- So, how many females are you entertaining right now?
- Right now? (chuckles)
- Today, like right now.
- Today?
- Anybody in the DMs?
It's that many, Tariq?.
- There's that weird nervous laugh.
- You really wanna know something else I wanna tell you?
- I obviously can't even get it out.
- We haven't talked about that
like at all.
- Do you think that it would matter to me?
- I need some tissue. (chuckles)
- Anybody in the DSMs?
- Um. - Texting on the regular?
- I have a fair number.
It's definitely under 10. - Five?
Five-ish.
It's definitely under 10.
(indistinct) things like--
Like five under 10
or like nine under ten? - It's not crazy though
'cause, I mean, it's, that's a headache.
So, I mean, you know, it's still...
- But one is, one can be a headache.
- I'm single though,
so, I mean, yeah. - Yeah, you're single.
That's a fact, so...
- I'm just, you know...
- Haven't found nobody though,
haven't found anybody to hold it down.
So, I will continue to be on my search.
- What are you hesitant to tell me?
- Well, you pretty much know everything,
so,
it's like...
- Okay.
- You really wanna know something else I wanna tell you?
(both nervously laugh)
(indistinct)
I have to like build up the momentum.
- Okay. - Okay.
- So I'm like in love with you.
(both nervously laugh)
- Stop lying.
I'm not playing with you.
- I'm not, I'm like serious.
I'm like in love with you.
I'm not like in love with you.
I am.
- Oh. - Yeah.
(both nervously laugh)
- What's that reaction?
- Like,
I am too.
But I was scared to tell you. (nervously chuckles)
- Okay.
- So, yeah.
(both nervously laugh)
It's my turn, right?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Why is it that you didn't want to come here today?
- Well,
I think I've just like not been
in a good state about my work
and where I am in the world.
Like,
I obviously can't even get it out.
I don't know, I just don't feel very happy now.
And,
I don't really like to sit across from you
and just admit that.
- So, my curiosity is this specific question,
but like, over the past three years
that we've been dating on and off,
three plus years that we've been dating on and off,
while we were off,
did you date or were you physical with a female?
If you did. - Nope. Not once.
Well, maybe I made out with once when I was drunk,
but that was like stupid. - Okay, what?
- Maybe, I don't even remember.
- Divulge.
- No, I don't think so though.
I don't-- - No, no, no. Wait a minute,
wait a minute - I'm like trying to remember.
- No, be for real. Like...
- That's not what you should have been worried about
when we were not together.
It was the other guys that I was dating.
That's what you should have been worried about.
Huh?
- That's not what I was worried.
I know. I don't know why. (chuckles)
- Well, that's why I asked the question,
coz it's like what I'm concerned about
- What is something you've been hesitant to tell me?
(sighs)
- I mean, we haven't like talked about...
So we spent literally like 68 seconds
scratching the surface on, you know,
what other relationships look like?
Like we haven't talked about as friends
like you dating and me dating.
We haven't talked about that
like at all. - Mm-hmm.
And anyway, so I hadn't like planned to share that,
like, like I like deeply,
I deeply care for somebody.
She's fantastic.
I haven't shared that with you.
I'd like to,
but yeah.
- What is the pain in me
you wish you could heal?
- Me cheating, you feeling betrayed.
I feel like our friendship really,
it was one of the main components of our relationship.
So,
so the cheating part (chuckles),
I feel like me cheating on you
and betraying you,
that sense of betrayal that I could see in you
till even now. - Mm-hmm.
- It's just something that I wish,
even if it meant you not ever see me again
or
us never anything, you know,
as long as that was a way,
I would be happy, you know? - Yeah.
- Because, like I said, I feel like you didn't deserve it
and I just think that the journey I was on myself
mixed with us, it just,
things played out the way that it shouldn't have.
And then I see like the long-term effects
that it has on the both of us. - Yeah.
- So I just, yeah, I feel like that hurt, that pain,
that betrayal, - Yeah.
- I wish I could take away.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- I don't think you know that I identify as queer,
so that I date like men and women,
and like have dated women.
Yeah, I don't know.
- Does it bother you to tell me this? (clears throat)
- No, I just, I don't know.
I just feel, I don't know.
It's just something like,
not that I'm like ashamed over anything,
just like
I'm not sure why I am like
more on the quiet side about it.
I don't know.
Maybe it is a little ashamed or something,
I don't know why.
Cause like I don't actually feel like
it's anything that's wrong.
I don't know.