You big fu- AUGH!
Piece of sh... Ooh?
Hey.
This... is a deciblometer.
You hear my voice now? That is at this many decibels.
And I'm gonna see how loud the things in my life are.
Alright, this is the- oh fuck what did I do?
What'd I do?
Excuse me?
[rapid beeping] Oh fuck it's a bomb!
[yells]
Alright she's still good.
So I'm just gonna put this...
It's not... the cord... [laughs]
The cord ain't long 'nuff.
It's currently, uh, 1:28
It's 1:28, I need to go to...
some place to get a longer cable so that I can uh, extend this bad boy.
Okay so I'll- I'll see you when I
I'll see you when I get there.
Kay see ya!
I'm gonna crack open the window.
Haha, FUCK!
Okay so according to my meter I've got 16 miles left.
I'm pretty sure I can get there.
Anyway here I go! Wheeee!
I used to come to this Walmart when I was younger,
because it was a 24-hour Walmart
and I would just walk around the aisles.
But, this Walmart right here...
is fuckin' clooosed!
Why did you change?!
Why did you chan- Let me-
How loud is my outrage at this?
WHY DID YOU CHANGE?!
WHY HAVE YOU CHANGED?!
Why are you not what I remember?!
No one's here. I've never seen a Walmart parking lot with no one here-
Oh wait, fuck.
Oh shiiiit [chuckling], heeyyyy~
Let me show you how quiet it is in this parking lot, how closed down this actually is.
Oo-ooh, someone's coming.
Alright, so stealth update. Uh, they have parked over there.
And uh,
so long as I maintain a certain level of stealth,
If I keep it under 70 dB, I think I will be just fine.
They shouldn't notice my presence.
[Dramatic music]
Oh fuck. Hang on.
They're- they're trying the door. They're trying the door. They are trying the door.
You brave son of a bitch.
You brave bastard.
They're trying the door.
Oh, fuck no! The disappointment reigns.
Let me see how loud his disappointment is.
That's really sad.
[Stressed exhale]
My gas is on low, I've got 16 miles left on the, uh...
the assumptive... range.
Um, so I think that means I can get to the next... Walmart that is open 24 hours.
I came to this one 'cause I was nostalgic about it.
Like when I used to live here in Cincinnati,
I used to just go for drives, all the time.
If I ever needed to clear my head, for anything.
Uh, I-I would just go out and- on
275- it's this big interstate loop
and I would just loop it, over and over and over again.
And uh, I could do that for hours.
Just because I had so much shit going on in my head
that I needed to think through-
And it takes me a long time to think through-ss thoughts.
[Unintelligible blabbering/yelling noises]
I liked the solace it brought. Late nights, just driving around.
And my windows have fogged up like crazy.
People are going to think I'm FUCKIN' in here!
HEHEHE
Am I funny?
I'm about to get artsy.
Plunk- oh fuck...
[Laughs] fucking g...
BAM! Put this baby into LOW!
Let's get out of here! vRRRR-
Oh, I'm good alright.
HUH-HOH
[Rumble strips]
[Dramatic music] Oh, FUCK!
Oh, okay. So, emergency stop light... update.
Oh, shit. It's green. Uh-
Uh- FUCK, and IT'S GONE.
So, I'm d- I'm fucking dead.
Doh-
FUUUUUU-
Okay, uh, update. Red light update.
Um, I'm at zero.
[Laughing nervously] I'm at FUCKING ZERO. I'm at a stop light,
but I'm in Eastgate. There's no...
There's- there's no gas stations here.
Uh, I could'a sworn I remember there being one. It's been a while since I've been here,
but- pretty- I thought-
[Panicked screaming]
Where is- where- I NEED GAS!
Oh my God, Sam's Club gas.
I DON'T... HAVE- a-A SAM'S CLUB CARD!
D-DO I- CAN I EVEN GET YOUR GAS?
I DON'T KNOW!!!
[Dramatic music stops] I'm going for it! I got no other choice.
Are you fucking... KIDDING ME?
Are you fu- EXCUSE YOU-
Wait, hang on, how loud is my outrage right now?
EX-FUCKING-SCUSE YOU!
I HAVE NNN-NOTHING!
WHY? WHY have you closed your pumps to the public?!
[Dramatic music] Alright, so bingo-bongo I found one, it's- it's literally...
right around the corner.
Okay... Car did start up.
[Moan]
UDF to the rescue. Thank... gordness gray-shoos
[Reading] 'Dispenser closed'?
Excuse you?
[Reading] 'Dispenser'- you can't read it but it says 'Dispenser closed'.
Fucking- THAT! What the fuck?!
Okay, so...
Um...
[Blows raspberry]
[Car crank sound]
Uh...
If there's not a gas station open here... I'm... fucked!
[Dramatic music stops] Found one, it's right across that intersection, it says 24 hours on it.
