays*
P: wow...
D: this is my legacy...when I die...
D: this is what will be left of me P: yeah
P: it will D: for the universe to discover
P: meme queens!
D: I jUst.....Ican't.,,
D: I'm-I'm reaching
D: I'm reaching it, Phil...
P: You're almost there... D: The limit...
D:..I'm almost there
D: In an alternate universe... phil: ohh...
D: Where the cheese is eating Phil!
P: That's terrifying! D: It's the not-Phil challenge!
duhduhduhduhdUHduHDuh
P: There's you, as a ginger person
D: That's...
D:...kinda, cute P: it suits you
D: I love ginger people
D: and their freckled faces
D: I just wanna --
D: Sorry
P: I'm concerned... D: You're not objects
D:...but i do wanna put you in jars
P: Why did we sell those masks??
P: why did we think that was a good idea?
D: We've had...
D: a-a lot of bad ideas over the years, Phil...
P: and that is definitely one!
D: This entire experience is just basically us just reaping what we've sown!
P: yeah D: We should be proud of our crop
D: That's you guys
D: You're our...wonderful harvest
P: What?
D: Sorry, I need to drop this, don't I?
P: yes...
P: heLP
P: HELP
P: HELP, NO
P:STOP D: FFFFFFFF
D: OH MY GO- P ohHHH
P: Stop melding my face with things! D: HA HA HA HA
D: how much did they even change your face for that??
P: I am the molester moon!
P: ohhh-kaayy
D: Where did you get that photo of my body?
P: *laughs* D: That's what I look like naked
P: I thought that was some horrific photoshop, but that's my actual face!
P: thaat's just a normal photo, Phil, that someone submitted
D: That is, an AmazingDil
P: Incredible! D: That's cute
P: Is that someone's bedroom??
D: Holy f*ck...
P: 'Hey kids, wanna buy some memes?'
D: Literally me in three years
P: Definitely D: ...when my career's over
P: Hey Dan it's your favorite - D:: what? - P: it's you as Christopher Robin!
D: noooOOOO NO I CANT HANDLE THIS EMOTION
D:SSSSTOOP
P: here comes the tears... D:: ...DRAWING ME IN THE WINNIE THE POOH UNIVERSE
"to build a home starts playing*
P: ..you're remembering me cause I died!
D: HAHA HA HAH
D: WHY AM I LAUGHING P why do I always die??
D: please guys
D: stop killing Phil in your fiction! P: yeah
P: ...kill Dan for once! D: ok? it's my turn *they both kill Phil in their fics*
P: wooOW, that's aamazing! D: that-
D: that's actually incredible
D: I love that, like-honestly...
D: when I see things like this, I'm like...
D: i-i don't deserve to have inspired
P: no D: Like, what is it about me
D: ...that's inspired someone to make something that good?
D: whAT THE HECK IS THAT OH MY G-
P: nooO D: ITS YOUR TONGUE
D:FROM THE BLACK ICE CREAM P: whAt-
P: What's with all the tongues today??
D: I was like, is that some like, camel part or something?
D: ...what is it? P: it does look like...
P: ...a camel part
P: I just wanna eat my screen right now!
D: HOLY CRAP
D: Did they bAKe the whiskers into the cupcake??
D: WaaaaAAAAA
D: Phil-eki! P: dur dUUUUR
D: ...you as a cannibal
P: I'm actually a ghoul
P: Dan and Phil Harry Potter AU!
D: Wi- Including young Dan and Phil!
P: oh yeah? D: In the little Philosopher's Stone period
D:...and then, oh
D: OH MY GOD THEY'VE GONE ALL THE WAY P: That's hilarious
D: NO DON'T DIG OUT THE TEEN PHOTOS P: Wow
D: OH MY GOD
D: uuaAAAAAAAAHH
P: I'd watch it! D: ssSsSSs
P: Would you watch it?? I'd watch it
P: What is that??
D: 'The Dil Howlter rap'?
P: WhAt
D: ok, this sounds amazing, but after what we've seen
D: i- i kind of need to end this on a high, Phil P: yeah..
D: ok, let's see, juST CLICK JUST CLICK
P: THIS IS AMAZING D: oh my gOd...
D: OH-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH
D: I'm blockin out the...oh my gOSH
D: They're funnier than us, Phil!
Pl: I know... D: More talented and creative...
P: wow...
D: Should they just replace our channel?
P: I think so, yeah D: Yeah yeah, I think so
D: This is the next in line, guys
P: yep... D: right here
D: AaronCello
D: And that, Phil...
D:...is an awesome note to end it on!
P: Yes! D: Do that before we go back to any more...
D:...bondage arts. P: Okay!
P: So thank you to anyone that submitted something to the tag! D: Yes
D: As always, yknow
D: We make these videos, just to show our appreciation
D: ...of how awesome you guys are! P: Yes
D: You know that we think you are the funniest guys
D:...and the best audience in the entire world!
D: And this is just to appreciate your...
D: ...creativity...
D: Let's just...call it that
P: Yeah! and speaking of creativity...
D: What? oh, really?
D: really? that was your segway, into that? P: yeAH!
D: sure, fine
D: we are kind of...
D:...freaking out! - phil: yeah! - D:...if we're being honest with you
P: I can't believe it's real, it actually smells like a real book D: i know....
P: give it a sniff...
D: h...hph, you want me to sniff the- P: SNIFF IT!
D:*sniiiiiff* it's a great-smelling book!
P: yeah! D: confirmed...
P:and we spent over a year working on this and now it's here and i'm just like
P: ERGH D: yeah, i-i can't believe it's actually real
D:and YOU can go to
D: ...to really easily see where you can get it, RIGHT NOW
D: From ANYWHERE in the entire world!
D: So make sure you go check that out!
D: I'm probably gonna go sit in the corner
D:...and rock backwards and forwards and cry for a bit
P:...ookAY
P: So if you enjoyed this video, please give it a big thumbs up!
P: You can click on Dan's face to subscribe to his channel
D: ha ha...as I'm just sniffing my own book, don't mind me
D: I'm not a weirdo...
P: ...or you can click here to subscribe to me!
P: And make sure to check out danandphilbook.com if you wanna get our book!
D: and thank you all for watching this video
D: I hope you're all having a wonderful life
P: yes! D: great people
Both: Goodbye!