- I had one bout of chemo,
and I lost about 30 pounds,
and I was weak, had diarrhea.
You know what diarrhea is?
- Yeah.
- I had that bad.
(laughing)
(cheerful piano music)
- Hi, I'm Preston.
- I'm Makayla.
- Nice to meet you.
- You too.
- Hi pop pop.
- Hello Cavalli.
So what'd they tell you we was gonna talk about?
- I think that you have stage four cancer.
- I do?
I didn't know that.
But yeah, I do.
- Yes.
- So what do you know about it?
- That you have stage four lung cancer.
It can kill you,
but you might not die for a long time.
- You know anything about cancer?
- Its really scary and sometimes really hard to get rid of.
- What I have you can't get rid of.
Its gonna wind up killing me.
Do I look like I got cancer?
- Not really.
You look really handsome.
- Thank you.
- Do you feel like you're dying?
- No.
But I feel like this could go real quick
or it could be a long time.
- How long did the doctors say you had?
- Without treatment, twelve at the most fourteen months.
And I still can think about it when he told me,
how I felt and just you know, you're gonna die by next year.
Its just crazy.
- At least you have a long time.
- Yeah.
- One year is a lot.
- It is.
You can do a lot in one year,
but you could do more in two years,
three years, four years.
So, I want to live as long as I can.
- Hope you're here for 100 more years.
- That's a shot, but we'll save 100 years for you.
- Did it scare you when you first figured out?
- Scared the hell out of me.
I get sad,
'cause knowing that when I'm gone
its the family I'm leaving behind.
And, I feel a little guilty 'cause I'm an ex-smoker,
and they're gonna miss out on me not being here
because of what I did.
Tell me the truth, you're not a little mad at me?
- No.
- If you aint mad at me, I'm mad at myself.
Are you scared for me?
- I am.
- Well, we know it's gonna kill me.
The more we talk about it,
the easier it's gonna get.
- How do you keep such good spirits?
- Me and my wife, we go out twice a month dancing.
We go out and listen to live music.
You like music?
- It calms me.
- It calms you?
It calms me too.
When I'm by myself, you know, the wife may be gone,
and I'm just there thinking my family's gonna be left behind
and that I let them down,
but then I turn my music up and its gone.
- Music is the hero.
- Music is the hero, you're right.
In me and grandma's house,
is there anything in there that you'd want after I go?
- Probably the rest of your Top Ramen if you have any.
- The rest of my Top Ramen?
Sure you can have my Top Ramen today.
- Do you have a bucket list?
- I asked my grandkids what do you wanna do?
We do little things with them that they would remember,
so I guess that's really my bucket list.
So when I do go, what are you gonna miss about me?
- All our memories
and just being with you.
- I'm gonna miss you too buddy,
but hey its gonna be awhile.
- I wanna spend as much time with you to create memories.
- Do you have any favorite memories of me?
- Yeah, first time you walked,
first time you said a bad word.
I don't know, maybe f-word.
- No, it wasn't that one, it was when you was a kid.
- What'd I say?
- You probably said the d-word or something.
- How often do you think about death?
- Everyday.
I could be sleeping one night and the cancer decide to move,
they call it metastasize,
and sometimes you won't know it and next week you dead.
- Its so depressing.
- It is not depressing, 'cause it's gonna happen.
And all we should do is enjoy while we're here.
- Do you believe in God?
- Yes.
Everyday, yeah, I pray.
- What do you pray for?
- Let me live, have a quality of life
where I can do as much as I can before I can go.
Even one time I prayed for a quick one.
Don't ravage my body,
just one day I go to bed and don't wake up.
- Will you be looking down on me from heaven?
- Yup, and you know how you'll be able to know?
When you're thinking of doing something
that you aint supposed to do
and then you have a second thought
that's gonna be me saying hey don't do that.
That's when you know I'm watching you, okay?
But I'm gonna be looking at you all the time.
And until you do something, I'm gonna be very proud, okay?
You got a little sister that you gotta be right
so you can take care of her, okay?
- Yes.
- Okay, come here.
Hey little girl.
Are you her big brother?
She gon' need you, you understand?
- I understand.
I love you and
when you die, I'll always remember this moment.
- I will too.
Look.
I don't know where you going, I'll come get you.
Alright buddy, I love you.
- I love you.
- Bye bye little momma.