Let's she if sss-
Let's see if she starts up again. She sure does, she sure does.
But how long?.. I don't know, we gotta, we gotta go.
[Car beeps]
I know I'm low on fuel, you don't need to tell me.
Also, the pump started beeping...
randomly...
I have no idea wh- it was beeping as if someone was punching codes,
but there's- there's no one there!
There was no one- I swear to God, I thought someone pulled up on the other side, punching codes.
Turns out, that was not the case.
It was a FUCKING GHOST!
If I- If my decibelometer would have been on
I would've known... it was a fucking ghost-
My lights aren't on.
'K there she is- oh, fucking green-
Everyone, uh, everyone cross your buttholes for me.
It's about to get, it's about to get toight.
Oh, there we go.
It is open as hell.
It is o-pen.
Let me get a quick quality check of the, uh...
ghosts.
[Dramatic music]
[Car continuously beeping]
[Whispering] Lights!
Nyah-huh!
So, double bonus, um, they had a...
car plug with a four-foot cable!
Four feet of deciblometer!
That was- might have been the lamest thing I've ever said.
[Rustling sounds]
How loud is me opening this?
[Rustling sounds]
Doink! Four feet.
[Cable smacking sounds]
Does that look like four feet? Yeah, actually, it does! Okay, okay cool.
Plug this bad boy in there.
That is longer than the current plug. Sorry you gotta die real quick.
Nnn-nyou! [Voice] STOP!
Doink and... we back up!
That's good!
Okay, cool. Now I've got an established, uh, place for you.
I just realized that I'm gonna get pulled over because this looks like a speed radar or something...
Or if a cop sees that, they are going to be SO suspicious.
I didn't mention this, this is a Meijer's gas station,
24 hours,
Was there for me.
Sam's club is owned by Walmart.
and THEY were not there for me.
So why would I go there when I am literally right next to a Meijer-
That's 'Texan Barbeque'
Deciblometer, what do you think? Should I go to the Walmart or should I go to the Meijer?
[Creepy demonic whispering]
Thanks buddy.
Okay, update, I realized I'm dumb.
The whole point of going to... Walmart or Meijer was to get a... plug thing
I just got that from the gas station.
Sooooooooo...
[Car door closing]
Wue-he-heu!
[The check rustling and car door closing]
Alright, incoming.
[Repeating thudding sounds]
Yeah, you like that? You close?
YOU CLOSE?
You know, it's funny when I was in that Meijer...
I, uh, it has the exact same layout as the one I went to as a kid...
Uhm, the one in Milford, and it was so weird
that I was taken all the way back to...
back to school shopping with my dad,
'cause they had school supplies set up in the aisle, which is really depressing,
'cause it's only the end of June.
'But back to school is already a concern!'
I don't know, it was this weird trip down memory lane
and, uh...
it was nice...
COOL!
[Moan]
You didn't see what happened until NOW!
Fucking selfie stick, BA-BY!
I could probably prop that up-
Nn-Yeah! There we go!
I don't know what the- I don't know what the max for this bad boy is
it might be like 999
but I know that the... the decibel scale is logarithmic is so,
a noise that would register 999 on the decibel... scale would probably be powerful enough to destroy the planet.
So, I think that I'm safe-
[The check rustling and car door closing]
I got some uh, fireworks poppers.
Hm...
Alright, so this- if- yeah, that's my old high school!
Good ol' Milford High.
Anyway, that's not why we're here. We're here to test noise.
[Popper popping]
Try to get two.
[Two poppers popping]
[Painfully] OW!!! OW, my ears!
Was that 1- 117,
Did that peak at?
OW!
Alright, maybe doing that in a confined space is a bad idea.
That hurt my ears.
[Reading] The Milford High School Eagle Marching Band
That is the band that I was in.
I was a part of this band.
I did the band thing- so...
I... brought... my...
[Grunting sounds]
Deciblometer.
This is my old trumpet. For those of you who don't know, I played trumpet.
'Cause I'm awesome.
This is to you Milford Marching Band! Uh, it's 3:45 a.m.
and I'm doing... noise tests.
As only a true trumpet would.
[Mark blowing through the mouthpiece]
That's just the mouthpiece.
[Mark playing the trumpet]
121? That's the record so far.
That's even louder than the pop.
That's a good test.
And this is what you call a mute.
I don't know why they invented these.
[A sharper trumpet sound]
They clearly don't work.
Alright, good test. Moving on.
Apparently, I can't go this way.
How loud is construction?
[Construction noises]
Pretty quiet.
[Whispering] There's deer.
How loud are you?
[Screaming]
[Screamiplier]
[Mating call of the wild Markimoo]
[AM Radio transmission]
OH MY GOD, HOW IS THAT ONLY 10-
OH MY GOOOOOD IT'S SO LOOOOOUD!!!
