-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
Thank you for watching. [ Cheers and applause ]
Well, guys, let's get to some news here.
Today, the Biden administration announced a diplomatic boycott
of the Beijing Winter Olympics
over human rights concerns in China.
That's right. U.S. athletes are still competing
but the politicians will not be there.
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
Nothing will convince China to change their ways
like not sending the Secretary of Agriculture to the Olympics.
[ Laughter ]
When the news broke, everyone's mom was like,
"The oiled-up flag bearer
from Tonga will still be there, right?"
[ Laughter ]
Ooh! -Rrr!
[ Laughter ]
-It's different from our last Olympic diplomatic boycott,
which was just Mike Pence refusing to watch
men's doubles luge. [ Laughter ]
"Mother, turn the channel. Mother, turn the channel."
[ Laughter ] That's right.
President Biden will not attend the Winter Olympics.
Biden said, "If I want to watch something speeding downhill,
I'll catch a documentary on the Cuomos."
[ Laughter ]
What? -What?!
-He said that? -Who said that?
-Wow!
-Meow!
-Well, here's some good news.
Dr. Fauci said that the first data on the severity
of the omicron variant is "encouraging."
Yeah, that's what passes for good news in 2021.
[ Laughter ]
The new deadly virus variant is only "worrisome."
[ Laughter ]
People are like, "This calls for a tepid, uncertain celebration."
[ Laughter ]
Yep, it's "encouraging."
Which is positive enough to continue with
your holiday plans but vague enough to make you
spend the entire time freaking out.
You're like, "Did someone sneeze? Did someone sneeze?"
[ Laughter ]
Get this -- according to new research,
Americans have experienced a rise in blood pressure
during the pandemic.
You know things are bad when you go to CVS
and the blood-pressure machine is on Lipitor.
[ Laughter ]
Meanwhile, I read that 17 people on a Norwegian cruise ship
that docked in New Orleans have tested positive for COVID.
A company spokesman said, "We're all concerned and pretending
to be shocked by this disturbing news."
[ Laughter ]
On the bright side, Norwegian promised customers
that of all the cruise lines to get COVID on,
they are definitely still the cheapest.
[ Laughter ]
That's right. That's right.
[ Applause ]
The outbreak was serious though.
When other passengers found out, they immediately started using
their shirts to lift the tongs at the buffet.
They were like -- [ Laughter ]
Did you guys see this? This is real.
Over the weekend, Hawaii was hit with a blizzard.
[ Audience murmurs ]
That's right -- a blizzard in Hawaii.
It's basically a push notification from God
about climate change. It's like, "Hey, hey, wake up!"
[ Laughter ]
Seriously, you know climate change is a problem
when the forecast is like, "It's going to snow three inches
on the river of lava."
[ Laughter ]
I feel bad for the people who haven't vacationed
in two years because of COVID
and now they decide to go to Hawaii.
They're like, "You've got to be freaking kidding me, man. What?"
[ Laughter ]
Hey, I saw that Amazon is releasing an hour-long special
about William Shatner's trip to space
called "Shatner in Space."
[ Laughter ]
It promises to answer that burning question everyone has.
"What's the opposite of a documentary about the Beatles?"
[ Laughter ]
Yeah, the Amazon special will stream for an hour.
Just like Shatner at 2:00 a.m.
Yeah. Come on, come on. [ Laughter ]
You can see that from space.
You can see that joke from space.
Come on.
-Low marks. [ Laughter ]
-Well, this went viral.
There was pretty rough weather
at the Chicago Bears game yesterday, right?
And one fan was having a little trouble
putting his poncho on but -- Watch this.
-He said that you really have a couple of opponents.
You got this field, you got the weather,
and it is starting -- I mean, obviously,
you see it coming down.
I really walked this field before the game.
It was in great condition.
I barely saw any little divots or holes and it looked great.
Matt Prater told me it's the best that he's seen it.
But you can really see the water
kind of standing on the field right now.
I actually just saw a referee slip.
So it is getting a little muddy down here.
[ Laughter ] -Oh, my -- Yeah.
I didn't know Grimace from McDonald's was a Bears fan.
[ Laughter ]
That was so entertaining.
The players called a time-out
just so they can watch him put it on.
When they cut back later, the guy was just passed out
in his seat with a bag over his head.
[ Laughter ]
I love how everyone around him was like,
"He must go on this journey alone."
[ Laughter ]
And finally, I heard about a man
who jumped out of a Southwest Airlines plane
while it was still moving on the runway.
When asked to comment, Southwest said, "See?
This is why we duct-tape our customers to their seats."
[ Laughter ] We have a great show.
Hey, we have exactly 10 shows
before we go on Christmas break, which means it's time for that
beloved "Tonight Show" tradition.
It's time for "12 Days of Christmas Sweaters."
Here we go.
♪ -12 days of Christmas sweaters ♪
♪ 10 days left ♪
-That's right.
Every show between now and Christmas, we'll be giving
one lucky audience member an outrageous Christmas sweater.
[ Cheers and applause ]
From the Countdown to Christmas cabinet.
Now, since there are 10 shows left, let's open door number 10.
Here we go. -Well, actually, actually,
I thought, you know, before we open it, that we actually
talk to the audience and see if you guys have any questions
about the show, how it's made or anything about me.
-Doreen, Doreen. It's time for the sweaters.
Here we go. Let's do the sweaters.
Here we go, number 10.
Whenever you're ready, Doreen. Go for it.
Oh! Look at that right there.
♪♪ Beautiful.
Yeah, very nice. It's a Christmas sweater.
Ah, that is gorgeous. Look at that.
Claus.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Wow!
Want to turn it around? Let's see it.
Oh, it's a cardigan. Oh, it's a cardigan!
[ Cheers and applause ] Uh-oh!
Now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater.
Everyone, look at your seat number.
If I call your number, come on down.
Quest, can I get a drumroll, please?
[ Drumroll ]
Who wants a sweater?!
[ Cheers and applause ]
3-1-4!
♪♪
Yeah, yeah, come on!
♪♪
Yeah, put the bag down!
Get rid of that bag! Get down here!
♪♪
Oh! Welcome!
Congratulations.
Thank you very much for being here.
Congratulations.
What is your name?
-Karen Sellers. -Karen.
Where are you from, Karen? -Centennial, Colorado.
-Colorado!
It just started to snow in Colorado.
-No, it happened in Hawaii.
-It's perfect timing.
Can you try on the sweater? Would you like the try it on?
-Yes. -I think we all love it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
This is going to be great. Karen, it's perfect.
I could already tell.
Doreen, help when you can.
Oh, oh, oh, wow!
Look at this! Come on! [ Cheers and applause ]
Ohhh!
You're a supermodel. It looks fantastic!
Thank you so much!
Congratulations to our winner. Stick around.
We'll be talking to Jonah Hill after the break.
Come on back, everybody. You look great!
♪♪