All right! Time to get on the old consumer advice product review face
'cos its time for a bot that's so brand new it's almost as fresh as my rhymes!
So as we've covered, there are SO many third party Dinobots right now.
FansProject, Toyworld, FansToys,
ProjectWorld, ToysToys,
I dunno.
And today I find myself in a most unexpected position
with a pre-production sample of the debut toy
from brand new unofficial toy bros Gigapower!
Could I HAVE more boners?
Presenting for your consideration - Gigapower Gigasaurs HQ-03 Guttur!
Yes indeed, this sexy Snarl simulacrum is the first of
I'm gonna say five Gigasaurs?
And while some of the other 3P dinodudes trade off their ability to
blend in with your existing Masterpieces or combine into a single Gestaltodactyl
the Giga guys have decided to go with the much blunter USP of just being
absolutely f**king enormous!
And if you're doing dinos, why not do the Stegosaurus first?
Nature did.
So check out this babelicious bulkhemoth!
Guttur's in town to look like Snarl, be huge, and be awesome
and I'd say he's managin' a bang-up job on all three!
Height-wise, he's gotta be punchin' twelve and a half inches
and he's built like a goddamn asteroid!
Yup, he's a whopper all right.
So, Guttur's a fastidiously faithful monsterbot
loaded with G1 affection and a stunnin' level of detail!
Check him out with all his intricacies and deep sculpting and the golden circuitboard display case!
Clearly, there's a fair amount of MP Grimlock influence on the go
with like, the similarly slavish stylings and colours,
giant round shoulders and the almost identical leg-gineering.
Bit cheeky maybe, but that is kinda what you want!
Arms are lookin' broadly beefy over here with the chunksome forearms.
Hands seem fairly reliable, even with the individual digits and the ball-jointed thumb.
I feel a fair bit safer in these hands than I did with Transistor's.
Legs are an epic pair of Flintstone flares
casually rockin' the dino plates and the little legs chillin' out on the side.
I think Dinobots generally get a pass when it comes to kibble, right?
Posability's pretty lush too, with the subtle soles and twitchy toes backin' up the crushin' ratchets!
Check out the beastly boulder bod!
It's just so impressively hefty, with like the round stylings,
luxurious red pecs and the deep grey window.
Brother even opens up to show off even more gizmos, just for the sheer decadence of it!
Back's rounded off with a massive metal mohawk
and the bifurcated tail wings give him a sort of cheeky grandeur!
Love that little robo noodle!
The face is just so gorgeously gregarious with that sinister sneer
- or snarl?
He's even been thoughtful enough to bring along a spare head for the cartoon stickler
which you can cram on there in the world's easiest head swaperation.
You literally just pull 'em off and pop 'em on for a friendlier flavour of Guttur!
But also, check this out. This is insane!
You can actually pull the face off the head and swap the eye colours around!
That's mental!
And then if you want, you can stash the old spare head in his cavernous chest cavity
for an elegant space-saving storage solution.
Elsewhere in the accessory department, Guttur's packin' a few weapons!
Yes indeed, say hi to this mean black rifle!
Check it out, he holds it with like this vertical post in this little hand slice to prevent droopage.
Batteries can be a bit of a headache if you're a clumsy-fingered pudgeface like me
but they're totally worth it for the LED barrel and the goddamn plastic muzzle flash!
Pew pew, bitches!
Meanwhile, for the melee enthusiast, you've also got the classic Dinobot red-bladed broadsword
rockin' some intense light-up action and these optional squishy plastic see-through fire enhancements?
Flame on! That's how we do a fire sword!
Plus it smells like Monster In My Pocket.
Y'know what else I love about that?
It's so dumb, it's just daring you to continue taking it seriously!
'Cos when you're so deep into collecting that you'd actually consider
dropping a couple of hundred on a single item,
it can be quite easy to get all weird and tribal about it.