This is the University of Cincinnati
This is where I did NOT graduate engineering school.
So, great.
I like revisiting old memories.
You know...
I like the nostalgia.
Hmmm. Slightly noisier.
Hhhhm!
Goodbye!
[deciblometer commits not living] Goodbye, U.C.-Ah, FUCK!
Alright, I'm back home.
I...
want this thing to peak.
I have no idea what the peak is.
[Tapping]
[Single tap]
[Single harder tap]
Peak dammit
[Several poppers popping]
A-OW!
Why does it- that hurts my ears!
Why doesn't it make you- What's your... What's your limit- What's his power level?!
Ugh- I feel like- I feel like three would make me go deaf.
Let's do three.
I'm gonna open the window because this is going to be loud and I don't want to..
Kill myself. Here we go.
Three...
[Three poppers popping]
[Painful grunt]
I have no idea what the actual peak of this thing is.
Uhm, there's some, like, speaker holes here,
so I'm gonna speak softly into its ass.
NNDUUUHH
What was it at? I didn't see.
MMMBURRRRR
[Screams of pain]
Did I say softly?
I meant I'm gonna scream into this things ass.
Oh, I'm gonna scream into your ass.
RUDUDUDUH
BRUHAH
Ooh, oh, that's the mic-
OH! There's this tiny little thing right there.
That's-
I think that- I think that's the mic.
EURR
EURRRR
EURRRRRR
Oh, shit!
[Yelling]
[Screechy yelling]
132 baby- 132~!
[Tick-tock sounds]
[Distant low thud sound]
It is now, 5:36 a.m.
I was born on June 28th, 1989 at 5:36 a.m.
I am now, officially, 30 years old.
And I know that's not technically true because of time zones.
I was born in Hawaii and I'm in Cincinnati but this feels right.
The sun is just barely coming up.
I spent all night, um, 'cause I wanted to see it. I wanted to be here for it.
And uh, I wanted to go into my 30's, you know, with eyes wide open
kind of like knowing how it's gonna be, because when I went into my twenties,
I had NO CLUE who I was or who I wanted to be.
I had no idea and I only started this YouTube thing when I was 22.
I was just about to turn 23 in a few months but I was 22.
And I still had no idea who I was or what I wanted to be or even if I liked who I was.
But the only difference between those two moments is that,
when I was 22 and started my YouTube channel
I wanted to figure out who I was.
And so much of my twenties has been defined by...
This.
Like...
Doing videos on YouTube...
making everyday count, you know?
Kind of figuring out who I am... day by day.
And it hasn't always been easy, like, ups and downs, you know?
I-I was thinking I was gonna have like some this grand wisdom
the moment I turned 30 I was gonna be like-
[With a British accent] Ah, yes. I'm 30 now, I know how the world works.
Uh, if I had to boil down everything I've learned about figuring out who I am
or the past, uh, 7+ years or so is that life is not about milestones,
Even though it may seem like it is, life is not about hitting a number and then being like
ah [Snaps fingers], here are all the new skills you've learned. You are wise now. Y-You-You know things. [Chuckling lightly]
That's not the way it is.
Y'know,
Just like everything in life if you want something, you have to work for it.
If you wanna know who you are, you have to work for it.
If you want to LIKE who you are, you have to work for it.
You gotta work on you.
And,
That is the number 1 thing that I've worked on... over the past 10 years.
All of my twenties has just been me figuring out who I am,
and going into my 30's I have a good grasp on who I am.
And I am just eternally grateful for
the opportunities that I have and the ability to do what I want to do
and the ability to take the time that it took to figure out who I am.
And anyway, I can't leave it at just that cause that's vapid and self-aggrandizing.
So I want to- Ugh. Auh.
Egh. Eur. Ha-yah...
Okay. Alright, and ha-y- Ha-y- Ha-yah- Ha-y- Ha-yah!
One last test to do- Ah, FU-
I got one last test to do.
A little a- a little birthday test.
Uh, I got a confetti cannon.
This is gonna make a MESS!
This-
This thing is huge! [that's what she said]
This thing is- cause I-I got these tiny- I saw these tiny little party poppers and you guys know this one.
But that- Then I saw this big- big momba.
So, this may be really loud.
[Reading] Outdoor use only. Only suitable for adults.
Well, I am officially an adult now. That's for damn sure.
[Reading] Hold firm, twist bottom.
I might go deaf here!
Ha-happy birthday!
[Cannon going off]
[Painful moan]
Ow!
[Painfully] Hey! But there you have it! Oh my God...
Hey... Happy birthday, guys!
Well, happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday to anyone else that also birthday it is.
But most importantly this guy right here. Pretty good.
And also, we figured out how loud I was.
LOUD!
Very loud.
So thank you, everybody, so much for watching and as always I'll see you in the next video.
BUH-BYE!