Third party ballers represent! Suck my taint, Hasblow! Uh!
But then he comes along with these soft plastic playtime accessories, and it's like,
Goddammit, just take your rubbery fire sword and go and play with your toys!
*wink* Stupid.
Anyway, the big bellend comes with this little clear plastic clip-me-do thing
and it's not immediately obvious what it is or where it goes.
Turns out it's a storage thing that you plug in to the world's most subtle weapon ports back here!
They just look like a couple of screw holes. I didn't even know they were a thing!
But this thing turns out to be a little micro-scabbard for the old blade
and the rifle can also snug away with this tiny little flip-out nubbin
and if you want you can go for some shoulder missile action!
Oh, right, he comes with a missile launcher too.
So yes, Guttur's robot mode is pure plastic excess!
Sure, it's a gorgeous and lovingly-executed Snarl-a-like,
but the amount of extra little touches and the uncompromising detail -
not to mention the sheer size of it - just put it WAY over the top!
This is the essence of rampant 21st-century consumer decadence
and I love it as much as I hate myself.
[DISGUSTING DOWNTUNED DOOM RIFF]
Transformation's very much in the predictable but satisfying spirit of things!
It's pretty basic at its core, but it's kept interesting and fulfilling by the chunky and the funky!
And the Stego mode's a bit of a friggin' megalith!
Check it out, it's just the perfect upscale update of the old Snarlosaur
and it's certainly a heavy handful, with its merciless bulkitude
and these die-cast pimpin' pentagons!
Check out the shipping label. Two and a half kilograms!
So check out the stonkin' great silver front end, just bristlin' with skin-level detail and deep-core circuitry!
Head's a cute little peanut with some friendly blue peepers and savagely sharp teeth
and dig the two independent uvula guns!
Legs are each adorned with a swish see-through hubcap, and they're plenty stable
with the fronties packin' a powerful knee ratchet
while the backies are fairly limited but more than sufficient.
How much are you really gonna pose a Stegosaurus, anyway?
Anyway, the righteous golden plates totally dominate the back end,
much like your mum does,
lookin' particularly majestic on this red carpet of rump and the tail even packs in a sassy waggle!
Don't forget to accessorise!
Check out this little clear hat and scarf combo!
Get the Diaclone look.
You can also jam some guns on his pudgy thighs like some kinda jiggly flab tank
but my favourite is these little fire galoshes you can slip on his dino hooves!
That's so stupid, I love it! It's like he's walkin' through lava!
But then, like, the flame goes up at the back, so I guess he's like, skatin' on lava?
Or maybe, like, doing the world's slowest shoryuken?
I dunno.
But anyway, Guttur's beast mode is a total fine-o-saur!
It's just so muscular and compact, like corned beef,
and it's such a weirdly huge novelty to me, 'cos I've had, like, no Snarl in my life for about fifteen years.
...Twenty-five years. Oh my God.
So it does kinda feel like scratchin' an itch with a sandblaster.
Ooh, it's just about all the Dinobot I can take in one go, and I think I'm into that!
Gigapower Guttur, then, is a majorly awesome toy and it's just so goddamn baddas!
I gotta say, in terms of build quality, fun factor, attention to detail, and pure heftitude,
it just doesn't get much better than this.
The only real downside, as far as I can tell, is that he so completely dwarfs everything else in the world
that he might end up lookin' a bit daft alongside your other Masterpieces?
So if you're gonna do it, you're gonna have to go for the full set.
And don't forget, this guy alone will run you two hundred dollars, and there's gonna be five o' them!
So be prepared to settle in for a heavy long-term wallet-bashin'.
But, if you've got the dough, and you've got the patience, and you've got the room, then -
I mean, it is good!
Yes indeed, gotta get a Guttur!
Gigantic thanks and mad respect to the fellas at Gigapower
for givin' me the chance to check out this monster!
Absolutely legendary.
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Robocentric vocabugasm.